Lived Experience Forum

[BambiFawn]

Just reflecting, I have lost a little confidence I feel in social situations after being verbally abused by my mother for years.  I am sensitive and soft and worry about what others think of me often.  I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.

I am not always underconfident, deep down I think I'm a beautiful person and others are beautiful. I used to be really well spoken and eloquent. But now a mere shadow of my former self, and occasionally I feel like I'm being to jovial now.  

Any helpful tips for me to feel more confident? hugs

Blessings,

BambiFawn 

[greenpea]

@BambiFawn Hi BambiFawn ... I was never good in social situations ... I always found them over whelming regardless of the size or structure.

Joining organizations like umm ... those ... umm ... toastmasters? I think they call them. Where you have to stand in front of a crowd and give a speech is always recommended to people who are shy in social situations. Personally I would die if I was forced to do such a thing but that is what people recommend.

Book clubs, study etc. My mental illness is all I can concentrate on atm and talking with you all is all I can muster socially presently.

Talking to you online one can tell you are a lovely person just take your time and do your research into what really interests you. xx

[Kurra]

Hi @BambiFawn @greenpea
I found becoming involved in community-based organizations helped me a lot. It may be an organisation that works with children and youth or possibly helping out in an op shop, helping the elderly etc. Whatever you might be interested in doing, that gets you out of the house and mixing with people. I found this helped me to restore my confidence little bit by little bit.

It might be worth asking about what sort of volunteer work is around your area. 💕🎶💕

[utopia]

@BambiFawn. I think the 'trick' is to be genuinely yourself. Not always easy when MI gets in the way.
I never grew up with anxiety, but since this MI of mine, anxiety, especially in crowds has developed and increased a lot this year.
Someda I hide at home. Other days I push myself and get out there.
Deep down, logically I know I'm a wonderful worthwhile human being. But negative self tallk can make me feel the opposite.
So I think it's important to do things that you are good at - so it keeps feeding your self worth.

[BambiFawn]

Ya @utopia, @Kurra, @greenpea, 

Thanks for all your support here.

I find going to church and mixing with a lot of Christians like me has helped me a lot.  But my dear cherished Christian friend is away atm, but will be back soon and then I can resume attending church again.  But I've had a break for almost 4 weeks, so it probably was a bit isolating,

Being isolated with no family supports doesn't help.  Even though my auntie rings me everyday. Ya definately having a mother who has no contact with me and is extranged doesn't help.

I currently have a social support worker but they are professional and not really true friends.  I do have friends but they are in other towns, a phone call away.

Yes the library seems maybe where I can go and do workshops and meet people and this will help my confidence I feel.

Have a really good evening.

Your friend, 

BambiFawn 

[Shaz51]

Hello @BambiFawn 

[BambiFawn]

Hello dear beautiful @Shaz51, 

I have been quite concerned I may die soon from the bad side effects of my drug.  I just have to go with the flow, like Tao, like a leaf floating down a stream.  It continues....Moreover God says in His WORD, that 'He works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.' 

I have to shelter under His (God's) mother bird wings' Also, I am busily trying to learn scriptures off by heart of all the verses that discuss God's love for me. 

One verse says ' His perfect love casts out all fear'.  So I will have to meditate on His love for me.  I may not have a mother, but Beloved Jesus has a mother's heart.  

Hugs and blessings dear beautiful Shaz. Take good care sweetie.

[BambiFawn]

@utopia, 

Thanks for your wise counsel dear lovely Utopia.

As a background on things, I was mentally well til 26 after my only sibling was murdered around the time of the birth of my baby.  I've always had confidence problems even when I was younger and doing very well academically in my senior year at college.  Ya, so I would not say that mental illness has caused my ack of confidence, I've always had confidence issues because of my mother's abuse.  

I definately agree with your advice ' to keep doing things that one is good at- to feed self worth.  I'm trying to build myself up in God's Word as a Christian and that is really doing wonders for my self-esteem and helping me.

May you be blessed. Huggies and a sweet posy of flowers to you. 

[utopia]

Thank you @BambiFawn.