Topic Tuesday // Caring for the women in your life (daughter, sister, partner, mother) // 22 Aug, 7pm AEST

[NikNik]

Welcome to Topic Tuesday. During this session we will be discussing caring for the women in our lives:  Our daughters, sisters, partner, mothers and friends.

We've talked in the past about how to be an effective carer and how to look after yourself while in that role.  This time we'd like to focus on the impact of being a carer has on your relationship and how to protect it.

We will be looking at issues like:

• How the carer role has changed your relationship

• Finding a balance between being a carer while maintaining the relationship as a parent /partner / brother / sister / friend

• Ways you've found to step out of the carer role and 'just' be Mum, sister, partner etc

Join us from 7pm AEST to share your own experiences, ask questions and chat to others who are in a similar situation.

Two things you can do now

1) Hit the 'Like' button below to get an email reminder on the night

2) Read our blog on 'Protecting a relationship when caring for someone'

[Former-Member]

Good evening everyone

And hello to @Nirgal, @ShellbyMay, @Brie, @soul, @Shaz51, @YTT, @human and @Determined who registered for tonight. 

Welcome to tonights Topic Tuesday.  Last month we delved a little more deeply into mens mental health and related carer issues.  So tonight we switch the focus to caring for the women in our lives.  Whether they be our partners, daughters, mothers, sisters or friends.

We're particularly interested in how we can do that while still maintaining some of the relationship that existed before your role shifted into that of a Carer.

Have any of you managed to do that?  To step out of your roles at times and just enjoy eachother?  What are the challenges?  And what are the strategies that have worked for you?

I'm keen to hear your thoughts and experiences.

[Former-Member]

Our wonderful content producer Jeremy interviewed a few carers in this situation and created a blog which has some relatable experiences and great ideas.

You can find it here:  https://www.sane.org/the-sane-blog/caring-for-others/protecting-a-relationship-when-caring-for-someo...

I really like this quote:

"Be respectful regardless of the circumstances.  That includes giving my partner space, time to heal and showing respect for his fight. Stigma has no place in our home, family or friendship groups.  Hold a space of compassion​ and love."

It's wise advice but I would imagine that there are times when it's not an easy thing to do.  That idea of respect for the work your loved one is putting in to their health and recovery is key though.  It would make it easier to keep caring.  That's certainly the case in my relationship.

How about yours?

[Determined]

Good evening @Former-Member + everyone 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Determined, I hoped you'd stop by as this topic seems like something you can relate to!

BTW I was a bit slow to allow replies.  So sorry to anyone trying to respond.

[Shaz51]

hello @Determined, @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Shaz51

[Determined]

Hoping to at least get a few good tips tonight @Former-Member as I am a bit lost with it all at the moment 😔  Can certinally relate though as it is quite relevant at the moment. 

[Former-Member]

I haven't been able to follow your situation very closely @Determined althougth I know that you're caring for your wife and she's quite unstable at times. 

Can you give me an example of one of the things you're struggling with in relation to being her carer and husband?  I think it can help to give the conversation an anchor so it isn't just broad generalisations.

[Former-Member]

Even though you're not in the position of caring for a female @Shaz51, I reckon you'd have some useful thoughts on this topic.  Your husbands health certainly has an impact on you at times.  And you're combining not just carer and partner but also colleagues since you work together.

Have you found ways to separate out these different roles?  Or doesn't it work that way for you?