Lived Experience Forum

[Misty86]

Hey everyone!

Only new here and don't really know where to start 

I guess by saying I'm not okay.

Start of may this year my dad was diagnosed as terminal. (Knew something was right when he takes himself to hospital). Mum and I were lucky enough to get hospital accommodation due to distance from home. Spent around 2 wks there.

Then home for palliative care, because those were his wishes ( also not to be taken back to hospital)

After a hard and brave battle he sadly passed mid June.

Sorry if I am rambling. Just feels nice to get it out.

Now around 2 months later mum is now getting radiation. Very very positive outcomes.

I don't think I know how to deal with this kind of grief. What's right and wrong how I should feel or act.

I have been with mum almost the whole time. Been home to my house max 9 days.

When I'm back at parents I really do nothing. Get up for few hours, go back to bed then get up to prepare dinner.

It is normal for me to nap. But I've had zero motivation for anything lately. (Diagnosed depression, anxiety and ADHD). That is my warning sign to start reaching out.

I don't know where or how to start getting back to 'normality'. Any hints, tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Misty86 . I'm sorry you're not OK, and for your grief. 

Can I ask if you have any professional support, like a counsellor / psychologist / psychiatrist / meds? 

A counsellor would be able to help you with grief and depression. 

You can also call the SANE helpline for advice on 1800 18 72 63. 

Also, a handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification of your reply. 

All the best.

[Misty86]

@NatureLover  😁😁

I'm currently taking antidepressant. Have been for a few yrs now. Contacted my GP when we were caring for him at home. Only thing GP offered was increase current medication which I was against. Higher does completely numbs me so I wouldn't have been 'present'. Also makes me sick as a dog first few wks 

I was think councillor of some kind might me the way. Deal with the greif and help with a positive routine.

But not sure where to start looking. 

I find this way of communicating less stressful and allows me to be more open and honest.

[frog]

Hi @Misty86 welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry for your loss and how hard things are right now.

My mum passed earlier this year and it's a big thing to deal with.

If you're thinking about seeing a counsellor, your GP might be able to offer a starting point. You can get up to 10 Medicare supported sessions a year with a psychologist if you have a mental health plan and referral from your GP. This year it's 20 sessions due to COVID.

There is a lot of demand for psychologists at the moment so if you're considering it, it wouldn't hurt to get on some waiting lists.

My experience is that it can be hard to find a psych who's a good fit, but once you do it's an important part of the picture.

Take care

[cloudcore]

Hi @Misty86 ,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is complex and it's okay to not know how to feel or act. If you are interested in speaking to a counsellor, SANE has counsellors you can speak to on the phone or via webchat at the SANE Help Centre. They are available 10am-10pm.

What have you done in the past to cope or manage your depression, anxiety and ADHD?

from cloudcore

[Lost9]

Hi @Misty86,

I am so sorry for your loss and what you are struggling with now. I don't think there is any right nor wrong way to grieve. My thoughts are with you hoping you start to feel a little better in time.

lost9

[SmilingGecko]

Hi @Misty86 welcome to the forums! 

I have experienced lots of bereavement over my life losing many family members, friends and animals.

Apart from studying the grieving process the thing that helped me cope with it was using crystals and herbs.

The crystal I use for grief is "Apache`Tear"  

I never used to believe in crystals thinking they were the stuff of bohemians with wishful thinking, but was wrong.

Wish I had of got into crystals when I was much younger. Crystals use piezoelectricity to modulate your aura which effects changes on the physical, mental and emotional levels.

Apache` Tear will take the edge off the severity of grief enabling you to cope with its unpredicable nature.

My in-laws when their dog died used a sedative to cope but there are herbs that are naturally sedating such as schizandra berry tea which is what I used during my grieving processes.

My suggestion to you is to try and not make too many demands of yourself and allow it to move through you. 

It took me several years to get over the death of my father, so just be patient with yourself and allow things to just be

Hoping you can find more inner strength 

Much love to you

S.G xxoo

[NatureLover]

Hi @Misty86 , as @frog  said, if you make an appt with your GP and ask for a Mental Health Care Plan, that will entitle you to up to 10 subsidised sessions a year (20 during Covid) with a psychologist. The only thing is that you will probably have to wait a few months to get in to see the psychologist, as the system is pretty overwhelmed with demand at the moment. So the sooner you can get in to see the GP to get the referral, the better. 

To help the process along, you can google and then ring local psychologists and ask their office if they are taking new patients at the moment (a lot aren't). That way you can go in to your GP with a name /some names for the referral. 

Best of luck.