I'm in a nest

[CheerBear]

I think that's some kind of connection that has managed to bypass the anonymous online barriers thing @Phoenix_Rising. Almost creepy 😉

I had a feeling the whole struggling to breathe thing that was going on, was maybe a good reason to come past and mention that I have not disappeared Phoenix_Rising ☺ I feel better in that way, which is really great. Thanks for coming and looking for me. Knowing you care makes it almost impossible to disconnect from the world for good (in a really good way). I'm going to go and work on some feel better things now. Hope it's a good day for you ☺

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @CheerBear,

I am sad that yesterday was so bad in your world. It sounds like today will be super tricky too. It sounds like you got squished by multiple buses in a day. That super super super sucks. I can imagine how ugly an ugly letter might be. Was the ugliness for a greater good or was it just plain ugly? When I went through the court case, there were lots of reports written about what was wrong with me and why. I found it helpful to remind myself that highlighting my muddles was the whole point of those reports. It would have been problematic if they all said there was nothing wrong with me! 

I feel angry at the unexpected housing bus because that particular muddle "should" be ticked off the muddle list now. 

Super big thank you for checking in even though you are feeling so yuck. My volunteering gig has finished up for the year, as have my violin lessons. Thus my level of human contact irl has dropped even further. 

You are right in saying that the DBT skills manual is HUGE with about a bazillion skills in it. Also, I think we have to practice the skills a lot to get good at them, so even if you had tried every single one once, you still couldn't say you have tried everything. 

I will sit with you today in your squished-by-a-bus-ness here in the mud. Today is super hard...but tomorrow may be better...and tomorrow is only a bit over fourteen hours away. Thank goodness we don't live on Venus! 

[CheerBear]

Hey @Phoenix_Rising. Guess what book landed on our doorstep today? Now to find a turtle sticker ☺

Thanks for sitting with me in the bus squished mud today. I have been feeling very sad.

The letters were necessary evils to get a fail turned into a withdrawn not fail. Words like "unremitting mental health issues" and "of severe intensity", that followed other words like "assessed as needing immediate protection" and "fleeing" were important and make a difficult to argue against case, which was the point. They sting though.

The housing bus most definitely should have stopped coming now and it makes me angry and scared that it hasn't. Yesterday I found out that the lease I signed is not right. It's so wrong that I am in a position where I now have a new one that extends into 2019 (almost 2 years since I would have started trying to get out of here) and I'm being asked to sign it as if I signed it back at the start of November, which I am not ok with doing. It appears that we are also still technically housed by the missing housing organisation at the moment and it puts me owing a months rent somewhere. I'm guessing you may be able to imagine what kind of chaos that caused in my world yesterday. I have a plan for dealing with it and will tackle it on Monday. The timing, as often happens, was far from ideal in terms of my ability to cope with it.

I feel a little sad that your volunteering gig and violining is over for the year. The end of the year stuff mostly wraps up just days before Christmas here. The start of next year is at least closer on Earth than it would be if we were on Venus I guess (sorry - terrible attempt there!). Do you have anything planned to do Fridays instead?

How many hours left in today? How many in this year? Today has been hard but really, this whole year has been hard. Maybe next year it will get easier.

I hope your day has been an ok one.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear I can definitely hear how super super super yuck the past couple of days have been for you.

I am doing a quick fly over Forum Land now and then plan to return for FF, but I wanted you to know that I've heard you and that I am sitting with you through these super yuck days.

Only six hours to go in today, CheerBear, and just under 558 hours to go in the year. Wow, that's less than one-tenth of a single day on Venus. Hooray for not living on Venus!!!!! Five hundred and fifty eight hours until 2017 is over, CheerBear. Oh you've so got this!!!!

Ps. It is superly duperly cool that Puffer fish's book arrived!!!!

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear Can I please come and snuggle in your pocket with all of the pocket crew tonight? I really really REALLY don't do unexpected change. Right now it feels like all the regular moderators have vanished never to return again ever. I know in the thinking part of my brain that they will come back...but why would they just vanish? I have the giant everyone-goes-away feelings. 

I am rocking a LOT. It's ok to rock in your pocket isn't it. By the way, I was going to ask you, when you are feeling a bit better would you like to take a photo of each of the pocket crew individually? Then I will be able to use them to make pictures! 

[CheerBear]

I would really appreciate pocket company myself tonight @Phoenix_Rising, so that definitely works for me 🙂 Rocking is totally ok too. I can totally understand the everyone-goes-away feelings being triggered.

What's the best background for photos? I love your new pictures making skills 🙂

Ps thanks for being my maths brain earlier.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear I figured you might like some pocket company.  I am going to super bunker down in your pocket now so I may not reply again. But I am definitely here - right in your pocket. We've got this! 

The best background for photos is a plain background that is a different colour to the thing you want to use for the picture. The more distinct the object is from the background, the easier WORD can understand what I want it to do when I ask it to remove the background. Does that make sense? 

I super love my new photo making skills too. I think @Zoe7 is so superly duperly awesome to have shared her secret with me. 

[CheerBear]

I just tried to take photos for you but it's too dusk at the moment and the colours aren't coming out right @Phoenix_Rising, so I will have a go tomorrow. Glad Word is easier than my way of picture making (almost always things are easier not my way of doing them 😉 )

I hope you snuggle comfortably tonight. Thanks for being with me but not on this tricky day. Night.

[CheerBear]

Morning in the nest

I woke up this morning feeling a bit better (which is good because any worse would be scary). I crashed in bed last night and got some decent sleep which I think has helped. Sleep is definitely helpful.

@Phoenix_Rising these are for you this morning. I hope they work with Word.

One Squishy who appeared in a pink fluffy blanket during a Tsunami. 

One Mr Seahorse with a big nose who was made by a banana head eating a banana even though they are yuck, and who slept in an apple graveyard at a break place.

One Dr Have-to-do with no mouth so no saying anything ridiculous (or telling secrets) and big ears for great listening.

And one Tiny Turtle who tells me I've got this, listens when it is helpful and closes eyes during icky things.

We sure have been through a lot together this year!

I hope the day is a good one for all. I'm planning on being productive this morning and then heading out with some fish for the afternoon.

🙂

[Former-Member]

The giant, dark sad makes me super quiet, but I’m checking in to let you know I’m still here. It’s just taking so much energy to keep breathing. 🙁 I’m so sorry things have been so super tough and bus-squishy for you, @CheerBear. 🙁 I hope the coming week is a better one (although I know there is some tricky fixing to be done). @Phoenix_Rising, I was super pleased to hear that de-muddling has commenced. 🙂

I hope the weekend is what everyone needs it to be. Thank you all for being you. 🌷