Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[classycase]

Libra, 

Thank you for your response. 

OMG - My stomach turned when I read this because of its similarity: "when he is unwell, he gets angry with me, telling me that it's about time I be a proper mother and start helping him more, re: housing, finance etc."    My son tells me horrible stuff that he claims I did throughout his life.  Examples: He insists that I tried to bite his neck, that his dad "held a cellphone to my neck", that I "told him he was a contestant".... lots of bizarre stuff, but VERY much the whole I owe him routine.  He tells me because I put him in a mental hospital that the least I can do it take care of him.... he thinks he caught something at the first mental hospital. UGh. 

He is also violent toward my husband (his stepfather).  He has tried to fight my husband more times than I can count.  The police have actually told my husband how to choke out my son, which my husband did once and to this very day, my son thinks my husband tried to murder him.  That is used frequently against me.  ugh  Strangely enough, he also becomes a racits in his episodes.

The bio-dad is very close in proximity, but very emotionally unavailable and can't deal with anything difficult, which only makes it worse for our son. 

I have not heard from my son in 2 days.  Perhaps he has checked himself into a mental hospital. Time will tell.  He has been admitted 7 times.  Generally they release him between 14-21 days... although, now that he is on state insurance it is easier for them to keep him because there is not a private pay insurance company trying to get him out as soon as he gets admitted. 

I also often ask myself when something good is going to happen!

Keep your chin up.  🙂

[Dadcaringalone]

I am going to try and be optimistic but sometimes it’s really tough. I am taking care of my 24 year old son alone who is suffering from pretty severe schizophrenia. He has built up a type of resistance to his Meds which he has been taking for the past few years. Apparently his frontal lobe still fights through the antipsychotics! He has just returned home from a very long admission in hospital and I have been left to take care of him myself. I have to do absolutely everything for him. My wife is overseas and I’m also taking care of my adult daughter who has severe depression. My days are spend with driving both of them around and literally “walking on egg-shells” the entire day. His first really bad suicide attempt resulted in me being arrested by the Police for restraining my son from killing himself following command hallucinations. The most recent hospital visit resulted from a sharp object related suicide attempt. I am convinced that my son has a type of subconscious tormentor manifested in his auditory, visual and more recently taste of blood hallucinations, which is triggered as a type of addictive escape during times of extreme stress. We are trying to keep him away from his triggers.  I have practiced mindfulness meditation for the past 30 years and my enlightened Buddhist monk guru says I excel in managing my emotions but I want to share these skills with my son. He is now exploring more alternative approaches to deal with his illness. Has anyone had an positive experiences with taking alternative approach to dealing with the schizophrenia of a loved one? He forgot to take his medication last night and today was a pretty volatile walk on the egg shells all day. When he’s good he’s amazing and during his recent hospital visit he memorized the algorithms to solve every rubix cube we could find him.  Any experiences with alternative approaches that may work for my son??

[Shaz51]

Hello @Dadcaringalone, @Barbara, @classycase, @Libra, @Jasminej

Hello and welcome @Dadcaringalone to the forum

@Former-Member, @Grasshopper3, @Faith-and-Hope, @greenpea, @Former-Member

[Shaz51]

Hello @classycase , sending you hugs and seeing how you and your son are going today 

@Libra

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringaline and thank you @Shaz51 for tagging me into the conversation.I have a son 25 this year who has shizophrenia, autism, epilepsy and mild intellectual disability.  For my son taking his meds regularly have been the key although the voices are still there regardless and I have been told they always will be.

Exercise, long walks and lots of distractions help. Lots of sleep and positive social interactions are good at keeping the voices at bay.

I have bipolar and schizoaffective disorder and find that again taking meds regularly plus  walking and keeping busy and with sleep help enormously to keep me in a positive mood and to keep me 'voice' free.

I hope this helps a little bit. Wishing you all the best. greenpea 🙂

[Dadcaringalone]

Dear greenpea, thanks for your very helpful responses. Greatly appreciated. We also manage the voices thru regular long active walks, staying active and focus on “moving forward” (sorry that’s a quote from Forrest Gump).
Just have a couple of questions, if that’s ok:
1. How do you manage the mood component of your schizoaffective disorder? I find this particularly difficult to handle.
2. Which schizoaffective groups in Sydney would you suggest my son joins for social engagement with young people who understand schizoaffective disorders? His recent hospitalization was triggered by a breakup and a type of mental health bullying from my son’s group of friends who found him too full-on. He now is isolated trying to recover with me and my daughter because there is no one else who loves him unconditionally. His work is not prepared to re-employ him until he has the all clear from an occupational therapist.
3. Is there any other tricks you have for keeping your voices at bay and getting through a whole day of not breaking any egg shells?

