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NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

Good on you @Change123

keep in touch my friend and one day at a time xoxo

How are you today

there is other friends here that might need help with rage

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

Hi @Shaz51@PeppiPatty

Work wise rage is contained and mostly in general now.

Yesterday I had to have day off work as needing to sort out some family stuff on my partners side (mother going into nursing home) that was a very long, emotionally and physcially draining day, have only had 5 hours sleep as she lives a couple of hours away. Probably shouldnt be a twork at th emoment, can tell brain not functioning correct with lack of sleep and getting through a very tough day full of triggers but I made it.

Wont post much today, need to try and focus at work - think I will go to sleep when I get home.

Thanks for all your support! Smiley Happy

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

@PeppiPatty@Shaz51

well that didnt last long!

I'm ok but bubbling over a bit, mainly because I'm so tired so I know I'm fragile and trying not to react about some things. ie. (employees and cash reimbursements).  The get reimbursed for cash they use of their own and it is SUPPOSED to be every pay fortnight.  The owner didnt end up doing it on break up day so that pissed off employess so they were all gathering they would get it today.  BUT NO she has decided to have a day off- at first I was really pissed off and starting to get very agro but then I thought - I have no control over this and employees know that so if she decides not to do it, like now there is nothing I can do.  The employees are getting upset but I have just spoken to the ops manager who is paying out of his own pocket for some of them  but I'm calm now as I thought.  Its not my problem even though we reached a bit of a solution (ops manager paying) I cant control this so there is no point gettin gupset over it. Employees are still pissed off over the principal of the matter and keep whinging to me but I have shut myself off from it as I cant do anything about it so there is no point getting upset over it.  See that little bit of venting just got it out of my system and I'm good except for tired. I'm learning to realise that there is no point getting upset over the wrongs the owners do to the employees if I have no control over it ,otherwise it just eats me away and I'm determined not to let this place get to me like before!Smiley Happy

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

Dear @Change123

How are you ?

My computer hasnt been working well for over 2 weeks.... the wifi has been down where I live.....

It feel like you need to change your behaviour over your work. What I mean is : 

Looking at your own shortcomings and developing them. 

Dear @Change123... I have many shortcomings. 1. My really really hard working brother is favoured by My mum and I'm still jealous over it because she so dissmissess me but... I'v been mean to my brother and I'm almost 50 years OLD!!

I'm a victim. I wouldnt be stuck on all this blo.... meds if x happened and x did this......

I feel angry I'm stuck with Mr husband but.....forget the amazing huge joy and brilliant gifts he gives me every day. He cant help it that he is so dependent on me and here I am complaining, being MEAN. I'm so ashamed. 

The list goes on. 

I'm sure that your already about to growl at me and send me to the naughty corner for five minutes. 

What are yours ? You write this : 

 Its not my problem even though we reached a bit of a solution (ops manager paying) I cant control this so there is no point gettin gupset over it.

And it's true, it is'nt your problem but how can YOU grow from it without crushing yourself? How can you use this to your advantage and learn how to be creative in a stressful situation? 

I am so ashamed about my attitude to my husband that I have decided to to needlework and FEEL the needle stab in the material as I sew embroidery on it......feel REmorse AND be kind to him. He's confused, scared and doesnt need a crazy wifey grawling away that I need to drive him to the hospital AGAIN to pick his medication up. 

 

r thing:Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

another thing : 

Lets edit your message:

 I'm so tired & I'm fragile and trying not to react.

ie. (employees and cash reimbursements).

The owner didnt end up doing it on break up day so that pissed off employess so they were all gathering they would get it today. Employer had the day off when she was supposed to pay funds.....

Feel aggressive, Feel ANGRY.

BUT I have no control over this. 

I have just spoken to the ops manager who is paying out of his own pocket for some of them  but I'm calm now as I thought.  Its not my problem even though we reached a bit of a solution (ops manager paying)

 Employees are still pissed off over the principal of the matter and keep whinging to me

but I have shut myself off from it as I cant do anything about it so there is no point getting upset over it.  

See that little bit of venting just got it out of my system and I'm good except for tired. I'm learning to realise that there is no point getting upset over the wrongs the owners do to the employees if I have no control over it ,otherwise it just eats me away and I'm determined not to let this place get to me like before!Smiley Happy

 
 
 

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

Hello @Change123 xx

How are you today my friend

sending you hugs HeartHeart

you said ---I'm learning to realise that there is no point getting upset , true @Change123 and it makes it worse when we are tired and you have also had a big day -- it takes it out of us my friend

are you working on the weekend ??

remember you can talk to us anytime

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

Hi @PeppiPatty @Shaz51

I'm ok and totally understand what you are saying @PeppiPatty but I'm not stressing over work anymore have much bigger things to deal with and feel I'm handling myself quite well (see post on emotional disciplines).  I'm faced dealing with someone who is narcassistic and definitely has BPD traits.  This is quite surreal as I'm getting the behavior that I probably put onto other people so while its a bit of a trigger it is also making me realise how much I dont want to be like this.

Anyway see my post in "our wellbeing on emotional disciplines".

I'm getting my chance to show support for my partner and help him through a very difficult time which I am determined to do correctly!

Smiley Happy

no @PeppiPatty you are not in the naughty corner - we all need criticism to grow and learn it just depends on how it is delivered and you did it good!

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

dear @Change123

Your partner is important...you are right. 

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

Hello @Change123

how are you tonight my friend ??

Re: NEED HELP WITH RAGE!

@Shaz51

I'm good, not sure if you read my other post but we are basically dealing with selling my mother inlaws house as she is going into a nursing home.  Still has her smarts but has had a fall.  The siblings are causing loads of drama and saying hurtful things to my partner and me which he got cleared up with his mum last night who is furious about what has been said to the both of us.  Its been a very emotional week and since his mum is about 5 hours away it makes it hard and we have been travelling back and forth the last week.

Anyway  I feel better but for some reason (maybe because I'm tired and irritable) a little angry not raging. Last night the owner started playing some games with me about something just before I left so I am a bit angry this morning.  In the meantime I'm going to try another tactic.  This experience with my partners family is making me think more about stuff and my family (so many similarities) and one thing these people thrive on is an emotional reaction.  So when I get my performance review very soon or if she says something nasty I will show no emotion and not comment.  There is no point to try and justify myself to people like this, I'm learning that so I will not give them the satisfaction of a response.  I know I'm a good worker and good HR Manager. 

Also I find now that if I do get angry it subsides quickly as I dont want to endure that feeling so I'm learning to let it go Smiley Happy

 

 

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