I'm in a nest

[Former-Member]

Oh my heart just broke at the thought of your poor dog. 🙁 And my head exploded with anger at those awful nurses. 😕 I’m really sorry you went through that, @Phoenix_Rising. 🙁 And I’m sorry you’re in the same situation with your cat. There is an animal rescue in my area that does a lot of community work and I think if I approached them, some sort of ‘in emergencies’ plan could be organised. But that would require me to have the confidence to approach them and right now that is beyond me. Maybe there is a similar organisation near you? I’m scared to get help in the public mental health system because I worry they’ll hospitalise me and I won’t be able to get Edie to boarding. 🙁

[CheerBear]

Evening in the nest.

I was so wiped out from the early start and going to the shop that all I could manage was lying on the lounge until school pick up this afternoon. Annoying, exhausting whatever is going on :face_with_rolling_eyes:. I feel a little better this evening though and haven't needed the inhaler as much so I am hoping it is moving on. I feel like I have done nothing at all this week which is so frustrating, but plan to get to something in the morning with the LF. Bed for me very soon.

I will definitely check out the Kmart catalogue @Phoenix_Rising, though I am somewhat familiar with the unicorn collection there already 😁 I think the world would be a whole lot better if everyone had a unicorn stress ball 😉 . I so wish we could play make things like glitter jars and squeezy balls together - I think we would have lots of fun.

Speaking of unicorns, something cool happened today, which was probably the highlight of my day (not as awesome as changing the world but still cool). I had to brave the big shops to get groceries today and while I was there I went see if I could check off a want for a few weeks from now. On a hope list is a unicorn (we share the love here). I found a soft fluffy unicorn pillow pet with pink tulle and she is scented in fairy floss smell (it's like all the good in the world wrapped in one fluffy bundle) 😮. They had run out of bags, which I was not at all disappointed by as it meant I then carried a LF's soon-to-be new pet unicorn through the supermarket trip that followed. It reminded me of you and your turtle carrying. Adding to the goodness of the trip that really was anything but good, was that I took a guess that you may like the Lumineers @Former-Member, and was listening to Stubborn Love on repeat (the strings in that one ❤!) the whole time too. I get my music from Spotify which is one of my huge big thankful-fors. I will listen to some of those you wrote about - thanks for sharing 😊

I am so, so glad you are here in Forumland @Former-Member, for so many reasons. One of them is the big heart feels you give out so often. Hearing about your alone-ness re Edie-cat (and in general), reminded me of the emergency contact thing from Phoenix_Rising. It makes me feel so sad, and also so thankful that although our people have dwindled and are more away than I would like, a few very important ones are still there. I am sorry you are both so alone 🙁 I felt so angry and sad thinking about you and your M Phoenix_Rising.

Glad the phone appointment went ok enough and you didn't have to do 5 hours in the car for it. I like the "at this point" comment that went with staying in Vic. I have to resort to "at this point" a lot. Things are not ideal, and it isn't ideal that you can't cross the water easily, but maybe it isn't forever. It still sucks though. Maybe a plan of attack will help with some of that uncertainty and other things might feel more manageable then.

I totally get the wanting to help in a practical way thing. The only way I can be here and not crumble at the helpless feelings that can come from really wanting to actually be there with people, is to remember how big time helpful I find it to have people here. It's so much enough. You being here is so enough, so appreciated and so helpful. I really feel like you get it too and that is soul healing stuff.

Thank you for sharing you with us bookish. You are great just as you are. I know it doesn't feel like it for you, but we see it.

Night nest. Hope the night has some peace for anyone reading ☺

[Phoenix_Rising]

I am super glad to hear you are feeling a little bit better this evening @CheerBear. I super hope you feel a LOT better in the morning.

I super love the thought of you walking through the shops with a unicorn. Did you feel like everyone was looking at you? If you wander around with a soft toy often enough, you get over that. 

The being totally alone in the world thing is definitely tricky.  I received the intake form from the peanut practice manager today. On the form I need to list a next of kin. Hopefully they will cope with the fact that I don't have one. Otherwise, I may have to list CheerBear c/o Forum Land. 

