Hi @Former-Member ....
There is a lot about that that sucks .... but I hope, little by little, you can start piecing things back together in baby steps. You deserve recovery of your life, even if you have lost motivation to do so. Here Yu are not alone.
I have several walking "tracks" near where I live. I love to walk, and will walk 8km, but I will be just as happy walking hills for 10 minutes, or along a river for 30 minutes. Can you map out some walking paths in your area for different lengths of time, and get your tooshie moving again ?
If you are like my hubby, and I refer to him as WH (wayward husband) he has all-or-nothing tendencies which I think align with addictive behaviour. At some point he is going to have to learn to moderate. Excessive exercising is one of his problems. Do you walk now for the enjoyment of it, rather than a pursuit of body image ? I know excessive excercise produces an endorphin rush, but the regular gentle exercise provides endorphins too.
In the wake of this new version of e.d. arriving on our doorstep I have started to learn much more about e.d.'s in order for our family to survive it. I refer to "this version" because in hindsight it is clear that he had BED for 25 years before that, and it's only in recent years that BED has been identified as an e.d.
The BED was masked by workaholism .... another potentially contributing factor. Now I understand it to be an OCD behaviour, but it's also about perfectionism, and it's addictive. Then I just saw it as the survival of our business ... in hindsight it's clear that our industry attracts and validates workaholics.
There are other familial background things, like an idolisation of thinness, lack of emotional connection / processing, carrying adult responsibilities while he was still a child, reward-with-food mentality, focus on success and achievement for identity. I now have a DIL struggling with BED and bipolar, and can see contributing factors. The bipolar has a hereditary line. I am guessing that your recovery path has made you familiar with contributing factors, as these have to be countered by degrees as a part of the redirecting and healing process.
WH has the excess skin issues. He has lost the same amount of weight before, but gained it back when he couldn't spare the time for exercising and began to comfort eat again. This time something changed significantly. I think he geared up with extreme determination, and launched into a diet and excessive regimen that has ruled our lives for the last 7 years. Something changed in his mindset ... I think under starvation conditions he set up in the first 12 months, and it has taken him from us for the moment. I say for the moment because I am determined to beat this thing. Our challenge is in trying to walk him home, and it's been a torrid path.
I encourage you to try to establish patterns of self-nurturing, and let results and life changes flow out from that.
I hope I haven't overwhelmed you by sharing too much.
💜
