Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[outlander]

Thanks @Former-Member
The backyards a pretty big job but im hoping that with help i can get a majority of it done in a day. I still need to empty the trailor at the tip when possible as thats the stuff from the cleanup out the front and the veranadahs.
Things are slowly getting done though . Slowly but surely

[outlander]

just moving this over to here, hope you dont mind.

it is really hard @Smc Im currently sitting in the lounge room listening to pop harp on about so many things and making me out to be a bad carer, im expecting a msg when they leave or them to 'talk' to me about how im not doing enough and this and that.I would probably classify for DSP at the rate (Anxiety, depression, BPD, C-PTSD along with chronic suicidal thoughts and just starting to get my sh under control myself. ) but i like working and study and trying to have a normal life too even though my life is far from normal for an average 22 yr old. i guess that makes me appear relatively normal and coping becasue i dont look depressed or have that usual stigmatised of dark and dreary sort of thing. I dont have the support of family, or friends, or many mh professionals, only the psychologist but limited to 10 sessions and the forum. It mightve been helpful if i had a freind or 2 not to talk about these things but jsut to go out for coffee but i dont make a very good friend.i use humour alot to but when im lower i barely can fake a smile.Sometimes i dont even feel like a 'real' carer, like my work doesnt seem like work to anyone else so it makes it hard to even say 'im a carer' or access carer support type of things.

[Smc]

Hi @outlander. The tag worked, I missed it in the notifications.

Given how thin on the ground support is for you, I'd suggest DSP would be worth trying for. It can be a bit of a full on process in itself, because Centrelink can be hard to convince. They have to be confident that the disability is both long term (3+ years at least) and prevents you from working or studying at anything over very part time hours. In your circumstances, I'd think part-time would possibly be all you could aim at anyway? There's officially a lot of encouragement for DSP recipients to study or work part time, but the payment isn't conditional on doing so.

I found the DSP decision hard to take when it came through, because I want to get my life off "pause" and start getting somewhere, but I had to admit that even if everything with my parents and our daughter resolved itself tomorrow, I'd probably still need the 3 years as recovery time. What I've found is that it does free me up both to take care of myself and to be a carer. When our Older Daughter went in for surgery on Thursday, she was at the hospital all day. Pension meant that there was enough money to pay for a proper sit down lunch for myself and Hubby, an afternoon cuppa at the hospital cafeteria, and a takeaway dinner to eat with our Younger Daughter. These are little things in the scheme of it all, but it does reduce the stress somewhat.

I find myself kinda stumped for friends to have relax time with too. Often my Hubby and my sister are it. Sometimes the best friends for carers are other carers who can take the "Hot Chocolate" thread attitude- you can mention if you've had a bad day but unless you want to go off somewhere to talk about it, you don't have to say anything more. So am wondering if there's a young carers group of any sort in your area? I'd definitely encourage you to look into carer support of some sort.

[Shaz51]

@outlander

 did you family or anyone  said anything to you about yesterday  , or say anything about stepping in or giving you advice of any kind ??

[outlander]

hi @Shaz51
no, no ones said anything to me as yet. they probably wont but will continue with their judgemental looks any time i see them

[outlander]

hey @Smc
while DSP looks enticing i dont think its something i want to go on. i actually like and want to study and things and in a sense i am capable. ive already got a small second job to get me out of the house even if its not much. i dont really have time for another part time job with pop, the horses, the smaller job and other family responsibilities . I get paid from the government for carers so at least that is better than no pay at all....

i dont have anyone to relax with, even with family its all roles and responsibilities i honestly feel like im missing out on alot but if i was to give up my carers role and start a life i wouldnt even know where to start because being that carer or role taker etc has been way of life for as long as i can remember. it also makes me very socially awkward to be around becasue i struggle to comminucate with people.

i speak to headspace every now and then when i can get sessions but not really involving my work as a carer,there just seems to be so many issues that i barely no where to start with them either.

[Smc]

@outlander, if you're getting carers' pension then that's fine. 🙂

So your really big thing by the sound of it is needing to find the right place to talk about what you need, instead of always focusing on what others needs?

[outlander]

Theres that and actually working out what it is that i need @Smc and also working through what is currently happening here with him and how to help pop as well as myself. Sorry thats a little vague but i cant quite talk abou that part here

[Smc]

Is OK @outlander if there's things you need to keep confidential. 🙂

[outlander]

Thanks @Smc it sucks sometimes cause u guys would probably be able to help 😞

Hows your day been?
Im currently awaiting to see if anything in my foots broken