Diary of wifes hospital stay - holding it together for our family

[Former-Member]

@Determined, when faced with uncertainty, I know what it is like:

To feel afraid
To feel alone
To long to be held
To ask what if
To wonder, am I strong enough?
Too tired to cry
Too tired to rest

Holding you tight, so tight Bro, shedding tears for you, but holding on to hope, defiant hope, for you and your darling, for S1, S2 and S3.

[Determined]

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@soul wrote:

All those admissions and trips! That's an enormous physical and emotional load to bear. How long is she staying in for or don't you know at this stage? Do what you think is best for everyone concerned. Are phone calls permitted whenever or are they limited?

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Have been told so many diffrent versions @soul, thought this admission was going to be minimum 5 weeks but as it stands at the moment it will be  3 weeks and reviews after that, if darling requires further treatments it will be a further 2 weeks then another review. Problem is they are sugar coating it for her (by my perception) and I am being excluded from all of the discussions so I really dont know. 

Re phone calls, i usually only phone at night so as not to disturb her rest or whatever program she may be in, she phones me whenever though and I text her through the day.  She usually phones in the morning to say good morning to us all. The boys look forward to that. 

[soul]

So much confusion! That must be so frustrating. I really can't believe that you are left out of what is going on. Is that normal?

[Determined]

Thank you so much @Former-Member, appreciate your thoughts, I know you have concerns off your own at the moment also.  Trust all is well as can be for you and mr Darcy. 

[Determined]

It has been normal for me @soul 

And current doc is so much better than the last, at least he will take my phone calls and listen to my concerns, last doc resented any of my input or concerns. I really dont understand my lack of inclusion but dont have the energy to fight it, if I say too much it upsets my darling also so between a rock and  a hard place as the saying goes.  My darling does say some pretty thoughtless things about ne and my insecurities though which wouldnt help, she cant see it t she makes me look like a real d#$@ sometimes. (That is the bpd and unbalanced view on reality talking though not my darling, any decent mh profession should be able to recognise that. 

[soul]

Wow - so much crap to deal with. An improvement on past experiences but by no stretch ideal yet. I hope there aren't any more obstructions for you to deal with.
Now - try to get some rest. If you need to talk, I'm here.

[Determined]

Well I got a couple hours rest in last night. Wide awake now so may as well try and get some work done. Have a meeting with the lecturer this morning to go over progress on my report. Skipping class but he is ok with that.

Have a meeting at the school also this morning to discuss S2 and my expectations for his support. Have spoken to head of primary on the phone and confident it will go ok. Seemed supportive of our situation on the phone. 

Niw for some work before little people wake up. 😒😫😴😯

[Determined]

Just been talking to my darling on the phone, was feeling ok until she was called in to see the anesthetiest, feeling really anxious all of a sudden 😞   

Darling seems to be ok, it was good and helpful for here that she was able to talk to me.
I would have liked to be there and sit with her beforehand but the dr wouldn't allow it.
My mum as able to sit with me when I recently went for a simple procedure and that was in a public hospital so I don't understand what the issue is, one would think that if there was something that was going to make the patient calmer and more relaxed they would be happy to accommodate. especially as anxiety is a big issue in this situation 😞

[soul]

A new day @Determined. Onwards and upwards.

[soul]

Just remember @Determined