Lived Experience Forum

[oceangirl]

Hi again @Former-Member

I will always be here for you. You will get that dream home that you always wanted. I want you to promise that you will look after you. You can always get extra support you need in  a private hospital, if that is what you need.  Plus you have your loving & supportive husband, who I know would be worried about you.You have taught me so much since I have know you and that is quite a while now. I really appreciate our friendship and I wish I knew IRL. What matters most now is you and we as a community we do care about you and your health. Would you make an appointment to see someone tomorrow or early next week? What are you having for dinner @Former-Member ? PS You always stick to me like super glue!!

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Zoe7, @NikNik and @utopia

What I am experiencing right now is despair - I get confused and believe even the light has forsaken me. It's very, very dark. Cold and lonely. 

Everything bad, unjust, hurtful and tragic has happened to myself and husband over the past couple of days. It's quite unbelievable and tends to make us question anything good and our faith. If I lose the latter when like this I am doomed. But I am struggling with believing in anything good,But as Nik said I can look here at the help, support and see the good. The good that I need so much now as I can see nothing but a dark empty void. No direction, no fervour, no purpose. As that was all taken.

Life has not been kind but quite cruel, But then there's all you all are, your goodness and compassion reaching out. It's my sanity right now as my husband is not ha doing me as he is suffering too,

I just don't know where to go to from here. What has happened to me the last couple of days has totally ruined me

[Former-Member]

Thank you @oceangirl for always being there. I am drowning at the moment, all strength both inner and outer depleted. I have not eaten for a day now and have no desire to. I feel to scared to even think about tomorrow xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member .... God is right there with you .... I expect you know the "Footprints in the Sand" story ..... now is the time for Him to carry you ....

Deut 31:8

When he was 17, my brother went missing for a year. That was a very dark time god my mother. The second very dark time for her with him .... his hands were scalded so badly when his was an infant, through s hot water incident involving neighbour's children .... children ,... who couldn't have known better ..., he was in hospital gravely ill for six months.

Then my sister became ill as an infant ..., it may have been meningitis - we will never know - but she survived a series of convulsions which resulted in brain damage. We live in a world where things don't always add up .... but that is the power of faith and hope, which are gifts rather than something earned ..... something we accept into our life rather than something we can generate ourselves ....,

What may have seemed to be your dream home may have been flawed in terms of your real needs, with the true home for you waiting around the corner somewhere not far away, but in the darkness and tears you can't see that at the moment, and you are so burnt out from worry and drained of care that you have no strength to wait for it .....

Rest dearest @OverThe Edge ..... rest and just float on the tide that has you suspended where you are ..... until you gently wash ashore from there ...... but seek help from your gp or a locum ..... you may need hospital and medication to help you through this time.

Hugs n hugs Hon ..... travelling with you ....

💜💐🌷💕🌷💐💜

[oceangirl]

I am really worried about you @Former-Member. You need to try to eat something, that wouldn't make you feel too good if you have not eaten anything. Is hubby able to get you something at home or something outside of the home (takeaway). You will be okay, it mite not feel like it atm but you will be okay. I will be back later to check on you.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Keep up your fluids @Former-Member ...., can you have a thermos of tea nearby, and a jug of water .... just take small sips.

💜

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Faith-and-Hope and @oceangirl

Yes, I definitely will need medication this time. Even though the side effects are gruesome and they make me a zombie - I would rather live feeling totally numb then feeling the constant grief and pain thrown at me by this world. Only downside is I won't have much to offer anymore. This is so unfair my friends, it's eating me up. I don't know what to believe in anymore and feel lost. I really am in a crisis and the flood gates have opened. I can't se any hope.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Rest @Former-Member ..... lean on us .... we will carry you in our faith and hope for you for now ..... just rest. You are so weary and feeling broken .... you need rest and healing seeetheart ..... everything else can wait ....

💜

[Zoe7]

You cannot feel us, you cannot see us yet you know we are here with you @Former-Member - that is the power of our love reaching out to hold you and help carry you through this time. Let us be your strength, let us be your light - for now just rest - rest your body and rest your mind - and we will sit with you as you rest.

[Former-Member]

I am scared of the suffering of tomorrow. I can't face it