A long rave

[Former-Member]

Streaming the love and courage back to you Mazy

@Mazarita

[outlander]

Good morning everyone here ❤

Ive started a thread called share the dignity
I think.most of you will know what that is
Id love to write some lovely msgs to these women and it would be great to have your suggestions too
Only of your up for ot though

[Appleblossom]

Thank you for the well wishes.

Its been an incredibly busy week. Fixing the car will be painfully expensive, but has to be done.  I am minimising dependence on it for a while, but still feel I should provide a car at some level for family.

I walked to train and went into Carlton to lunch with new friends yesterday,  It was much warmer out then than today.

My lawyer called re Child Sexual Assault.  It is a whole new ball game thinking in that way, but it puts a lot in perspective for me.

My GP was lovely and we were both glad that she activated the CATT team for me.  Another doctor in the surgery was nice and called me by name.  I see the pdoc tomorrow, a psychologist the day after and then CATT team will call again Fri  night.

There have been 3 separate couples visiting in the CATT team and I went into the clinic and saw a consultant. Each one focussed on something different.  All food for thought. Today my son went to an appointment which was probably a good thing.  I dont need to know all his details, just that that he is getting some decent face to face contact and support that is not me.  As mothers of sons can easliy do the Oedipal thing and I dont want that.

SO I do feel as if I am being heard in a constructive way.  I step at a time.

[Mazarita]

Warning: medical stuff.

After this morning's dentist appointment, I now have a big filled hole in my right back tooth on the bottom. It's the third time it's been refilled in about three years. The dentist said it would be best to pull out the old filling and replace it with a crown. But the public dentist doesn't do that, so it's more patch jobs, hopefully this one holds. The last one broke and left a gaping hole after me crunching on a corn flake. Lol. A cornflake is not that hard. Ah, but it's a relief to have a filled tooth, though there are four others with smaller holes in them. Today's appointment was an emergency once-off. My name hasn't come up again yet on the proper treatment list so the smaller holes have to wait. Mouth is sore tonight from the injection and from keeping my mouth cranked open for what seemed like ages. Does anyone else get a badly sore neck in those dental chairs?

Later today was my appointment with the surgeon. The examination wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it always makes me feel violated. She made an appointment for me with a gastroenterologist next week. She thinks I am having a Crohns flare up, and that it may need treatment. They want to do another scope under anaesthetic at the hospital and take a biopsy. Gulp, Crohns treatment. Having and being treated for this disease over my life has left mental and emotional scars. I was enjoying my relative remission, though even at the best of times, I have always had significant pain and other symptoms of disease since I first got this 37 years ago.

Feeling down and anxious tonight. Nothing planned for tomorrow except a beach walk. I may need to take it easy and recover from today.

[Mazarita]

Good morning, @eth. Wondering if you happen to be awake at this hour. Enjoy your sleep otherwise. 

[eth]

Hi @Mazarita  I'm here now if you still are.  Good morning.  I've been doodling around on YouTube since before your message and didn't see it til just now.

[eth]

Sorry I missed you @Mazarita

[eth]

Hya @Mazarita trust you've had more quality sleep since my last message.  How are you today?

Just read your long post about all the medical and dental stuff yesterday.  I feel for you.  

[Mazarita]

Hi @eth, good to see you. Very tired this morning, but not as weirded out and worried as I was yesterday. Taking everything slow today. How are you?

[eth]

I'm ok thanks @Mazarita.   Slept on and off from 7.30 last night til 3.30 this morning so just over 7 hours all up.  That's great for me.  

I hear you about the dental work.  Before I got the full dentures I had a few years of constant dental problems and treatment.  A lot of the damage and reason for loose teeth which eventually had to come out was from the assault in 2009.  So every time I was in the chair I'd be  dealing with PTSD whilst being worked on - simply awful.

And I'm sorry to hear about the Crohn's flare up and possible surgical treatment.  That must be an ordeal for you.