NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

[PeppiPatty]

Dearest @Change123

Thanks for the message. Im VERy interested in what @BlueBay @Appleblossom @utopia writes but here is my spin.......

It feels like this: 

You are attracted to the yelling because this is what scares you. The most imprtant thing is Not to have in in your life at all.......you need to get away from it. Even your name Change123 is asking you to do that. 

The music is awesome. I comef rom PErth, I used to see John Butler play when he was living in Pnjarra with his family and singing in little grovely pubs around PErth. He was SWesome then. He used to come and visit children in the Children's Hosptial here in PErth when he became famous here too. I was working in the childrens hospital, What great taste you have......What great music you listen to. 

Im a tragic Morrissey 80s listener......YOu know...."The Smiths,' "Slow TRain Coming,' Bob Dylan and Loyd Cole and the commotions. Saw Loydd Cole a couple of years ago,,,,,,he was pretty boring a couple of years ago, but the guitar playing he played was awesome.

Off to work I go. Good luck to you, can't wait to read what other messages you get and will read them tonight....

PP 

[utopia]

@Change123. What I meant by having support around you - when you write your letter - is tohave support aavailable should you need it. Eg: ph your gp or psychologist and get an appointment straight away. Or a friend who is very good at listening and supporting you and helping you calm down. You may not need this at all. You may be ok writing the letter - shedding a tear and then moving on.
I'd explain clearly to your partner tonight about your need to avoid raised voices. And how your home needs to be a safe place where this trigger can be avoided at all times. Then discuss what he could do instead if he gets frustrated. Make sure it is something you are both comfortable with.
Yes, some people are able to try and desensitise a trigger - but I think this needs to be done with the help of an expert - a psychologist. The last thing you need is to make your anxiety and PTSD worse.

[Change123]

Thanks @PeppiPatty & @utopia

I'm actually going to discuss this with my partner and try to come up with a strategy for me.  Initially avoidance but I know I need to get over this so I will talk to him about making some sort of plan to somehow get me desensitised to it. Ie. getting him to start with to talk a little louder so I get used to this and so and so on. I also think that this might help us together as part of his issue is that he feels he has no control over anything so this is something he will be able to control and might help our relationship as well. Not sure exactly what but I will use my energy after doing my letter to my father.

@PeppiPatty

I'm also an 80's girl but grew up with australian rock music like, cold chisel, angels, divinyls skyhooks etc but my music range is huge it goes from when I'm angry I can listen to Rage against the machine to get some out and then the other side is as mentioned John Butler, Pink floyd, Fleetwood mac also loved Superjesus (listening to them now).  I love being able to hear guitar and drums in music.  Cant get into all this hop hop stuff that has no real music but there are exceptions I like Hilltop Hoods and used to love Beasite Boys too.  So my range is huge dependent on my mood.

Have a good day everyone!

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @utopia

I like very much how you write to @Change123

You are so caring to her. I bet this hasn't happened to you and me in the past hey? It's good that we can write to seomone though ...x

Hi @Change123

Im trying to read what your going to do and it sound good......you are reading good in creativity in solving the problem by inclusing the boss in it.

Can you write how it goes?

I saw The Divinals play many years ago, I was only 14!! Like The HillTop Hoods A lot too!! 

[utopia]

@PeppiPatty. Mine was from a workplace incident with a really sick and dangerous client. That incident sent me into this current spiral of MI.
However, I did grow up with a dad who would have me in tears just by yelling. So a double trigger.
My ex's haven't raised their voices and yelled. Instead, I chose men, who really didn't care about my opinions and just ignored me. And through my therapy, I learnt just why I chose these silent types.
I hope you have had better luck in that department. But it sounds like you haven't.

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @utopia
My mum and dad used to scream at me when I was young / until probably just last month.
Something has changed in my mum : very strange.....
I chose relationships with dangerous men 1: with a very aggressive scarey person my dad pushed onto me for 2 years and he spoke about me behind my back to my mum and brothers about my bad decisions. But this is over with my darling husband.

I have never been so adored ever. I just wanted to meet someone really wealthy : I chose him thankfully

[utopia]

@PeppiPatty. Although you have lived through adversity when it comes to the previous meb in your life - it's heartwarming to hear you now have a good man - oñe worthy of you.
I hope one day soon to have that same opportunity.
Not wealthy in money - but rich in life.

[PeppiPatty]

@utopia

Without acting as I know anything.....

Be open to talking and spending time with people who you trust. Keep very strict boundries up when you do meet someone who is interested in you. 

the issues we had when we got together were very difficult, I see a Psychotherapist and he would come with me every week......he would have a 'break and go ourside and we would watch him smoking cigarrettes and talking to each hand. She would say...' Anne, yes, it is good that my neighbours know that I'm a Psychotherapist because they would be very surprised to hearing  this over the fence..."

[utopia]

Thank you @peppipatti. You are saying what my psychologist has said. So it's good to hear it again. Reinforce it in my brain.
I plan to take my time.

[PeppiPatty]

the greatest gift I get from getting older is patience.....

If you press

here

This is one of my favourite songs........

it's the the imges and the story behind that I make up myself in this song.