A long rave

[CheerBear]

Thanks @TAB. I have a tendency to push myself until I crash and burn. I dont want to and don't think I really need to do that so much right now.

Big hugs @Shaz51. Are you able to put your feet up and/or do something nice for yourself this afternoon?

[Sans911]

Hey @outlander

Feeling any better today?

[TAB]

Yes sometimes opportunities can be tempting but self number1 is best @CheerBear

[eth]

Hi @Mazarita @CheerBear @TAB @outlander @Sans911 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @Sophia1 and anyone else around this evening.

@Mazarita @CheerBear  The first EMDR session happened today.  I held little techy things in each hand that pulsed while I focussed and then psych asked me questions about times I felt calm or focussed in a positive way  and then about if I have a superhero fictional or in real life.  I think she's establishing base lines with me and positives we can return to when we get into the heavier stuff.  I was surprised what came out at first but it led into a really open discussion about lots of traditional and new age type things I'm into and how a certain person (close friend) inspires me.  I've never discussed this stuff with any of my therapists before, not ever, so it felt good to share that part of myself with her and trust her completely with this level of knowledge about me.   And acknowledge that there is a point where I get too far into esoteric stuff and rituals that indicates bipolar episode onset.

We also clocked that I've had a couple of happy days this week but am also sleeping much more eratically so I need to monitor closely in case I'm getting elevated again.  I'd really love to just be able to trust moments of joy and not fear hypomania onset when I'm feeling so good.

[Bunniekins]

@eth Hi eth that all sounds very interesting. Wish I could have been there to watch it. It is great that you could feel that level of trust in her, it is so important. I am going for my first psych meeting on Friday and am very nervous. I dunno what to expect. Wont be drivig as I will be too nervous will take a cab. Argh! the things we have to do.

[eth]

Hi @Bunniekins  I hope the appointment goes really well and gives you hope.  Good idea taking a taxi - you will be free to think about the session afterwards, not having to also concentrate on driving.

Today my CoS took me to and from my psychologist ap't and it was so much better without the anxiety that using Shebah was causing me.  Plus afterwards I could just feel my feels and not have to put on a mask just to get home.

Are you seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist?

[Bunniekins]

@eth psychologist. My pdoc suggested I go as I have these repressed memories which are coming out at I need to deal with them otherwise they will swamp me.

[eth]

Hi @Teej  how are you travelling tonight?

[eth]

@Bunniekins Very sorry to hear you are going through that.  It still happens to me too.  I really hope you get someone that you can trust and have a very open rapport with.  You are brave giving it a go.  You've got this!

[Bunniekins]

@eth eth I am very nervous about all of this to be so honest and yet if I don't it is like a weight in my chest or it floats to the back of my mind and I forget it until something triggers it again ... I wish you were going to be there with the pea 😞