A long rave

[Mazarita]

Hi @eth, I'm awake, wondering if you are up already. Hoping of course that you got sleep instead. ox

[eth]

Hi @Mazarita  I'm up now if you are still around.

[Mazarita]

Cool, @eth, we meet again. How are you? 

[eth]

Ok so far @Mazarita.  I went through all the symptoms of a tummy and cold virus last night as soon as I lay down so I'm pleased it didn't turn into something overnight.  Got a bit over 6 hours sleep in total.

How has your night been?

[Mazarita]

@eth, I've enjoyed being up all night, doing some video, net wandering, up and down from the computer. 

[eth]

Hopefully you'll get some sleep @Mazarita or else you're going to need an all dayer in the next couple of days - always seems that all nighters hit me the 2nd day after and I need to snooze on and off all day.

How's your video coming along?

Just have to go to the big house for a minute, BRB.

[Mazarita]

I had an all dayer today, @eth, well until 3pm. It was mostly sleeping, though I got dressed about 10am. Then just kind of crashed sideways across the bed and fell asleep there again. Mood was too painful to stay awake. Then it improved about 7pm. And I've been okay since then but not wanting to sleep. I'm not going to get too anxious about it, though I know these patterns I fall in and out of are out of whack. 

The video work I've been doing is really trying to find the next project, working on different possibilities, trying things out in the editing line. 

[eth]

It's no wonder you felt flat after the day you had on Wednesday @Mazarita.  I didn't mean to sound lik I was hassling you about sleep patterns - that would make me a total hypocrite.

Speaking of trying things out on the computer, this week I have finally gotten onto using Word for my stories.  So now I'll be easily able to share them with friends or submit them for publication in various places.  At this stage I can't see how they'll become a novel/novella, how I'll tie them together, but I'm enjoying being challenged by the exercises.

This week we have to get a character from a myth again but apply it to ourselves as the character, use our own story from our life.- I have an idea who I'm going to use, but once again have spent hours lost in various myths.  I really enjoy that.

[Mazarita]

That research sounds wonderful, @eth. It reminds me of times years ago when I went on truly fascinating net wanders, learning especially about culture and history. Also when I was younger, I used to go to the big city libraries a lot and take copious notes on subjects of interest. I don't remember a fraction of what I learned but I'm sure it enriched me. Cool that you are onto Word. 

The 'guilt' I feel about being up all night is my own voice telling me I'm wrong and bad to be doing it. My psychologist and I talked quite a bit last session about these inner voices (my own) that are very harsh. 'You really give yourself a caning', is the way my psychologist worded it. I had to agree, though I don't think I express much of that here. It's more a private thing when I'm on my own with myself.

[eth]

@Mazarita negative self-talk is a challenge for me too.  I think the first step in changing it is to start at least recognizing when we are doing it.  There are CBT exercises we can do to change it once more aware of it happening.  But there is also the possibility that you simply are more of a nocturnal person.  Clock schmock!!  It's just a concept our culture imposes on us really.  That's why I usually look at total sleep over 24 hours to see if I'm getting enough, not just the sleep at conventional hours.  Sometimes it's good for us to go with our own flow, not challenge ourselves or should on ourselves about it, thus adding to anxiety etc.  That's my 2 bobs worth anyhow.