Hi All. I am hoping to get some relief from my feelings. My original post on this thread was about the affects of family. The oldest sister and oldest in the family doesn't like me (she told our mother so). She sent me despicable text messages all day when my 2nd oldest sister and I had had a disagreement about something, which was not a big deal, and I certainly did not say anything mean, but she cried to my oldest sister. This prompted my oldest sister to send me text messages all day which were despicable - out to destroy - just so vicious. I do not even have phone contact with this sister and had not seen her for a number of years. It caused me alot of pain when it happended but I buried it when she came home from W.A. - to be honest I only did that for my mothers sake, but I had not forgiven her, and not sure I ever could. She told me that I was responsible for another sisters suicide because she didn't want to come home to see mum because coming home to see mum was a package deal, and I came with the deal because I live close to mum and spent alot of time with my mum. She said many really cruel things and given that I do not have contact with her and her outburst was totally unprovoked, I can only put her hatred for me down to jealously, but I also believe that she has had big issues with her son who seems to have lost his way and is not doing well in life. I know that her hatred for me belongs to her and they are her issues, but I can't seem to feel free of the pain it has caused me - I am thinking of it obsessively and feel really angry, and it has placed me in a depressed state. All this because my sister I argued with speaks very inappropriately around my son, which I do not like, and I tried to tell her so. I have distanced myself and my son from her because the incident escalated to her screaming and calling me an effin s..t at the top of her lungs outside, crying hysterically. She is really damaged from an emotionally abusive relationship she was in for a long time and left 6 months ago. She is very hostile, angry, and very difficult to be around, but when she put her hands on my son (he is only 12), in an aggressive manner and called him names, that was the last straw. She clearly has mental health issues, which I already knew before the outburst because she has been treating our elderly mother really badly, which I had never known her to do. Now the 2 sisters have banded together, as the other sister doesn't even concern herself with the details because she would never support me anyway, and the more pain she can inflict on me the better. I feel so sad. I need support to get through - the depression that I have experienced is the worst I have ever felt, and to be honest it has scared me to feel that way. I now know what my deceased sister was referring to when she talked about the chatter in her head - I never understood what she meant and now I know I am experiencing what she was talking about. It is horrible........... any input would be welcomed. Thanks for reading.