Thanks again for your kind advice. I feel these illnesses are completely miunderstood and as suffers and carers its our roles to shine the light on the unique contribution we can all make to this little planet of ours. My son’s favourite movie is a beautiful mind....

[Zam]

Hey @Dadcaringalone

i read your post earlier and at first i wasnt enitially going to reply due to not being a carer myself but as i read it again, i kept going over the part where you said alternative approaches to help with his illness, so i assume you mean the hallucinations and voices?

i myself am diagnosed with schizophrenia and have gone through years of different medications and all sorts of activities to help deal with symptoms and when you go on a medication that helps combat symptoms it can be great but in my experience it never got rid of voices or at times hallucinations.. Going for walks and exercising while sounds good, could be a nightmare due to the possible side effects of the medication and that being no energy at all.

I asked about your sons interests and was curious if he likes video games? 

they work great for me during the worst of times with voices and hallucinations because i am focussing my mind completely on a video game. It is all a bit easier to ignore when you can completely concentrate on something else.

Anyway im sure this isnt much help but it is just another perspective i guess.. 

i do hope things get easier for you and your family

[Dadcaringalone]

Zam, that’s exactly what I was after! Thanks. Recently he got a Nintendo Switch which seems to be perfect because it keeps his full attention away from the hallucinations and voices. He’s particularly into the Fifa 2018 with the World Cup currently in full swing. Got a few docks so he can easily plug and play whichever room and TV he is in and we can exchange rooms when tensions arise and he can play out voices and hallucinations. 

Have you tried converting your home to a smart home, with Google Home, Chrome cast, Phillips Hue etc? This has taken on a life of its own at our place and he has a google AI voice to give his own commands to! Thought you might be interested in giving  it a try...my son seems to find it a great activity to combat symptoms!

[classycase]

Hello Shaz51.  Things are ok at the moment, thank you.  My son finally checked himself into the hosptial on 6-13-18.  He is currently still in there.  He was "voluntary" until 6-30-18 at which time they did the 5150, which turned into a 5250.  He will, again, come live with me upon his release.  I am hopeful things will go well. 

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringalone

1. How do you manage the mood component of your schizoaffective disorder? I find this particularly difficult to handle.  Mood component is so hard isn't it. medication. I never give up on trying new medications and upping or lowering the meds.

The important thing I have found is to be honest with the psychiatrist and to take the medication perscribed even though I would prefer to be drug free. I know if I were drug free I would be back in hospital with worse symptoms than what I have now. In fact my psychiatrist said that to me the more times off the meds and then subsequent hospital admissions the worse the outcome. So I am taking her advice very seriously and staying on the medications.

2. Which schizoaffective groups in Sydney would you suggest my son joins for social engagement with young people who understand schizoaffective disorders? His recent hospitalization was triggered by a breakup and a type of mental health bullying from my son’s group of friends who found him too full-on. He now is isolated trying to recover with me and my daughter because there is no one else who loves him unconditionally. His work is not prepared to re-employ him until he has the all clear from an occupational therapist.

I would start looking at NDIS for help with this. I will tag @eth into this conversation as she has a thread going about her NDIS journey. I think it could be very useful for you to get the help you need for your son to be more active in his community. Get him into clubs and gaining more friendships. Plus if you could get some funding it would help you as a carer giving you a break to either help your daughter out more or just have some 'me' time for yourself

3. Is there any other tricks you have for keeping your voices at bay and getting through a whole day of not breaking any egg shells?

Yes and this was hard for me no alcohol. Goes without saying no drugs.  All of this is harder for a younger person but living a totally healthy lifestyle is paramount I believe in getting better. Your son sounds very intelligent  and you are obviously a fantastic father tag me anytime to talk using the @greenpea I would love to be able to help wherever I can.

PS: I also have a daughter with chronic depression so if you want to talk re that I am also here 🙂

Love greenpea