Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

I am having a really hard time taking care of myself. I need to do the dishes, the washing, take the garbage out, clean my apartment amount other things. And I try and do something each day but it isn’t enough. The other major issue I am having is around my eating habits. I haven’t been eating well because cooking is too hard and I think I am becoming malnourished but I don’t know how to fix this all. Does anyone have any tips on how they manage everyday life stuff?

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @Eden1919 

Managing everyday life stuff and being an adult can be hard.. the best way to deal with it can be as soon as you see something, do it, then its done.  Cook a big batch of food and have it in the fridge, eat out of the container and just wash the container. 

Do you think you can manage what's going on at the moment or do you feel you need extra support?  Have you reached out to see if any supports are available to you?

[Peri]

Hi @Eden1919 ,

i get how you feel.  I really struggle some days. And there are still things I haven’t tackled.  

Decide what reallly gets you down, is it the dirty dishes, or the laundry or something else. Just pick one thing a day.  And if that is too much then pick something smaller and do that one thing.  Everything doesn’t have to be done in one day or even one week.  

As for food, once again, keep it simple.  Something that is easy to prepare, but tasty to eat and don’t make too much of it as that might put you off.

if you can’t face preparing food get in fruit, cold meat cheese and eat those. Drink plenty of water.  

I feel concerned for your well being.  Is there anyone who you can get a bit of support from?  Maybe just a phone call, or sit with you for a bit, see that you are eating enough.

But check in here I will be watching out for you and here to help

peri

[Arizona]

Hi @Eden1919 

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

Be kind and compassionate with yourself. 

Don't criticize yourself.

Forgive yourself.

Accept how things are.

If you're that bad, forget about the housework and just concentrate on things like having a shower, washing your hair, cleaning your teeth and getting and preparing food.

Do online shopping (or get someone else to do it for you).

Drink lots of water.

Try to be in the present moment. Ask yourself "What do I need right now?"

Take things one small step at a time.

[Arizona]

@Eden1919 

Can I suggest that you just do something nice for yourself? Something that is nurturing and comforting.

[Dimity]

Hello @Eden1919 I hear you,  you try to do something each day but it's not enough and you feel you get further behind. I often feel like that.

I'm trying lists, to set a routine. I'm setting up a 7 column table by days of the week.

How often do I need to shop? Once or twice a week? How often do I need to put on a load of washing? Then I pick a day and write it down. I treat it like an energy budget where I can limit what I aim for any given day. It's up to me whether I like a clean sink or prefer washing up in batches. But I think about it, and add it to the list. I also keep an ongoing shopping list so I can plan my food groups and make sure I have the ingredients to eat well. It gets easier as I just replace what I've used. That's the basics.  Other household chores can be added to my energy budget as needed and as my energy permits. Personal hygiene is a given. Walking or other outdoor exercise is something else I aspire to every day. 

I put my schedule on the fridge or some place I see it every day. It takes 6 weeks to form a habit but I'm not overambitious, I start small and add more as and when I can. 

For me it's still a work in progress. It's like meditation, success is in returning to it not in never failing. I've tried several versions now and am achieving small goals but want to do more. 

Could this approach work for you?

Dimity

[Owen45]

I have to force myself to take care of myself day by day, as no one else in my life to take care of me, unfortunately.

[wellwellwellnez]

I kind of have a suggestion. It's a thing I suggest sometimes. "Triune Mind" system.....

instincts >>>> emotions >>>> cognitions>>>>instincts......and so on.

So, do things if you want to feel better.

Love you're feelings to think clearer.

Learn things to get natural motivation.

[wellwellwellnez]

You echo my thoughts again @Owen45 . Self-care is great an all. It's so great but caring for and being cared for is....what can I say...the reason why we self-care in the first place.

I'm wondering if both or either of us (or anyone listening) would benefit from peer support or something. Therapy is great to. So great. But it's also clinical (if they're doing it right). Be good to somehow find someone that can oh...how do I say this......help me rebuild attachments in the real without frying them again.

I really appreciate the way @Owen45 just says it. It's brave. Makes me more honest with myself.

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @Eden1919 

We have not heard back from you in a while.. Just wanted to check-in and see how you are doing?