Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[jessydog]

hi all

ive just joined up my son appears to have ocd , he soakes his clothes one by one in a full tub of water , the water appears to be crystal  clear then he empties it to soak another article , i,m worried about him

now he wont even travel in my car since its too dirty . he has had breakdowns back in his school days and didnt complete his uni course despite him being of high intelligence we bought him to see a child psychiatrist when he was going to school but he refused to take the mild anti depresents that were perscribed for him  he had a very patient and caring gp but now dosent want to see her again he is sure that there is nothing wrong with him , i was just wondering if someone can advise me of haw i can get him some help , thanks

[NikNik]

Hi @jessydog

Welcome to the Forums.

You sound like a wonderful parent, providing your son with opportunities to seek help. As we see too often in this Forums, some do not have the insight into their illness and when in that mindset, it's really hard to help them.

OCD hasn't been discussed a huge amount in these Forums, though I do recall @Tim_H has a son with OCD - Howard, perhaps you have any advice based on your experience of your son seeing a professional?

You can read more about Howard's story here

You are definately not alone in your experience. @somewear had a similar experience to yours with a friend's son who did not want to seek help either - you can read more about somewear's story here

I'm curious to know if your son has hopes, goals and/or aspirations. What was his motives around going to uni - did he have a strong passion for a particular career path? Was he dissapointed when he stopped going to uni?

[Outlanderali]

Hi @jessydog,

Thanks for the post about your son. Like @NikNik mentioned, sometimes it is incredibly hard when someone you love needs some help, but cant see it themselves. I would suggest that you go and talk to your GP and ask them what your options are to try and get your son support. There are options that you can take if you believe he is at risk and they will be able to explain if to you. Alternatively you can contact your local community mental health organisation and again tell them whats going on and ask them if they are able to do a mental health assessment.

But before you do all this i suggest sitting down with your son and having an honest conversation with him about how you feel, what your concerns are, rather than focusing on him. 

Let us know how you go with this, there are so many carers here who have been were you are, so you are not alone. 

Thanks

Alison 

[Rhythm]

Hi @jessydog

Welcome to the forums,

Just wanted to jump in and say what a big support you have been towards your son at this particular difficult time, but I'm happy to see that you are seeking peer-peer support on the SANE forums. It also seems like despite going through a tough time he is a resilient being and you have a strong sense of self.

The Carers Forum has a lot of individuals that are fabulous and helpful in particular, I wonder whether @Ruby1 @Mindful @suzieb8 @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Kaz @Tim_H had any thoughts to bring the table?

Keep going @jessydog you are doing such a great job here's some *cyber hugs*

Stay Groovy.

Rhythm

[jessydog]

Hi niknik, thanks for your reply , I intend to try to have a good chat with him this weekend , he dosent seem to have any real hope s or goals  I think his mind seems to have taken over him completely , he went to uni cos it was the usual follow on from his private school education  my wife was struggling with cancer at the time of his uni studies we were taken up with her illness then when she died he received a letter from the uni saying he had been dismissed ,  all he had to do was differ if he wasn't coping but he said nothing so he was out , later I arranged for him to return but he didn't want to , he vdoes some unpaid work. 3 days a week so at least he gets out a bit

thanks

[jessydog]

Thanks, I'll check them out

[jessydog]

Thanks, I'll try and chat with him this weekend

[Former-Member]

Hi @jessydog,

You have written in your post that your son goes out to do volunteer work three days a week. Is that something that could lead to paid employment? If the university was just something to be done because everybody was doing it then at a time when he is trying to deal with his own MI as well as the grief it might just not be right for him. University has social challenges and is a lot of work so if your son is not passionate about it then it might be useful to try to find something else. My son suffers anxiety and did end up finishing university but not straight out of school he did some other things in between. 

Your son is a young adult and will need to make his own decison to seek help when he is ready. It is good that you are looking for infomation and support because the more you know yourself the easier it will be to encourage him when the opportunity arrives.

I am sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose someone you love. Please look after yourself as well.

cheers

Carer101. 

[Tim_H]

Hi Jessydog,

My son has OCD. Luckily for me he actively sought help (during his second year of University) as he was stuggling academically. After receiving treatment from a psychiatrist he was able to finish his degree. I did have to really push him though as he was relucatant to go back.

OCD can be very isolating and soul distroying for the sufferer. Trying to talk with your son and reminding him you care about his health and wellbeing is very important.

Given his OCD and also the loss of his Mother it seems your son could also be depressed. As the treatment for OCD and depression is anti-depressant medication I feel you should really focus on getting him to at least try medication for awhile.

The issue of getting him to accept the illness is tough, in time I hope he accepts treatment. 1 in 50 people suffer from OCD in some form, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, and treatment really does help.

[NikNik]

Hi @jessydog

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your wife. You are such a wonderful parent managing this while managing your own loss - I really hope you're taking care of yourself too.

I hope the chat went well. Feel free to update us.

Thanks @Former-Member and @Tim_H for your insightful responses.
It's great to see how supportive everyone is here.