Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

[Determined]

Safety was a potential concern in that instance @Former-Member . Emotional time for all involving grief .

[Former-Member]

Perhaps understanding I couldn't fix some things was when I started to lighten my grip and what was a burden began to fall away.

[Determined]

I think sums it up well @Former-Member 

Lightning the grip lightens the burden. 

[Mrsjones]

I needed to start understanding that I was not accountable for my husbands mental health, there was nothing I could do to prevent his depressive episodes. When he is feeling low, unable to get out of bed I used to stay home from work and cancel plans... the last 12 months have taught me that this didnt help. I thought I was protecting him when I really couldnt. So I changed... Same situation but I went to work, kept plans with friends and family or any other commitment I may have had. This took a huge load off and stop me feeling hate towards his health. I obviously ever left him alone when he was unsafe but I needed to do this as part of my own self care.  

[Shaz51]

I needed to start understanding that I was not accountable for my husbands mental health, there was nothing I could do to prevent his depressive episodes. When he is feeling low, unable to get out of bed I used to stay home from work and cancel plans..---- Ohhhh @Mrsjones 

I am there at the moment , I have cancelled soo many things at the last moment

this is where I need to get "ME " back @Former-Member , @Determined , @Former-Member , @Georgie_Girl ,

[Shaz51]

Hello @Ppp 

[Former-Member]

Its not easy realising you can't fix things sometimes is it!I can struggle with that too. 

@Mrsjones that is such great awareness, taking the time to consider whats working and whats not is also not easy - well done and good to see it has taken a bit of a load off you too!

[Mrsjones]

@Shaz51 - its hard work but when you can stick it out it can help you both. There is a lot of guilt but its important to not feel trapped yourself.
If it helps, maybe talking to the person you care about 1st before making such changes, so they know you are doing it for the right reasons.

[Former-Member]

Its that time of the night where we have to wrap up! Thank you so much to everyone here for joining us tonight, there has been such a wealth of great advice and tips shared tonight.

Also to those of you that are new to the forum, I really encourage you to head to the ‘my stories’ section and post a thread to let us know a bit more about your current experiences so more members can connect in with you and share advice 🙂 we have a very welcoming space here as you may have felt from the wonderful other members that were here tonight.

Thanks again for sharing tonight everyone, its not always easy to be vulnerable and share experiences so I really appreciate everyone doing that tonight. Have a lovely evening everyone!

[outlander]

thanks for the great chat everyone
welcome again to all our new members, I do hope you stay and join outside this chat too.