Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Determined]

Having a real estate assessment of our house on Monday. That may result in a couple of weeks of intensive decluttering and clean up if it is a positive report. It really is a bad time to be considering such things (emotionally but we have a potentially great opportunity so worth investigating. 

Not only will this put us closer to mum and dad in old age but they will be closer to us so able to support Darling more and allow me potentially get back into work much sooner. 

[Determined]

Can't help but wonder @Former-Member if Darlings current decent has something to do with me ramping up to go back to uni in a bit over a week. 

She kept texting me during a (skype) meeting the other day because she was worried about water levels. (Both tanks are full). Always seems to be worse when I am focused on stuff that is important to me. There were numerous phone calls while I was working during the week. 

[Former-Member]

 @Determined quite possible, then there is the grrrr question of how many med doses were missed too. So disheartening after initial good response. 

Saw your news on declutter thread - is the viewed property fairly local to where you are?

[Determined]

@Former-Member  fairly certain there were only 3 or 4 missed doses of meds. That's assuming she hasn't started binning them after I expressed my concern. 

The property we viewed is about 8km from where we currently are. That is 8km closer to town. I worked out this afternoon that it will save us ~300 km per week in travel.  It is in town so neighbors will be much closer that will take some getting used to but it is well screened by trees. 

[Former-Member]

I know even with meds things can still be bumpy @Determined. 

Quite a bit of potential for reduced travel time and vehicle expenses there Bro.    

[Determined]

@Former-Member  thinking there may be a hormonal element at the moment also with darlings mood.

Re the move- while the reduced travel will be a big plus the main reason for considering the move is to be closer to mum and dad as they get older. (Potentially keeping them out of aged care longer term). Even though they are only next door where we are now the place we are looking at they will under the same roof separated by the garage. Currently about 200m away. 

Mum in law has been looking for something like this for a while.  More important for dad at the moment with mums cancer diagnosis I think.  Long term it would be great for S1 to enable some independence.  

[Former-Member]

Sometimes I think the answers are obvious, sometimes not Bro and we just need to manage the best we can.

Wondered if MILs health was a reason for potential move. Does your darling have siblings @Determined?  

[Determined]

@Former-Member  Darling has 2 adopted brothers, both live in north Queensland. We are south QLD so not geographically close.  Regular contact with mum and dad by phone but we don't see them often. 

Currently sweating on property valuations, we will need to sell 2 (mum and dad and us) to buy 1. 

Quietly confident but need to know for sure.  Reduced travel costs will certinally offset the increased costs of living in town vs rural which will be significant. Mum is quite the practicle type, she has been looking for something like this even before she was ill just more so now that she is not able to keep on top of things the way she used to. Also Dad would struggle to adapt to being alone they have been married for 45+ years and mum saw her parents in care in their final years and wants to avoid that for as long as possible/ practicle. 

[Determined]

On a positive note, darling seems to have perked up today despite being anxious around uncertainty of the logistics around our current investigations. Something that can often make her dysfunctional.  She even got up early this morning to iron me a shirt for church and joined us. I was expecting her to stay home. Always grateful for the good days when they arrive and enjoy them while they last. 

She has even pointed out some maintenance items I need to address in a constructive manner. It always helps me with motivation when requests are delivered respectfully so grateful for that also and enjoying it while it lasts.  

[Determined]

Had a big positive moment with my darling yesterday 😍😀   She actually thanked me for everything I do for her and said how she appreciated it.  Can't explain how that softened my heart and lifted a weight off my shoulders.

We have made an offer on a property closer to town and were discussing everything that she was worried about and I was reassuring her that her mum and I had it under control.

For once she accepted that and seems to be putting a great deal of trust in me. Just hope I don't stuff it up. 

While I don't really want to move to town it will be less work and stress (in theory) for my darling and closer to her parents. For 2 way support. They help a lot with children and we can support them as they get older. Darling seems to appreciate that I am doing this for her. It is also a slightly bigger house so the boys would have a room each which is something that darling stresses about.  

Should know by the end of this week if our offer is accepted and we have to then try and sell our current house. 

Making big inroads into cleaning up that I have commented on in the declutter thread over on LE side.