My Mosaic

[Bow]

That’s good @Ru-bee !

I’ve really struggled mentally staying in bed all week. Everything in me has been screaming to get up and get on the treadmill. Really having a tune into my health adult self and accept that I actually just need to rest. 
thankfully I’ve had a few things to do to keep myself busy and pass time.

[Bow]

I was only 12

when you snatched from me that which was mine

i dont know why you chose me 

I don’t know why you did what you did

you had everything to celebrate 

everything to be happy about

but that was still not enough 

maybe you just had to hurt me

you needed to make me hurt

I’d done something wrong

i deserve what you did

i deserved to be hurt

to be broken

forever

[tyme]

Hearing you @Bow .

Hugs

[Jynx]

Aww @Bow I'm sorry hun. It's a lot I know.

Wish I could stay and chat but I'm about to hop off. Also wanted to let you know I'm off on leave next week so I won't see you for a bit! So here's a pile of hugs, hopefully they last all week! 

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[Bow]

Oh poo @Jynx 

I’ll miss ya of course. Hmm wonder where ya going to???  

- Maybe the zoo? Feed the monkeys 

-the  ski fields? Do be careful. We don’t want any broken bones.

-oh another dance festival? Make sure you stay dry, it will be wet out there at the moment and you don’t want wet soggy socks. 
- your going to spend a week at Lego land? Build a bed out of Lego and then you have to stay in a glass box and see how long you can stay there for

-a nice long refreshing bush walk. Watch out for them leeches. Pack some salt! 
- ah dancing with the stars is starting this weekend, perhaps your gonna be a guest choreographer. You have epically cool dance moves. 
- your gonna attack your overgrown backyard

- razz and Trixie have said no more. No more work for you and are demanding you spend a week playing with them and giving with all the love. 
- you have a D&D tournament 

- Kmart have asked you to come in and design some new products

but in all seriousness, hope your time off is good and refreshing and nothing too serious, and if it is I sincerely apologies

And as usual I will be waiting here for your return with a knock to the ground type of squishy hug. 

[Bow]

I have literally sat in bed all day watching dance moms, preparing my bullet journal through to nearly the end of the year. 

my head hasn’t been good at all. Flashbacks I have zero control over makes my thoughts wander down a dark and scary path that I can’t stop. 

I did just get up and packed the car for market tomorrow. Oh gosh I hope it’s not too cold and wet. 

[Ru-bee]

This sounds really scary @Bow do you have anything that helps you to ground yourself when these flashbacks come?

The fact that you've been able to be productive at all right now speaks to how much strength you must have. 

What time do you need to be at the market to set up tomorrow?

[tyme]

Wow. You got a lot done @Bow . Good on you. 

btw, what's a bullet journal? How do you prepare it through to the end of the year?

hugs to you re the flashbacks. If you need a distraction, then so be it. 

I know often we talk about embracing and working through thoughts and feelings, but I'm mindful there are times when we just need a distraction to stay safe.

Is D going to the markets with you? How's your new car driving? Are you planning a long trip to Vic to visit legoland lol?

[Bow]

Got a couple of gadgets that sometimes help with grounding @Ru-bee  but wrapping myself up in my fluffy blanket today has been my go to cause I’m already in bed. 

need to be out there around 6:30-6:45 @Ru-bee  and it’s about a 20min drive. I’m tired now just thinking about how early I need to get up. 

[Ru-bee]

Fluffy blanket sounds spot on @Bow 

I'd be bringing it to the market with me too, if I had to be there that early