im back..... i think

[outlander]

How do people live like this

[Pepsimax]

@outlander we just have to I know it's extremely hard because I have feelings of wanting to be with those people too I get pain and hate everything and overwhelming sad can't stop thinking about it over and over

[soul]

Hi @outlander - I've just caught up with how you are feeling today and I'm sorry that you are in a dark place. Life can be really tough when you can't see a reason for being here. I can speak from experience. You think about the past and all the things that were bad. The truth is that as much as you would like, you can't change what has happened.

The now isn't too wonderful and when you ponder the future you can't see things improving, only imagining the worst. Little wonder that you are confused and feeling it's all too much. I haven't found anyone who give me a satisfying reason as to the purpose of being here. Sometimes I feel that it's a cruel joke. 

So what to do to make it more bearable? I think it's a matter of changing how you think. Now, this is a lot easier said than done. You have had a very busy time lately with medical appointments, family life and study. Today on Mother's Day you are missing your Nan. It was at least two years after my father passed away that I could even think about him without breaking down. Eventually the thoughts swung into the realm about happy times we shared. There were still sad moments but they weren't as overwhelming as they once were. On remembering him, I found myself smiling more than crying. Tell us something nice about your Nan. She wouldn't want you to be sad. 

Next, find something to look forward to. Perhaps it's a movie you are going to see (even something you watch on TV or online), something you want to draw. A book you are reading. Share it with us. Do something differently. Pack your lunch and eat it in a park. It's so easy to get bogged down doing the same old things. Find some yoga class on your computer and give it a go. Discover some new music on YouTube. Put a colour through your hair. Make a list of things. Maybe others could give you some suggestions.

Next, you matter to others. Even when you feel like your family are taking you for granted and driving you up the wall, they do appreciate you. And you matter to us. You have been here offering so many of us support and for that we are very grateful. There must be some things that you can be thankful about too. Name one or two here on the forums.

Now - go look in the mirror and smile.

[outlander]

Still alive and no more SH yet

And thanks for the advice and support @soul @Former-Member @Pepsimax @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Hi @outlander I'm glad you are with us. Sorry I've not been around on here, I've been sleeping all day. How are you doing? Still feeling flat? I'm very flat today myself. Flat as a pancake.

[Former-Member]

@outlander I was afraid I was going to have to tell you that I failed at the mission I set for us today - finding something that made me smile. But then I saw your picture you tagged me in "Family". Thank you for making me smile today. Have you found your something that's made you smile today?

[outlander]

I havent really been around either @Former-Member
Ive really freaked myself out. I can tell u about it if your interested but if not ill keep it to myself.

Im glad the family picture made you smile that made me smile but unfortunately it faded quickly but the challange was done

[Former-Member]

Mine didn't last long either but it was definitely there for a second. We can be flat pancakes together. If you want to talk about it I'm right here @outlander

[outlander]

Yes lets do that @Former-Member
God im glad ive got my gp i feel so sick and my nausea us sky high and i cant take the antacids of a night and thats when its worst. At the moment im debating whether to sit in the bathroom cause i feel like throwing up and i keep gagging but thats as far as i always get 😞 😞

Last night when my head was running through SH and SI
I actually had a dream about a plan i was having 🙁🙁 i knew it wouldn't work nor did i have access to ot but it was in the old house where the SA happened

[outlander]

@Former-Member feel free to jump in on the last bit too