Lived Experience Forum

[Gwynn]

My psychologist (who doesn’t know me that well) has recommended that I undergo a 14 week long DBT training, to begin in August. I find even the mention of DBT triggering because I had a bad psychologist who misused DBT as an instrument of power over me in the ‘therapeutic’ relationship and turned it into a religion that I was bad at following.   My current psych knows this and is sorry it happened to me, but I can't seem to get through to her that i find "DBT" triggering.  How can I get over this so that I can participate in the course and reap the benefits of proper DBT?  I don't want to constantly derail the class because I'm being triggered.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Gwynn I too find the mention of DBT triggering. I had a therapist who I was not a good fit with and only did six sessions with her before changing to another warmer person who never used forms over the subsequent five years I was seeing her.

The forms that earlier psychologist gave me, like you, generated big feelings of failure in me, being required myself to grade myself on every little failure of every day. I became a lot more depressed. I gave it six sessions before I had given it enough of a go to know it wasn't helping me.

However there are others on the forum who believe this form of therapy can be very beneficial. It is considered by many mental health professionals as a 'gold standard' treatment for borderline personality disorder. I have bipolar but it probably has the potential to help with a range of diagnoses.

I hope someone else who hasn't been triggered by short experiences with DBT, like you and I, may be able to give a more enlightening perspective. Not sure who to tag but trying... @BPDSurvivor @eth @Snowy @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 

Well wishes whichever way you decide to go.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks for the tag @Mazarita .....

Hi @Gwynn 

Whike I haven't undergone a course in DBT, one of my adult kids has.  The way it was being presented, or the presenter, was alienating them rather than triggering per se, but in any case they stopped going.  The pdoc organised a 1to1 delivery of the DBT material with a different presenter, and they managed that way.

It seems to have made a difference to their recovery, but it has also provided "scaffolding" for other therapy sessions with that one's psych ie the method is a point of reference.

I hope that makes sense, and I hope it helps.  It seems it's not a "one size fits all" as it is, but requires support from a therapist who you can relate to as a person.  Maybe try again with a different therapist, and explain that the paper-based approach isn't working well for you ?

[NatureLover]

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@Mazarita wrote:

The forms that earlier psychologist gave me, like you, generated big feelings of failure in me, being required myself to grade myself on every little failure of every day.

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Oh gosh, this sounds terrible, @Mazarita ! 😞

[Shaz51]

sorry @Gwynn , I haven't undergone a course in DBT,

@Aniela, @Eden1919 , @Zoe7 might be able to help 

hello @NatureLover , @Faith-and-Hope , @Mazarita 

[Mazarita]

Hi again, @Gwynn glad to see there have been more responses to this. I'm also going to add a tag for @outlander who may know some others who have experience of DBT.

Thanks, @NatureLover, for your care. 

Hi @Faith-and-Hope interesting to read your reply. I relate to what you said about your son. For me almost every form of therapy has been helpful in varying degrees, and over the long term. As you said, so much rides on the therapist and client being a good fit. Also and crucially, we are all different individuals. Some therapies work better for us than others.

[Zoe7]

Hey @Gwynn I did two rounds of DBT over about 18 months. I was very reluctant to do it but it was not because of the horrible experience you described - my biggest issue was being in a group of people. It took me nearly the whole first round to be present at the sessions and I also found the weekly forms difficult @Mazarita. What I did find was at the end of the second round I could look back on those and see how far I had come - so that ended up being valuable for me.

I did not get a lot out of the first round - it was more about surviving each session - but by the second round I could start taking things in and working on different aspects of the course each week ...and that did help. I did DBT in a group - followed up by a session each week with my pdoc so it was very different than doing it with just one person. Our facilitator was very good - and very skilled at both delivering the course as well as keeping everyone safe and on track ...and that is importtant in such a setting. Anything that came up for us or any triggers we encountered we could then discuss/work through with our pdocs after the session - and honestly that was absolutely the difference in me getting through. I often came away from group initially feeling like I never wanted to go back but we talked through that in the follow up sessions and my pdoc continued to encourage me to go ...and I am glad she did.

I will say that not everyone gets the same benefit from DBT as I did and for some it is not the right time to do it either. We had one member that began the course but was quite clearly in distress each week and that really affected the whole group. As a result she was encouraged to work with her pdoc further and return at a later stage when she was more able to cope. It was necessary for both her and the group.

I do not believe DBT is for everyone and you have to be both willing and able to do the work. The only advice I can give is to talk to your facilitator of the class, let them know your concerns and if the fit is not right for you after a few weeks then discuss that with them again. 

Will you be having follow up sessions with your psychologist? If so will that be close to the time of your DBT class? I found having those follow up sessions on the same day imperative to get through and continue each week.

Happy to answer any questions you have and walk through this with you - whatever you decide 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Gwynn ,

To be honest, if you are looking at a 14 wk course, it is NOT DBT in its entirety. It sounds like they will take bits and pieces here and there. The actual DBT program takes about 2 years and consists of both individual and group sessions.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter what therapists label the skills you are learning because really, they are all interrelated. For example, CBT, schema-focused therapy, ACT, DBT etc, all have related elements. Hence I don't think the label DBT should make any difference. What you need to focus on are the skills that you need to function effectively in society to a point that you are satisfied.

BPDSurvivor

[Gwynn]

Thanks everyone for your support. Today I rang my psych and I got it through to her that I could find DBT triggering. She suggested that I could leave the room, splash my face with cold water, etc. to settle myself because it's going to be an adult learning environment where we all respect each other. I also found a book about DBT by Lane Pederson through a library, so she's happy for me to read that and see what I think.