Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

happy 71th  birthday Mr @Former-Member 

[Sophia1]

hello @Former-Member 

You have had to deal with far too much for far too long at the mercy of the medical system...

I do know about carers burnout...for me it was deemed a possible cause of my tumour..

regardless...I was left...in a chaotic state...a long period of shock...loss of memory and incapable of speaking at times..

I know that some deem my role as carer questionable as said person does not live with me...

To those people I say...I too felt the same for so long...

To this day the Carers association reiiterate my needs are very important...

Accepting this concept is very hard...

I understand @Former-Member  it in some ways is letting go of a part of holding on to our loved ones...

It hurts like ******

We listen to abuse at times from our loved ones...we set personal boundaries ....

we still are there every time there is a new quest...

We are angry and this is so very very hard to deal with as we love them so very much...

You are experiencing a range of emotions that are written in text...

does this make it any easier.....no...

Now is the time for You though...as hard as that is to read...hear...accept...

You are not letting go of any of that love that you have for your loved one...

You are allowing some love for yourself that has been sidetracked for some time...

my situation is so different to yours...

I will never have my son back as he was again...

I cry and want to rage as I write this...

It is the truth though and I have to come to terms with this...

As do you...as painful and heartbreaking as that is...

Today I sat and held hands with a friend diagnosed with Alzheimers who told me that she has noone to talk to...her husband has diabetes and has been dependent on her for 50 odd years...

I told her that we will be here for her...

She said that she was not stupid...

I told her that no she was definitely not stupid ...she was her...she was still loveable and important...no matter what diagnosis

Can you ring Carers Australia and tell them exactly what you have been enduring over such a long period of time and get something happening that you so much deserve..

You are strong yes....even the strongest of people need to know when they have to accept help...

You are strong and intelligent enough to know this...

We are all holding you...even though I am not here very much...

Knowing is enough sometimes

💜💛💚

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member 

sorry, I had to delete. I know you read it though. Take care today. 

Having coffee and toast in bed. 

☕️🍰

💜💖🌷🌸

[Shaz51]

hello @Former-Member 

sending you tender hugs at this time

Hello @Former-Member < @Sophia1 , @outlander , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @outlander @Former-Member @Sophia1 @Peri @Starta @Former-Member @Owlunar 

Thanks for the post just now @Shaz51 .  It prompted me to provide an update to all you good people who have so kindly supported me with caring and helpful advice since my last post.

Its been another eventful and difficult week for me in my carers role. And in my personal MH unfortunately, though I should leave that to my LE thread for another time.  

My brother and his wife is going through a really difficult time right now.  They are still grieving the loss of their baby daughter. As I suppose, we all are.  Added to the family distress, last Tuesday was the birth date of their other daughter Emma.  She would have turned 15yo had she not died in a car accident when she was only 11. Its always a triggering time for my brothers PTSD, and understandably so.  I've been on the phone to him several times over the past week, and he's clearly deeply troubled.  I just hope he doesnt go down the line of lapsing into suicidal thoughts again.  I need to keep a close ear out for any signs in that regard I think. I know he is no longer seeing his psych on a regular basis.  I did make the suggestion that it could be a good time to check in with them.   

My Mum has been very unwell last week.  She was nauseous and in a lot of pain on Thursday when I rang her. No apetite and no desire to prepare meals for herself or my Dad. I encouraged her to phone for an appointment to see her GP.  She told me she couldnt because it was Sunday.  Urg!!!  I assured her it was in fact Thursday and it would be a really good idea to phone now.  Thankfully she did, but her appointment is not until Wednesday.  Then on Friday she had what sounds like a nasty fall and is in even greater pain.  She said she pitched forward in their loungeroom and fell onto her head and shoulder. Thankfully there is carpet there, so a softer landing than otherwise. But she is battered and bruised as well as being made even more sore than she was before.  She has rheumatoid arthritis and fragile bones, so I hope the fall has not resulted in spinal refracturing. When I spoke to her this morning she sounded confused and vague.  I will be phoning her local meals on wheels and other home support people (cleaner) tomorrow to see what I can arrange.  I think all I can really do in that regard is to ask them to phone her.  See how I go.

Hubby has been on strong pain killers which his GP provided last Tuesday.  Enough to last the one week until his anticipated hospitalisation on Wednesday.  It helps with the degree of pain he's in.  Trouble is, he is now thinking its all fixed.  But it is of course merely hiding the symptoms of what ails him.  I'll be phoning the city hospital again tomorrow to try to get some sort of surety about Wednesdays admission.  That will hopefully enable me to secure some accommodation for myself.  Hubby sleeps most of the day, looks very pale and ill, is vague and confused all the time and his eyes look kind of glassy and vacant. Its a big concern. Need him in hospital to get to the bottom of whats wrong and to devise an effective treatment plan!

PS:   I'm still feeling angry, powerless and hopeless. 😠:angry_face_with_horns:

Sherry 🤗💕

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜🌺 @Former-Member ...

[Shaz51]

yes @Former-Member 

you have had a big week indeed, waiting is never easy

feeling lots for your brother and wife and you at this time , very sad and sending you all tender hugs , yes S3 partner was carrying triplets and at 26th week one had passed away and since they were all together , they all soon passed away

sorry to hear your mum is unwell , hopefully the cleaner or the meals on wheels lady might get her to go to the hospital earlier , xxx

PS: I'm still feeling angry, powerless and hopeless.--- very very understandable emotions there @Former-Member  and I have my fingers crossed for you and Mr sherry

[Ali11]

It sounds like you have had a huge week @Former-Member. I can't even imagine what your brother is going through right now, pointing him in the direction to talk to someone now is a great idea, are you able to recommend it to him?

Hope your mum is able to get the medical help that she needs, is it possible for her to go to the hospital due to her fall?

Keeping those fingers crossed for Mr Sherry ahead of Wednesday. 

Are you looking after yourself too? Don't forget to carve out a couple of mins to have a cuppa, take a breather and re-centre yourself. Our thoughts are with you. 

[Former-Member]

Is it all systems go for tomorrow @Former-Member ?

[outlander]

thinking of you @Former-Member
not sure why i didnt get a notification for here though? maybe when there was the glitch happening..