Hi @Sakurapuss
Sending you a warm hug. It's so painful to feel this way......How do you acquire self worth? Recognise your strengths, regardless of how small or insignificant you think they are. Do you love and care for your family? - tick. Do you feel compassion for those who suffer similarly? - tick. Would you try and prevent this hurt and pain from happening to others? - tick. Do you do your best regardless of the pain you struggle with? - tick.
Just imagine this scenario. A person is homeless and starving in the street. Two people walk by. One is an accomplished professional who has everything - the car, the house, the job, the friends, the family etc and he walks stiffly by the homeless person feeling repugnant towards him. Then another person walks by looking somewhat nervous and dressed a little dowdy. She walks by and talks to the homeless man like one would a friend. Then buys a meal and shares it with him. Whom to you has the most value to this person and society?
Self worth isn't always the standard that society sets or what others think. But it is the person we are deep down and those values we cherish - that defines our worth whether we recognise it or not. Look at your strengths and build on them putting past hurts and mistakes behind. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whomever you are with - leave your mark without motive.
How do you care for yourself when you don't feel worthy? Be determined to be as kind to yourself as the woman above was to the homeless person. Don't give into self destructive thoughts or pessimism - when you feel like that "do the opposite to those feelings". E.g. When you feel defeated set a goal (e.g. Going for a long walk). And just do it. Why? Because you will always feel better afterwards. As no one wants to feel unhappy and depressed all the time. Small example.
Why care for yourself when you don't feel worthy? Because when you care for you and feel happier those whom you love around you will be happier. It's worth the effort, the battle to feel moments of joy.
Remember feelings are deceiving. Dont let your emotions dictate your self care - but your mind and will. Do what you know is the right thing to do for yourself. You will have to push, but when you do you will feel initially a small sense of satisfaction and achievement. Do this enough and it will become more natural. And you will experience more contentment and confidence more gradually.
If you want to know your true worth look inside your heart. Not your past mistakes but your intentions. And then build on it.
