Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hooray @Appleblossom

[Former-Member]

So relate to that @Applle, hi Natalie & all. BusyBusy, so many forms & ends & ends to tie off.

[Owlunar]

You really do have a lot to do right now @Former-Member - make sure you take breaks to give yourself and your back a break from time to time

I just thought - one thing about the rest of the family being unhelpful is that you can make the choices yourself to suit yourself as best you can - I know making decisions is hard but at least you don't have to fight with the others any more than usual

Yay @Appleblossom

Two clean patches of carpet - I have cleaned on of the shelves in my wall unit and that was a bigger job than it sounds - now I have done that one the rest will be easier

Dec

[Former-Member]

Making slow progress on my mountain of papers which includes recipes, books, scholarly articles, brochures from events we have been to and more.  Have put a lot in the fire starting basket, have some ready for eventual filing - still working on categories  - now need to be intentional about dealing with the unsorted stuff and handling it once, not just shuffling it which is what I have previously done.

[Smc]

@Former-Member, we've got boxes of "semi sorted" papers. Ones which we've decided to keep, but haven't categorised. And I've found that if a "semi sorted" box has sat for too long, if I go through it again, another half gets tossed.

We've also got boxes of unsorted papers, from various times when we've needed a clear table but didn't have the time or energy to go through things. Those are kind of scary. You can usually date them by school notices and supermarket catalogues among them. "October 2015... what was happening then... oh, yeah, that's why I didn't get back to it...'

Yesterday, however, the unwanted papers from the table went straight out of the house and into the garden to act as path mulch. 😄 Little win, but a good one.

[Former-Member]

DEC SAID:
Hells Bells I know @Former-Member
I went past my old house yesterday and it's being done up again - really looks nice too - but I remember when it was run-down and needed a lot of work done and I refused to pay for the renovations so nothing was done to fix the place
And it was sold and done quickly - I wanted the property off my hands and the memories are hard ones - I remember packing and feeling a terrible despair - failure - that the marriage was gone and I never wanted that -
But I got tired fighting really - that had to stop - so I really didn't want to break my marriage vows but yes - I didn't have my aged parents in everything and my sibs were not involved with my decision -
But it was hard - it's like packing up memories of those things that can never be again and your daughter is mixed up in your packing - this was your family home and decision, decision and more decisions about your stuff -
And it's easy for me to say "get rid of it?" cause that's what we have to do and I was taking heaps of stuff to the op shop and the lady there who was someone from my church kept saying "You can't give that away" and it was making it harder.
So yes - I had to deal with my depression and faced moving and being alone and I had a really bad spell - I never thought of it as mental illness but it would be classed as that now - so yes - answering an earlier post of yours - I do know more about it than I am willing to say -
So a bit at a time and I know you don't want to go back to your old house and the memories - you have posted how bad things were at times - I get it
Could you not do this? Could you pay someone else to do it? I think this could be easier but what can I suggest? When you go to bed at night plan to sleep in - it might feel better in the morning and a late start might make it easier - on the other hand getting up and getting started is probably better
But it's going to be hard - I will be here for you as much as possible because I remember sitting on the floor wrapping plates in newspaper and putting them in cartons and hating it
Thinking of you all the time Lapses
Dec

[Former-Member]

Can't sleep, trying to psych up for the next big job. I don't wanna go back home, somewhat scared of how I"ll cope, and not just emotionally, my body, knees and back are PAIN just with the extra workload here thsometimes i'm in tears. causing many problems.

And the SI is back a bit, 'just quit, nobody needs you anymore, you don't have to take it anymore... And it just feels like I'm gonna die soon anyway. Doesn't anyone else get that?
And How am I gonna empty house?

Thinking I just gotta
PACK EVERYTHING...
1. Definately Keep Box
2. Maybe Keep Boz
3. Charity Box
4. Rubbish
God's gonna have to help me.

@Owlunar, you have vast life experience and much to offer here, thank you.

[Determined]

@Former-Member will pray that you can find the physical and emotional strength to get through the coming weeks. 

[Smc]

@Former-Member, I keep reminding myself that God holds on to me tighter than I can hold on to him. Y'know the story of Jesus calming the storm... one thing about that which struck me a few years ago was that afterwards he asked the disciples "Why were you afraid? Do you have so little faith?". He knew they were safe, when they didn't, so much so that he fell asleep in the middle of the storm. I keep reminding myself when the "storms" seem too big, and it's like they're going to totally swamp me, that he expected them to safely ride out the storm. Stopping it was Plan B. It's not up to us, because if it was up to our strength alone, hey, I wouldn't have gotten this far. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Smc @Former-Member ...... ❤️