I'm in a nest

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear The day is more than half done and I haven't opened the DBT manual yet. Maybe today is another being day rather than a doing day. Sooooooooo frustrating. We can work at mindfully being...then at the end of the day we can say "yay for us, we achieved something today, we have mindfully been." 

[Maggie]

@CheerBear Sorry to read you are feeling yuk and have a cold, and have cleaning to do. I hope you can find some time for you in the middle of your busy life/day. Just stopping by and sending warm thoughts.

[Former-Member]

@CheerBear, I hope you’re hanging in there plus three. I’m so sorry about your villagelessness. (That makes my heart hurt so much. 🙁) I hope you sleep super well tonight and wake up feeling much better.

P.S. You can add heart emojis to your messages—I’m not opposed to hearts at all (although I don’t think I deserve them). I don’t use them much myself because a) I’m totally insecure and full of self-doubt and b) I have super gigantic abandonment issues and I know that caring too much always leads to people leaving (and in my twisted brain I guess hearts = caring and even though I do care, hearts or not, spelling it out in bright colours makes the fear bigger). But then there are times when you and/or the LF give me such big heart feels that I need to use them. 💚 🌷

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear Can I whisper something? It super stings every time I see other struggling people being invited by a moderator to call the HC. I truly don't understand what went so terribly wrong when I "reached out for support" on that fateful night.

I'm going to go and hide in my bed again now. Hey, just before I go... I think you should buy "Giraffes can't dance" for puffer fish for Christmas. I super super super liked it and I think puffer fish would too. I'm super glad @Former-Member gave me that one for my playlist (waves to bookish).

My favourite line is: But sometimes when you're different, you just need a different song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvuNjPLP9J0

[Former-Member]

Hey @Phoenix_Rising,

I know you've had a crappy time of it today/recently, so I thought I would leave this giant dinosaur turtle here. I presume he's one of your ancestors? They were called Archelon (genus name) and instead of hard shells like today, they had bony shells instead. Oh, and they were HUGE!

[CheerBear]

Ducking in to the nest for a bit of a heart pour post as I can't sleep and I feel lots of things.

I've not felt well at all this afternoon and into the night. When I am not feeling well, whether that is in my head or the rest of my body as it is now, things can start to feel so difficult which then makes my missing-our-village feelings much stronger than usual, which then makes things even harder. We had such a great village and things would never have felt so lonely and hard if we were where we should be 🙁

But there is a beautiful village here that I am so thankful for, even if it feels funny for many right now (which is probably an understatement). It seems there are hiccups in so many corners 🙁 I really believe everything can be worked through, though it might hurt lots in the meantime.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I am looking forward to reading the thread @Zoe7 has made for my not-birthday (and a couple of other reasons). I can't share my real birthday here and I can't share my birthday with almost all of my non-forum village anymore either, so this feels pretty special.

I have to find the good and even when things feel so far from good, there is so much good here. There are so many people here who have been so good when my world has felt so bad and so many people being so good to each other even though their world has been so bad to them.

Your dinosaurs are awesome @Former-Member. They bring such a smile to my face. Big thank you @Maggie for coming past today too. It means lots.

@Phoenix_Rising - I noticed that something is missing as I went to write about giraffes dancing. I don't understand and I am imagining what tonight might feel like for you, particularly after reading through the ocean. I hear you and I feel it. I am here with you and alongside you. I wish I was there and and we could talk things through.

@Former-Member - I hear you also and feel with you also. I wish so much things were different for so many. I will leave this here for you as you give me heart feels 💚 If you feel like taking it, it's there for you, but I understand how it can feel scary.

Thank you to anyone who has been the good (about a bajillion of you) even through the not-so-good (especially through the not-so-good) and anyone who has read this.

See you in the morning!

Ps @Queenie - I am intentionally not looking at the emails coming through but somehow the words "throw glitter at CB" came up. Do you know how much I LOVE glitter? 😉💗

[outlander]

@CheerBear ❤❤🕊🕊

[Maggie]

@CheerBear I can't imagine how hard it is for you, hard seems feeble, words just don't get it sometimes. I always struggle so much saying something on people's threads. Am I poking my nose in where it's not wanted, who cares what you have to offer. The list is endless. Struggling with just being on the site really. So Thankyou for your reply, it means so much more than words.💜💜💜

[CheerBear]

Thank you @outlander 💗

Morning @Maggie ☺ I feel so much of the words not being enough here sometimes (when I am replying to someone). When I read the words of anyone who chooses to reply to something I have said, it instantly makes me feel less alone and that feels like heart healing stuff. For what it is worth, your words mean so much, you are never poking your head in where it isn't wanted with me, and I care what I'm you have to offer. And I have sneaking suspicion I would not be alone in saying that to you. I hope today is ok for you. I think of you often but struggle to catch up on a sometimes busy (which makes me so happy to see) thread over that way ⬆️. You mean lots and thank you for being part of this village ❤

[Faith-and-Hope]

Well said @CheerBear ....❣️ 

Goes for me too @Maggie .... 🤗💕