NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Change123

Sounds like you have found an important anchoring feeling within you.  You can get angry and defend own rights coolly enough to also offer solutions and you can feel empathy for others pain ... yes I agreee .. it is sad when workplace situations develop like that.

Keep taking care.

cheers Apple

[Change123]

Thanks @PeppiPatty & @Appleblossom

@PeppiPatty yes next time I will put in bullet point format and I can see how that would help.

Maybe for once I'm feeling a "normal" sense of  sadness which I dont recognise but its good. Not stressed, I'm just counting down till break up day when we close for 3 weeks - I need this break from work so much!

[Change123]

I think SANE will be able to write a book by the time I finish with this thread but hey I'm surprisingly ok - just got blamed for something my receptionist has done and I'm just smirking instead of getting angry.  We have 2 different letterheads as we have a compnay in europe but they dont have the same quality certification so we cant have the same footer on the bottom.  The receptionist who is 64 hadmade an error and used the wrong template so their was a big huff n puff from the wife, infact she came out to reception and yelled at both me and the receptionist for getting it wrong and for us not having good communication - it was just an error.  Anyway after the yelling I showed the repcetionsit how to get rid of the footer properly as she just tried deleting some of the picture but bits still came out.  Once I done that as I was getting the print out the wife was there and she was growling something (I think I'm tuning them out now!) anyway I tried again to turn into a positive and said look what if we create a folder just for the european branch and just file the letters in there so that way when we copy and paste to the next letter we have the correct details and it will help eliminate human error.

Her response "would bloody help if you guys used the thing called a brain! my response I just smiled! 🙂

Another employee who heard and was involved in this came up to me and said "how can you be so calm when she was being a complete b..c! "I said I wont reduce myself to her level and I will act professionally not like her - I choose to not take this on as a crusade and there is no point- I just want to fix issues.  He said if she talked to me like that I would have lost it and punched her - I'm just sitting here feeling quite good about myself with a cheeky grin especially knowing that it was noticed how professionally I acted. I feel bad for the receptionist and have comforted her as she was so ropeable, I just said which made her laugh "look you have joined our club - welcome!"

Anyway out of here in a few minutes till Monday so yay! I'm just realising how much I actually pity my bosses they must have a horrible life which they probably only have themselves to blame for, all this turmoil they want to create.  

But I'm going to have a great weekend and not think of this anymore till next time..... 

[PeppiPatty]

@Change123

Are these two bosses sneak drinkers??

I LOVE your attitude......

[PeppiPatty]

I dunno if bullet pionts willl help or not but @Change123 you are already creatvely seeing how to change a bad situation into a good situation

you know, like say, your attitude with the bosses wife but it was just an idea for you to think about........

It would be awesome if your great ... attitude could be seen by your bosses and give you a little break........

What does your partner think? Thats the important relationship.........

Care to you 

PP 

Her's some chocolate for you x

[Change123]

Thanks @PeppiPatty

I havent said too much to my partner, he doesnt like to talk about my work, brings up bad memories for him when in one of my last jobs I put work first above him.  I wanted to tell him but I havent.

Unfortunately he really upset with me at the moment I said somethng to him that spurred on some other feelings and he is ranting and yelling at me thhis morning but surprisingly I'm not as upset as before. I think maybe the increase in anxiety meds has helped.  It ws my fault he had asked me not to comment on this particular thing as it upsets him and without thinking I did - I aplogised as soon as I realised but it was too late.  I dont know if the bosses will change much, I have got a little break though the old owner has gone overseas for a few days which I wasnt aware of so when I came in this morning it was a nice surprise after the crap at home.

I'm ok at the moment 🙂

[Change123]

@PeppiPatty

Sorry forgot to mention no my bosses dont drink but I suspect the wife has MI issues bipolar or even BPD.  I know she was abused as a child and has a scar on her face for it.  Her mood chops and changes so erraticaly, one minute she is nice and the next she is so abusive and nasty. (reminds me of my partner sometimes)They dont drink at work unless their is a function put on, I know they drink a little at home but I also know the senior partner cant drink much now due to his health and age.  He is only child syndrome, his mother did everything for him and now if he doesnt get an answer to his question within seconds he pulls a tantrum but I really do think dimentia is starting to play a hand with him but with her no reason except for my suspicions above.

Thanks again.

[Change123]

I'm sure she senses when people are down and puts the boot in further! I was even avoiding her but I got a rude email from her now.

Someone was after an employee benefit that we have in our policies, inreality we cant say no but because I know they are watching pennies as we dont have much work I thought I would ask her in an email so it can be confirmed.  This was over a month ago and I even spoke to her about this verbally and she spoke to one of the other managers but never got back to me.  The employee asked again so I sent another email yesterday and instead of saying something like "thanks for asking but as its in the policies we have to do it " but NO I get a rude email basically telling me I shouldnt ask but if I didnt ask I'm sure I would get told about that too.  ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

She is a total bii! but I replied very nicely despite her attitude and said "great thanks I will let him know".

I know I'm fragile today but her crap is getting worse and worse (shes like my fricken partner  at times!)

Ok that feels a bit better need to get it out as I damned if she is going to add to my problems.

🙂

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Change123

Thanks for the message. Ive been reading them but have had my own MI to deal with. I've been thinking about you. 

I wonder if your partner can calm down a little .......it took me many many years to get into a good relationship with someone, I now have it with my husband. I was 43 years old when I met him and been married for about 5 years, 2 of them, I left him because of his need to give up the drugs and alcohol which he did. 

There is a feeling that you maybe can say something to your partner like: our home now has a ban any yelling in it........can you say it in a kind and caring way and make a joke about it? Like lets leave all yelling on the front mat or ......when we walk into the front door from work, can we leave behind our anxiety?

I do agree with the meds, I began one at the beginning of this year...it's completely changed me !! 

If you want your work to change, well it's not going to. I dontknow what shes got and really, we dont really care do we??

You must must take care of you.

Your doing a great job, I have been reading your messages.......

PP

[Change123]

@PeppiPatty

Thanks for that - I think work is the least of my problems at the moment.  I found now I dont really care either about them or it.  I'm just coming here doing my job to the best of my ability and realise I can never please them.  The real test for me will be my performance appraisal to not let that get to me as I know it wont be good.  She doesnt believe in giving good evaluations as in her words "people get too confident and then slacken off".

I guess in one way this place is good for me, its like full time therapy - learning to keep my rage in, not to get too upset and take things personally and learning not to care as much as I feel thats one of my issues - I care too much of what other people think whether I admit it or not.  Work has always been a place where I can thrive especially with my home issues with BPD and now that its not - well I have to learn to deal with it and leanr to care less.