Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi @Saffy

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You wrote: 

I'm new! I'm a carer for my partner when she has episodes of mental illness. She doesn't have a clear diagnosis, but she suffers from some psychotic symptoms and depression.

I work full time in a busy job and have been quite overwhelmed lately with having to take time off work to care for my partner and then getting more and more behind in my paid work.

I just wanted to reach out here and learn to access some more resources for carers. It's become clear that my partner's illness isn't go away in a hurry and although she is able to work and function in the between times, I have to accept that I have a caring role. So, I'm hoping to find some support and camaraderie here

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So much of what you wrote is what I have experienced.  It has been a long road for me and my partner (hubby of 33 years aka Mr Darcy).  I work to support us, my work have been understanding and not discriminatory in any way but Mr D's crisis of 3 1/2 years has affected my work and I am only just starting to feel that I am getting back into things and it does worry me as there are a lot of changes at my work and worry about the security of my job.

Saffy, the main difference between us is that it took me far too long to realise that I needed to adopt the caring role,   What started as being OCD and anxiety deteriorated to psychosis, mania, depression and suicide attempts.

Once I took on the role and got much needed advice from one of the docs to "look things up" things started to take a turn for the better in that with the present treatment psychosis and suicidal ideations seem to be absent.   I realised that Mr D had been in no state to give a decent history and I put together as best I could a treatment history - list of all his interventions - drugs, therapy. ect, responses to treatment, hospitalisations. presentations to ED etc. etc. It probably needs summarising now (I listed all scripts collected as I wanted to prove compliance).  I had never heard of things such as hypomania (esp antidepressant induced hypomania), emotional dysregulation and the like.    

We have had 15 years of mental illness all up, 6 of things worsening, 2 really bad years and 18 months of slow recovery from an acute episode.  I am hoping an appointment this week will give clarity to his diagnosis as I was able to really add to the history with information received from discharge summaries.

I would really encourage you to attend pdoc appts with your partner - not sure how it works in the private system but in the public system there are obligations to carers,  If your partner is willing, becoming their enduring guardian in relation to health is really helpful.  Familiarise yourself with your states mental health act, understand psychosis as well as possible loss of insight.  As per the podcast I sent through, document any changes.

Even though it is looking probable that  bipolar ii (with ocd, gad and personality disorder nos) might be the final diagnosis for Mr D, I found really good information on Sz websites as well as BP ones -  have posted some of these in the "whats new" tab, these include loss of insight and carer grief @Shaz51 has put through some good carer tips in the "looking after ourselves" tab.

Sorry, my thoughts are a little all over the place at the minute, hope this makes sense to you. If you would like to ask me anything, please feel free.

Darcy

[Former-Member]

How are you going @Saffy

[Former-Member]

@Sahara

You wrote in another thread

"The professionals have to practice 'evidence based medicine'. This means they have to treat you with methods that have been proven statistically to work. (Whether these methods work for you personally is open to debate.)"

Would you be so kind as to explain what you mean by this?

Darcy

[Sahara]

Hi @Former-Member,

firstly, I would like to say that I can advise you only as a friend- I am not a professional and my opinions are only that- opinions.

You might ask several different people about this and get several different answers. 

What I mean to say is that different people react differently to different treatments. What works for one person may not work for another. 

However, trained, registered professionals are bound to supply you with treatments that have been proven to work in scientific studies. That is why you will not see a registered psychologist waving a dead fish over the top of a patient and singing a chant!  

However, if you go to unregistered faith healer of some type- you may well get the old dead fish treatment.  

Treatments that have been scientifically proven to work may not work for any one single particular person that tries them..... they could even have an adverse effect, for example, you may be allergic to a certain psychiatric drug. 

Or an antidepressant medication may actually increase anxiety, in some individuals.

Does this make sense?

So while treating doctors make desisions based on scientific evidence, there is still some trial and error involved. 

[Former-Member]

Thank you for clarifying @Sahara  

(I was not sure if you were indicating that at times evidence based medicine might not be appropriate but the doctors were bound to provide it despite thinking an alternative treatment would be better)

[Sahara]

@Former-Member, in my uneducated experience, doctors pretty much never recommend alternative treatments. They may well ask you if you are seeing an alternative practicioner or if you are taking any so-called 'suppliments' to get an idea of where you are at.

Some herbal remedies interact with psychiatric drugs and are considered a big no-no. Doctors sometimes get frustrated with patients who attempt to treat themselves with alternative therapies, although they do appreciate the time and effort that these people put in to it.

Doctors generally really appreciate it (in my experience) when someone does some independent research into their condition and offers some kind of opinion on it. So the treatment process then becomes a two-way street. The doctor is no longer just talking at the patient wondering if that person has any real understanding of what is going on.... or even of they are interested!

Believe me, some people are not interested in their illness and never ask questions or take the docotrs' advice seriously. I am thinking of my Mum here! She was a shocker. (She had a physical illness.) All my Mum was willing to do was take pills... she did not even know what they were really for. 

My Dad is not all that much better, now that he is sick. He asks me the same questions about his health over and over again, but will never ask his doctor.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Sahara
I am now a researcher. Mr Darcy who I care for, like your mum has no idea and it took me a long time to realise this. He just wants to be better.