A long rave

[eth]

Hi @Mazarita I'm glad you're feeling better this morning and thanks for your response about NDIS news.  At this stage I'm just keeping my mind focussed on other things.  Also had a night out last night with bro and sil and a group of people including musicians we then went on to see perform.  I actually handled being in a pub environment for the first time in years.  Moments of anxiety but also moments of realizing I could go outside for a smoke with other members of the group who I'd only just met, and even had a short dance.  It was like I was observing myself and recognizing I've progressed re cPTSD responses in a crowd.  However it meant I didn't take my meds until 3 hours later than usual, so my head's been a bit foggy this morning.

Not sure yet what response to the NDIS matter will develop.  Mostly I'm feeling like walking away from the whole business.  But I will give it a little time before making a decision about this.  SIL and bro are very supportive on the issue and how it affects me.  SIL has done so much work on this for me so she too is angry. 

[Mazarita]

@eth, really great news with the night out! Sounds really enjoyable, even if there were nerves involved. Good on you for deciding to go after all. It sounds a bit like how I feel when I go to the poetry nights, very nervous but also exhilarated by being able to participate. I often need recovery time afterwards though! Really glad to hear bro and sil are being so supportive and that you are all in it together in a way. Good idea on taking some slow time to think about what to do next. 

[Shaz51]

Great news with your novel, @PeppiPatty

Hello @eth, @Mazarita, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom 

[Mazarita]

Hi scottish sister, @Shaz51. How are you this morning? 

[eth]

Hi @Shaz51  hope you have a good day today.

Thanks for the positive vibe @Mazarita.  Today I'm just researching and hope to do some more writing this afternoon.  ATM watching a podcast about female icons and godesses being written out of history.  It's called The Hidden Female Rebels and Shamans and is reminding me of times spent in my 20s researching the topic with my old mate Maggie.

What are you both up to today?

[Shaz51]

How are you my scottish sister @Mazarita

we went for a bushwalk this morning , no dragonflies to photo , ony lots of marshflies -- ouch

got home at 10am and then had eggs on toast -- big mistake , my stomach feels a bit yukky now but apart from that I rang up mum and had a chat , cup of tea might be nice now

[Mazarita]

@Shaz51, cool that you went for a bushwalk, ouch to the marshflies. I'm okay today. About to vote in the marriage equality ballot.

@eth, another interesting subject to be researching. Part of my study decades ago was about how female artists had been overlooked in history. I have nothing planned today, going with the flow.

Back soon, after I've voted. 

[Shaz51]

Hello @eth 

after our walk this morning , I  think relaxing might be good  xx

[Shaz51]

@eth, another interesting subject to be researching., I did some writting years ago , I will have to find it again and read it

See you soon @Mazarita, I have to wait for it in the mail

[Appleblossom]

@eth I love hearing about your daughter's wonderful independence.

It is terrible that her issues were due to a doctor's mistake, but she battled on regardless.

Good on her and YOU.

Some comments do rattle around in our brains for decades. I guess we are so vulnerable and unguarded after surgery (or childbirth) so they penetrate deeply.  For me it was after the birth of first child that I was cut to the core and told off for having given up smoking but too late!! Lying on the bed with innards a mess!@Mazarita It helps me to know that I am not the only one who had to deal with stuff like that. As we reflect now maybe we can reduce the sting of those comments and put them in perspective.  A doctor having a bad day.

I might look at Reign some time. I watched tv series for a few months and then got bored. Have either you or @Shaz51 seen Outlander?

@PeppiPatty I am looking at my personality in a different light these days.  Good on you for writing.  I will get there.

One change I have made is that I am no longer teaching and so am discovering the wonder of having a home and music for me.  It is weird. I am nearly 60 and they are new feelings and experiences.

Sorry Mr G is struggling, but you have been loyal and a trooper.  Look forward to hearing about self care.  I find it difficult to do but am learning.