Something’s not right
I'm so sorry you are struggling so badly today. We did speak briefly on the Sports thread earlier tonight. And I havent been on my PC much at all today. When I spoke earlier tonight I was on my mobile phone, and am not good at navigating on it. I am only now about to head off to bed and jumped quickly on the PC. Thats when I just found this new thread of yours.
I cannot tell you what you should or should not do, of course. But it does sound somewhat irrational to run away and disappear. I do think it would be a mistake.
Anyway you were sounding a little better later tonight than you were when you first wrote here. I hope you managed to speak to a counsellor or someone on one of the help lines. I'm sure they would know what to say and do to help. Much better than I would.
I feel very useless in situations like this. All I can do is to let you know that I care for you, I worry about you, and I truly hope you do not put yourself in danger by running off and disappearing. Your family, your friends, and your supporters and members who receive your support here would all miss you immensely.
Please be okay. Please think hard about your options. Please seek the support you need in order to make a rational and sensible choice about what you need to do.
I care about you Bluebay, and want the best for you, and for you to be happy. Going to bed now, but will check back in the morning. I hope you can get some sleep now too and start tomorrow with a new mind set.
Sherry 
Thanks @BlueBay for checking in and giving an update on how you are today.
I admit I stayed in my PJs this morning too until not long ago. Its not wet here, but it is cold and very windy. Wind coming off snow I think. Windy weather puts me in a bad mood unfortunately, and makes me feel ill at ease.
Ahh ... now thats a coincidence. I have an appointment with my psychologist on Thursday too. I have a few issues I'm also keen to discuss with her.
I'm sorry you had little sleep, and what little you did have was disturbed and disrupted. I know only too well what those sort of nights are like. Exhaustion and feeling highly emotional are certainly two of the things which can result from lack of sleep. Some days its very difficult to stop the flow of tears, with every little thought tending to lead to sad or bad thoughts and subsequent tears.
You know the importance of course in doing your utmost to distract yourself from your thoughts right now. At least I'm very happy to hear that you have decided that disappearing would be a bad choice. I know your family would miss you terribly. How old is your grand daughter? I have 4 grand sons (19yo, 13yo, and 2 x 8yo) and 2 grand daughters (2 x 6yo's). Although I dont see them as often as I'd like, I do love them all very much. Unfortunately one set live about 5 hours South of us and the other set live 6 hours North of us. So its not easy to catch up with them, especially when both step-son and step-daughter both work and have young children.
Its an indoor day for me due to the windy and cold weather. So far I have called my brother for a long chat. And also completed the difficult sudoku from the newspaper. Just thinking now about what to get for lunch for hubby and I. Hubby is always hungry because of the life saving medications he's on. So he will be complaining soon that lunch is not ready. Soup and a toasted sandwich for today I think. Just the soup for me.
How about you?
Sherry
Thanks to you too @BlueBay. Hope beautiful Ayla pays you a visit this afternoon. I feel sure she will help brighten your day. Really pleased that @SleepyPanda has been helping you. They're a great lot, the moderators here. We are lucky indeed.
I dont have any real life friends either BlueBay, so the Forums are a godsend. Yes chat later, that would be nice.
Just finished lunch and feeling cold to the bone. Hubby gone for a sleep which he does every day after lunch. I'm going to go hide under my nice warm doona with Holly for a sleep too hopefully.
Sherry
Hello @BlueBay I'm so glad you're still at home and on the forums. You've come through an extremely hard 24 hours, and more, and I'm proud of you for hanging in there. Please be gentle with yourself, and rest as much as you can.
@Former-Member & BB it's grey here, and the coldest day of the year so far. I do find the the depths of winter with the light lacking that I feel lonelier. The forums are a blessing for me. Here I feel like my experiences and my life are valid, and I don't need to explain my struggles, or justify my existence. BB you are not a bother; you are so worth connecting with and you are a valuable part of our community
