Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

[Sakurapuss]

@Phoenix_Rising wow so that’s where I’ve been going wrong! The government’s comments don’t surprise me though. They are my employer and the HR section told me that my MI was literally in my head and if I changed my way of thinking then I wouldn’t have any problems as I was the one creating them. Sure i’m going to start thinking I have superpowers and take over the world. Like that’s going to happen

[Adge]

I've got Womping rats in my roof (& maybe in the walls).

It's driving me nuts, with the noise they're making in the middle of the night.

It's goto be rats definitely womping, because mice don't make that much noise.

I've baited in the roof on a semi-regular basis, a few times a year - but either it doesn't wipe them all out, or else more come in to replace them.

The walls are hollow, & they've definitely found a way of getting into the walls - because I hear them in there.

No it's not possums, we never have possums in the suburbs here (only rats & mice). Possums are only way out in the bush, or in the hills.

I just now climbed up inside the roof & put fresh bait up there. I hope it works, this is ridiculous.

Not to mention how much damage those rats can cause with chewing power cables, etc...

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[Sans911]

I fee so small right now. So insignificant. Like a tiny dot that could be so easily erased. Vanished without a tiny trace. I've lost all care of myself. Once high functioning, productive and living a reasonable life. Now reduced to nothing. I am no one. My heart bleeds with the losses I've brought upon myself. It is I who has caused this insignificance. I can no longer be proud if myself. I have failed on every single level. Yet I breathe in and out, forced by the biology of my own cells. I continue to exist even when I longer wish to. There is no joy in this darkened room. The silence compounds my isolation and emptiness. I cannot bear to see the light of a new day. It only brings more sadness and despair that I continue to breathe.

[Former-Member]

I've got nothing to worry about. I've got a good hubby, two children, a house and a stable income. I shouldn't have anything to worry about. I have got it so much better than other people. People like you don't get depression. Gee, thanks for telling me what you really think and trying to understand me. I will never worry you again. I will just keep my mouth shut from now on. I won't reach out for help and understanding again.

[Sakurapuss]

Maybe it’s a snake. I had a snake in my roof which fixed my rat problem. I guess snakes are a down side of keeping chickens.

[Adge]

I'm still dealing with a rat problem - I hope I get rid of them soon, before they cause more damage.

The sound of them running inside the wall at night is waking me up, & is sooo frustrating...

I'm so much better at stating my needs & with being assertive (these days), my psychologist says.

Yet despite that, I very often feel like I'm being treated like a walking doormat.

I gently but firmly state my position - eg "I cannot drive there from the city by that time - I will be there 30 minutes later than that".

Then the response often is (was) completely ignoring what I just said - "So you will be there at that time then?"

No, I just said that I cannot be there by that time (it's not possible) - yet I was not heard or acknowledged.

Someone once said that it's like wearing a sign on your back that says "Ignore me, I'm a doormat", or "Disrespect me" (it's fine to do that)...

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[Former-Member]

I can't stop the memories invading my head. Its been like that since early this morning and nothing seems to help. They are like a cruel horror movie replaying again and again in my mind. The thoughts have been so intrusive today and tonight that I don't know if I can control them anymore. If I control them, then it is hell, but if I let them overpower me than I am free of the pain of the memories. 

[Former-Member]

everything is just so hard. im so tired. im never going to be ok or normal, never going to fit anywhere, most people seem to just ... dislike me. not hatred, or open hositlity i just either dont exist or am slightly annoying or better avoided. i dont know whats wrong with me and its unfixable.

[Maggie]

How I wish I could end this journey right now. I don't think I can possibly try any more/harder. Why am I such an abomination??? Everywhere????

[Sans911]

I've tried so, so many pathetic times, but I am weak and a coward because I want the easy, non voilent way out of this pain. And I can't bear it any longer, I'm so very tired and broken down. So I give up. Whatever will be, whatever my fate, I surrender to it. I am spent. I cannot fight anymore, and the child inside cries tears that will never be wiped away.