Lived Experience Forum

[Anxious_Mumma]

So I don't know what is going on.

im angry all the time, tired, disinterested in everything. Struggling to not yell at my kids (lockdown and homeschooling isn't helping).

I just want to crawl into a corner and stay there. I don't want to eat, having a hard time sleeping amd work is hard.

[Snowie]

Hi @Anxious_Mumma 

Firstly welcome to the Sane Forums. I hope you find some support here.

I totally understand where you are coming from. Am in lockdown myself with two kids doing home schooling. It is hard, frustrating, tiring and just plain hard. I can understand too just wanting to crawl into a corner and stay there until this is all over.

You will find people here who understand and can support you through this difficult time.

Am happy to talk to you.

Snowie

[wellwellwellnez]

I have that corner. I negotiated, sacrificed and advocated for that corner. I defend its relevance and its significance. Having a corner mean you can come out of the corner. Not having it is still having it. Just taking it with you everywhere you go (and corners are sharp and pointy).

This is why every religion carves out corners in it's prescribed lifestyle. Corners are sacred. Part of how we fit together.

Imagine a boxer who never returned to their corner. That would be kind of a funny thing to watch (kind of).

[Anxious_Mumma]

But no one allows me to have that corner. I'm a mum of young children so on call 24/7. I work, my husband appears to be invisible to the children, he ignores the housework and I have to do it. He would just rather play his Xbox and chat to other women online.

I just feel like there is nothing of me left. I have no me time

[Jynx]

Hi @Anxious_Mumma , welcome to the forums. I'm Jynx, one of the moderators, just coming to welcome you and offer a bit of support 

Lockdowns have been really hard, and I think they can be more impactful on our mental health than we realise. It's okay to be over it, it's okay to be struggling to keep your head above water, it's okay to find your emotions are a bit more intense than usual. Or a lot more... 

I'm glad you've come to share a bit of it in this space! We're all here to support you. Do you have much other mental health support in your life at the moment?

[Anxious_Mumma]

Thank you ❤️

I don't have any other support, can't afford a therapist and meds just turn me into a mindless zombie. 

my family live an hour from me and can't visit them anyway

[Jynx]

Oh that's rough! Isolation makes it so much harder. Are you in an area where a mental health care plan doesn't get you a full rebate or is the MHCP something you can't access?

Yeah meds aren't for everyone, but it can be frustrating to feel like the stuff that ought to help just... doesn't.  

If accessing mental health support is hard, you could always give the Help Centre a buzz - they aren't open on weekends but Mon-Fri, 10am-10pm you can call 1800 18 7263 to speak to a counsellor (or visit that link to book a call or contact via chat or email). We welcome folks to call as often as they need to, especially when it's hard to access other forms of MH care. 

When was the last time you gave yourself some time to do something fun, or something just for you? I hear you have so much on your plate right now so it might be a real struggle to carve out that time, but I've found for myself it's more important than ever in these times

[TFS29]

Hello

I understand your position and can hear that you are struggling to keep your head above water and feeling powerless. I have been there.

I am finding that lockdown is magnifying the 'issues in family relationships that I could easily ignore before. Im concerned that your partner is ignoring his role as a dad and is talking to other women?? I think it is perfectly acceptable that you negotiate an hour of 'you' time a day (or whatever you need) so you can clear your head, stop thinking and JUST BREATHE. My children are now adults. I am separated from my husband and I have never felt less anxiety! My advice would be to take small steps. What do you need immediately? time? space? pure silence? What is unsatisfactory and you need to deal with later? Can you plan for a better life or negotiate this with your partner? Will he discuss it with you? (maybe his Xbox controllers go missing until you have this discussion? 🙂 Either way, it sounds like he is being selfish and you need to look after you first. HAppy to chat further with you, I know how you feel all too well. Hang in there, you're stronger than you know x