Lived Experience Forum

[SummerCharm]

I’m currently in a major depressive episode and really struggling. Ive had SI and my therapist is aware. I’m working full time and feel like a hospital stay could help but have had bad experiences in both public and private. I don’t want advice I think I just need some support I feel lost and alone. I just don’t know what to do.

[Jynx]

Hey @SummerCharm welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry that things are so hard for you right now, sounds like you're carrying quite a lot. 

There's a number of folks about who have experience in hospital stays and might have experiences to share. It is really tough to make that decision, especially when you've had crappy experiences in the past. 

We've got some tips & tricks for newbies if you wanted to have a read through. I hope you find this to be a warm n welcoming community 😊💜

[jazz]

hi there, just seeing how your travelling as I know you were struggling earlier

[SummerCharm]

I’m laying in bed deciding whether or not to go to work today. 

[Flotsam]

@SummerCharm It sounds like you need to take some time for yourself. I did not enjoy any of my hospital stays, even though I thought they would be good. I have decided they are not for me. I am working with my psychologist, and trying really hard to practise self care and being kind to myself. Honour what you are feeling and do what your mind / body needs. 

I hope you find some relief soon. 

[SummerCharm]

@Flotsam thank you. I’ve been working with a psychologist and my OT to try this but because I was never allowed to think of myself growing up it’s been really hard to put myself first as an adult. I always do things for my daughter and husband and everyone else. I’m just an afterthought. I have just finished up with one of the best psychologists I’ve had over the years because she’s leaving to work with kids only. I start with a new therapist next week and I’m terrified because I have never met her being at a different practice. 

[Flotsam]

@SummerCharm it is hard starting with someone new, needing to cover old ground again. Wondering if they will be right for you. Most psychologists are very kind empathetic people so you might be over estimating the threat. I do this all the time, it is a part of being ready incase it is bad. It robs me of a lot of happiness. My psyche says what is the worst that can happen, I can usually come up with something pretty bad, then she asks what will you do? So I have a plan if my fears come true. 

[MissMuffet]

Hi @SummerCharm 

Hope the rest of the week went ok for you.

I saw your comment about wondering whether or not to go to work. I hope you took the day off! If you don't go for the hospital stay, at the very least can you take a couple of weeks off work? Sounds like you need it.

Fingers crossed for a chill (despite the weather) weekend for you. Take care and try to do something nice for yourself!

[SummerCharm]

@MissMuffet  Thanks I did end up taking Wednesday off to see my GP and we decided that an admission would be the best option for me. I’m booked in for admission on Wednesday coming. I’m terrified about going but know I need to. I’m more scared about what I could do if I don’t go.

[MissMuffet]

@SummerCharm 

I'm glad you went to see your GP. 

Goodluck with the hospital stay 🙂 We'll be thinking of you x