Just checking in.

[Teej]

@Faith-and-Hope

Ive had a few really intense days with someone. Today I got this message. He’s really doing the best he can. 

'Just so you know, I'll be backing right off from now on. It was just a few days of built up frustration that l let out yesterday. I've resolved that internally now. I know that you will only move forward by finding what you need within yourself, not by being pushed.' Just thought I’d share. It blew my mind when I read it.  

How are you? 

[Faith-and-Hope]

That is phenomenal @Teej .... thanks so much for sharing ❣️🎉

I am still reeling from breakthroughs this week .... substantial for S2, potentially substantial for D3 ..... and a quantum leap in understanding for mr.F&H (that I am wondering where it will lead him).

Aside from that, or owing to it, I am resting up.

[Teej]

It’s so good you are having these wins @Faith-and-Hope. They’ve all very much tested your faith and hope in the last few months. Time to regroup for you sounds essential just now. 

@CheerBear Sorry for my bull at a gate post. It wasn’t very thoughtful. I’m hoping you are ok. It’s absolutely ok if you haven’t got responses for my hundred questions either. I’m sensing a quietness and more of a trying to hold on pattern. Take good care of you. 

[CheerBear]

I was just putting a little to bed @Teej 😊Your post was very thoughtful! You ready for the essay reply? 😆

Woohoo for getting through a tricky day (and thanks for replying)! I'm thinking you'd be pretty tired but it's really great to hear you're in a better place than this morning. I wasn't sure what to expect when I asked (tiredness can seriously mess with me) but I am really happy for you with the above too ❤

I heard "probably next week" with admission. I felt really deflated because it feels like ages away. It's not, but it feels like it is.

As far as catt goes though, they're being great. The worker I am working with (I am finding it so much better to have one worker) has been really encouraging of me reaching out to her/them but I'm still so scared of them and I've been an icy wall of shut down because of it. I broke that down a bit today though. She's been so patient and encouraging and I can tell she's doing her best to have this be in my control, so I am trying so hard to stretch myself and trust that terrible won't come from talking to her.

Today she asked me to think about what support might help and call her back if I thought of anything, and I did. I actually called catt by choice and then chose to make an appointment to go in to the their den and sit with them and talk (this was my face at myself 😮 haha!). I asked for some support to make a written plan of how to get through and what to do if/when things escalate (like they have at times). I have none of my usual supports until the end of next week, and I think I need this kind of plan. As much as it hurts me to say, I really could use their support if it is going to be supportive, which it looks like it may be. So that's happening Thursday.

And that really was an essay sorry! :face_with_rolling_eyes: Thanks if you read it.

Hugs for you and your breakthroughs too @Faith-and-Hope ❤

[CheerBear]

@TheVorticon Hi ☺ (noticed you under the like button). How are you? If you feel like sharing.

I caught a post of yours in the motivation thread and now have a t.a.t.u (or however it was written) song stuck in my head 😆

[TheVorticon]

Hi @CheerBear 🙂 Thanks for spotting me under the button.
Haha about the song 😉 It wasn't intentional to get in anyone's minds 😛

Glad to hear that the catts are being helpful at the moment rather than adding to the distress, and I hope your break comes soon.

I'm okish. I've been hunting around tonight for an ok place to put an "I can't do this" post but there is no place to put it so I guess I'll just have to pretend like I "can do this" instead.

[CheerBear]

The amount of times I played that song when I was younger @TheVorticon. It was great to hear it in my mind again 😁

Thank you. It'll happen before too long.

Here's a good place to post an "I can't do this". Is there a "this" in particular? It sucks to feel like you have to pretend anything (I think). There are people here who care and want to hear how you are really, if you want to/can share.

[Teej]

Love that I got an essay @CheerBear. I have a feeling your new avatar is suiting you perfectly just now 😃. That is so awesome that youve been able to think through it and called them back. Big smiles here. Also big smiles that they are actually trying to work with you and that you have a supportive person. 

It looks like I’ll just have to keep making you write essays to pass the time until next week 😜. 

Partly I did better because I didn’t make group. I slept just under 2 hours and then woke up and tried to stay awake until group but I was all kinds of crazy and so decided to sleep. It helped a bit although I then spent a few hours in overdrive with so much intensity but I actually got through it by myself. So it sounds like a win for both of us......kind of ironic that you reached out for help and I did it by myself for a change 🤔😆. 

I know that there is a volcano bubbling away underneath at the moment and when it erupts it’s going to cause havoc but I ticked another day of keeping it down 🙂

im not sure if you’ll get this essay now or if you’ve switched off but thanks for the reply and the convo 💜🤗

[Teej]

@TheVorticon this is just as good a place as any for I can’t do this posts. I often find myself in the same predicament. Bubbling over but second guessing where to write it and what to write to get it out, then the fear of waiting for a response.....well that’s me anyway. 💜🤗

[CheerBear]

Haha you make me smile @Teej, thanks! Unicorn in style (I also did my hair again today to take it up another level - it's SO bright!) on T-rex is working for me I think 😁 Things are better with them this time for sure.

Go you with today. It's really good to hear you had some sleep and you had your win!

Hearing you with the volcano. I get a bit scared of my potentially explosive insides sometimes. It's why I am shaky at the moment. Zero to a million in a flash, with bubbling fire inside is a bit unsettling. It's implode vs explode feeling. I'm trying to work on little vents (it's not easy though).

I am going to head out now I think. Nice feels for the end of the night 💗

@TheVorticon I am thinking of you. I hope your "can do" comes back soon. It doesn't feel nice when it wanders.

Night 👋