My Mosaic

[Bow]

Maybe a tiny bit @Ru-bee  it really threw me and has left me feeling really unsettled. Crawled into bed for the afternoon

[Bow]

So yeah it made an already difficult day worse but doesn’t matter don’t worry about it don’t worry about me

[Bow]

I’ve just had a dear friend who has also been diagnosed with an ED later in life, tell me that she made an attempt on her life earlier in the year and as a result her husband of so many years, has left her. I’m so sad for her. I’m sad for him too. They are both such lovely people. You just never know what people are dealing with behind closed doors. 😞

[AuntGlow]

Oh, this is so devastating to hear @Bow. You're right, we are all dealing with so many things that we don't speak about... life is hard. 

How are you feeling?

Big hugs. 🥰

[Bow]

Feeling sad @AuntGlow  ive shared a bit with her and want to be able to support her but I’m in no real place to do that. She is blaming herself for it all. But what do I say to that????

sigh

im tired. I really wanted to get to bed a bit earlier. I’ve felt super exhausted today. I even googled why am I so tired. Stupid eh. But I am. But the time I do the cats and kittens and get D into bed and then I was chatted with my friend for a bit. 

I also had a pretty unsettling incident earlier today that really threw me and a difficult gp appointment prior to that. And I have to be up and organised in the morning and out the door by 8:30.

im a bit overwhelmed 

[AuntGlow]

I am sure you are a really lovely energy for her right now, simply by being there. @Bow 🥰

It's so easy to blame ourselves, isn't it? Hmm... I wonder if you could let her know that people's reactions and behaviour are nearly always because of their own inner experience? And that she is not at fault and deserves love and support from the people closest to her? 💛

I ALWAYS Google why I am tired and flat and bleh. haha so not stupid at all!!

When have you noticed you've had a bit more energy lately? 

It sounds like it's all happening for you, lovely. I know you're managing a lot and it can be frustrating to be reminded of self-care when there's barely enough time to breathe... but are there maybe some boundaries you could set or extra support you could ask for right now? 

Will be here to chat more tomorrow. 🫶

[Bow]

I hope so @AuntGlow 

yeah very easy to blame ourselves for so much. She has told me that her husband has coped a lot of abuse from her over the years due to be undiagnosed and untreated mental health conditions. But sadly it’s been too much and even though she is diagnosed and treated now his hand enough. 

lately my energy seems to be sucked out of me all the time unfortunately. Maybe sometimes in the afternoon I might have a bit more of a spark…. But not always. Yesterday I sat on the couch at 4:30pm and I could have truly just gone and crawled into bed. You know the over tired exhausted I could cry kind of feeling. Yep that’s me most of the time. 

I seen my pdoc this morning. Told him. I guess I had kinda hoped he might have been able to do something about it. Nope. Nothing. No changes. Grrr 

I’m gonna drag myself downstairs and figure out something to do. Not sure what yet. 2 big markets this weekend. Hopefully I have enough stock to keep me going. 

how’s your day?

[Snowie]

@Bow 💗💗

[Bow]

Hi @Snowie  how are you?

[Snowie]

Hi @Bow 

Not sure if you are still around. Got lost in a jigsaw puzzle!

Had psych today. Now tired.

How is your day going?