Not coping

[Ali11]

Glad to hear you're doing ok @Sheila, hope you're enjoying your weekend (and anyone else passing through today)  

[Gibby69]

I’m ok, not great, but ok.

My 19 had a breakdown a week ago, my 15 yr old rang the police and the police placed an AVO on my 19 yr old. It’s a big mess. We’ve been advised to appeal the AVO because of her mental health, which is proving difficult and expensive. I also think she is going to be fired from her job for being unreliable. So I’m waiting for that hammer to drop any moment. 

The hardest thing for me is that I’m constantly in a state of panic. Every time the phone rings I start to shake. I just want to hide. Which isn’t helpful for my children. 

Does it get easier? 

[Ali11]

Oh @Gibby69, that does sound like an eventful past week! How are you doing this weekend, have you set aside time to do something for yourself? Self care is so important when others around us are in a state of disarray. Things will get easier, take it day by day and just start writing down things you need to get done or want to do during the day, then slowly work through those things one at a time. We've found it helpful to tackle the smaller things on the list first, then you get a sense of accomplishment and it motivates you to keep moving 

[Sheila]

Hi @Gibby69 ,

I often wonder if things will get better. Things with my son seem to be a little calmer at the moment, so I have been able to breathe. But am always bracing myself for what may come. So, I don't know the answer to your question. IT sounds like you have it really tough. Thinking of you, and hope things are improving. 

[Doris76]

@Gibby69 I don’t understand completely what you are going through but your situation is very similar to mine. My 18y daughter has had mental health problems all of her live and we now think that she may have developed BPD which scares me. She is rude and obnoxious to everyone around her and says the most awful things to me. She is the victim and won’t accept help. She doesn’t leave the house, she can’t (or won’t) talk to people. She can’t (or won’t) function in society. She wants to die, she wants to go to hospital and be sedated. I work full time, I am exhausted and running on empty. I have made a psycologist appointment for myself for a couple of weeks but other than that I feel completely alone and lost 

[Sheila]

Hi @Doris76 ,

I am so sorry you and your daughter are going through this! 

I understand how draining it is caring for a young adult suffering from mental health problems. .It often seems they take it out on us. It is especially difficult when they wont accept or seek professional help. Its not how we pictured motherhood to be is it!?   Watching our child practically self distruct in front of us. 

Lots of people on here talk about self care. Its great thst you have made an appointment for yourself..When things were quite acute with my son, I found seeing a psychologist quite helpful. I hope it helps you. Thinking of you.   

[Sheila]

Hi @Doris76 ,

thinking of you. 

Sheila