@Former-Member I have heard of services that are particularly focused on supporting people with mental health issues regarding their pets. It has been on my to-do list for ages to suss them out. It is definitely a big issue. Once when the police were dragging me out of my unit, M ran out the door. I kept asking the police to just let me put him back inside, but they threw me in the back of the police truck. I was totally hysterical. Thankfully one of my neighbours was able to get M and assure me he was safely locked in my unit before I got taken to the hospital. Another time, M was barking and carrying on when the police stormed into the unit and they threatened to shoot him. He was a 7kg terrier! And people wonder why I don't "reach out for support" and why the phrase "to help keep you safe" is a major trigger for me.

[Former-Member]

I am so so sorry, @Phoenix_Rising. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good morning in the nest. 

@Former-Member I am assuming you mean you are sorry that those adventures happened to M and me. Yep, it super sucks. M and I had a LOT of adventures together and I still miss him oh-so-much more than five years after he crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I don't identify as either a "cat person" or a "dog person" - I am just an all-round animal nut. I'm surprised I've gone this long without getting another dog. I think about it sometimes, but then I realise I don't want another dog, I just want M. 

I know I would be far more concerned about a dog if I got dragged off to hospital, than I am about my young and healthy cat, S. I know I'll never get locked up in a psych ward for more than a few days and I know S would cope with that, even if he wasn't super happy about it. During that horrendous time that I described, I had my two cats C and P as well, but it was M who I knew would be in strife if no one got there. It really is a very big issue. 

[ohanais]

Hello everyone in the nest @CheerBear @Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member 💕

I hope you are feeling better @CheerBear xx

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good evening in the nest,

It is super nice to see you here in the nest @ohanais.

@CheerBear and @Former-Member I have missed you both today. However, I know that you, like me, are here even when you're not. I hope there has been some good in your day. 

I finished reading the next bit of the DBT manual @CheerBear so I will start writing about that tomorrow. I will DEFINITELY be ready to post SOMETHING on Monday. 

I am also super excited to report that Operation de-muddle has commenced. It is going to take a while, but I feel so good knowing that it will be de-muddled in time. I trust that I may not be the only forumite getting some support to de-muddle after THAT night, which will no doubt go down in Forum Land history. Given that that day was the first anniversary of the passing of my cat, C, you can be sure I will remember the date forever more! I wonder what we will all be doing when the anniversary of the Tsunami comes around next year. Methinks that all will be well - because all is well, even when it really really isn't. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear I seem to have momentarily misplaced my not-friend. It's ok, because I know she is here even when she's not. I'm a little concerned because she has been sick and I'm wondering if she has had to go to the bear hospital so that the doctors can chase the bugs out of her tummy. Oh well, I will just wait patiently until she comes back...even though she hasn't really gone...cos she is here even when she's not. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear Wow, that was quick! Good job me for not catastrophising that CheerBear had gone away forever never to return. 

[CheerBear]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising. Right now I am practicing lots of skills and I am glad there is a huge book of them to try that maybe I haven't tried yet as plays into the "won't give up until I have tried everything", thing. There is still so much to try. I am looking forward to reading your next post. I woke up when the time started with a T again today and think it may be time to start hunting for a "how-to-sleep-in-a-solid-block-of-more-than-a-couple-of-hours" skill that I might not have tried yet :face_with_rolling_eyes:

I'm also glad operation de-muddle is underway. It is comforting see that gut feelings about things being able to be worked through, appear to be the case. I might not remember that date exactly, but I will remember that night and the days that followed, for a while.

Phoenix_Rising, I had a very hard afternoon yesterday and evening last night (which involved ugly letters about what's wrong with me and why, meeting with an unexpected housing bus, that has crashed with a tricky anniversary day today on the back of being pretty unwell for the last little bit - too much maybe). I am struggling with this week that seems to have not stopped testing me. I'm trying to work out what I can do today to feel better about everything. I didn't want to wave what may look like a red disappearing-from-the-forum flag in front of you, so I am coming past to say that, as you know, I am here even when I am not and that like you I (somewhere deep inside) believe all will be well even when it is maybe isn't right now.

Are you at your volunteering gig today? If so, I hope it's a good day for you. @Former-Member - if you do head off on your driving adventure, I hope it is ok for you. @ohanais so good to have you back. I just read that you are in hospital and am sorry to hear how hard things are for you at the moment.

Hi to anyone else who may be reading. I hope there is something ok or better in the day for all today.