Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

It is tough @Kreagor

Is Mr K amenable to doing a mood chart? Has been helpful with us.

I probably concern myself more about depression as Mr D has had more trouble with that and noticed that normal emotions such as a bit of sadness had me worried he was on a downward spiral, but he has been marking steady on his chart, a bit down at the minute as in a lot of pain and is due for surgery as a result of a complication from an attempt injury (was due to happen next week but delayed as surgeon wants to discuss further with colleagues). As far as his mood goes he is in many ways coping heaps better, time will tell if my gut feeling is right but am hoping he will lift post surgery one pain relief occurs (assuming all goes well).

As I have learned and am starting to practice self care I am finding I am getting better at responding in a healthier way for both of us.

If mood steady, study might be a good thing to give Mr K something to do and keep his mind occupied.

Take care
Darcy

[Former-Member]

@Kreagor

Hope you are going ok.

How did Mr K go with his denervation? Has it helped?

Darcy

[Kreagor]

@Former-Member
Denervation is done, but he'll need to work now on eliminating the "stiffness" in his neck through physio exercise and some remedial massage.
I will mention the mood chart, they encouraged that in hospital as with most, normal life is taking over, with loads increasing on his behalf (though no paid work) but he feels that his thought processes are different now.. the need to do 'now' has subsided somewhat. Also his tremor has diminished a bit which has made him feel alot better.
Work has ramped up for me... Tourist season has started - not alot of down time, though we are taking a mini break shortly.
How are you getting on? I find that spring always lifts my spirits 🤗

[Former-Member]

Would love a mini break, we have been talking about it and I suspect it might be the way to go, holidays seem to stress Mr D out. Find at times I cannot concentrate on work, got some tips from psychologist on that. It has been nearly 2 years of tapering crisis meds and I am finally feeling I am not on 24/7 suicide watch.

Mood chart - Mr D will do if I print off, mark meds etc, he only does the mood bit, if I didn't organise, he would not do it. Was reminded of it after listening to this talk - the best I have listened to so far on bipolar (posted this and another in the what's new tab).



Bipolar - Preventing relapse

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mdopKvBqNA

[Former-Member]

Hi @Kreagor
How are you going, have you been on your mini break?

[Kreagor]

Had a relaxing time thanks @Former-Member - things still quiet, he's not very sociable (but then, neither am I really). Life is settling into a pattern, Christmas will be interesting. I have noticed that there isn't a giant 'to do' list or any manic behaviour which tends to emerge this time of year (like moving house, climbing a mountain or conquering a sea). Christmas might be relaxing, who knows ? I hope things are well with you.

[Former-Member]

Before and after @Kreagor ...
Things steady here, Mr D had surgery, pain meds causing havoc but things appear to have gone well surgically.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Kreagor
Quick check in.

[Kreagor]

Hi @Former-Member
I'm super busy with work with the lead up to Christmas. But, so far, Mr K hasn't done his usual pre Christmas rush 🙂 so we aren't moving mountains, house or some other kind of mammoth task. It's nice, although he has pushed to go 'away' over my busiest time (new years) I've agreed to go away for a couple of days after Xmas, but back for new years... I need to be here for that.
His 50th birthday was very quiet, he didn't want to have a 'party' but I can understand that, I wouldn't want one either.
Oh I watched an advert for 'love actually' that Xmas movie they show every year. It triggers bad feelings for me (weird) when Emma Thompson realises the gift wasn't for her... I still feel 'second best' I guess, deep down - I don't know how to fix that 🙁 I worry that I won't be able to fix it.
I hope you are well and that your lead up to Christmas is going well. Thanks for checking in on me, I appreciate it 🙂

[Former-Member]

Hi @Kreagor

I really feel that any response I give you will be far from adequate as I know that broken trust is super hard, I think of it as a chain link that has been broken and welded back together - the knobbly repair defect is a reminder of what happened. I have read that following these things that a relationship can survive but but usually only if the patient commits to appropriate management of their MI.   I know as the carer and the one wounded that it takes ongoing forgiveness and compassion on our part.  Living grief ...

D