Lived Experience Forum

[Determined]

Hi @Former-Member

That's ok, I don't mind you asking.
Unfortunately that is a question I am currently asking myself. It has been 12 years since my dad died but for some reason I am finding it more difficult than previous years. (Last week was the anniversary of his death). For me because it has been so long I don't know where to start it just surfaces when I am asked about my dad and can't find the answers.

As an example, I was recently asked if we were close, at that time I couldn't answer the question and it upset me. On reflection I think we were close but unfortunately it is the negative aspects of our relationship I can remember over the positive.

It is also difficult for me to distinguish between what is grief and what is resentment about that period of time as I feel ripped off for so many reasons.

The short answer is that my default reaction is still to just bury my feelings and not deal with them, something I am currently processing and considering how to address.  

[Former-Member]

its nearly at my nans second year of passing in april so it gets even more harder then. but i miss her everyday and i regret so many things @Determined

[Determined]

@Former-Member

In the early stages I also had many regrets, some of these have faded others havn't, what I can say now with the passing of time is that some of my regrets were over exaggerated (in my mind) and were not helpful for me. This is a very hard and personal subject that only you can answer  but if you know in your heart that you were there for your Nan and did everything you could at the time it will make it easier to get past these regrets, and it seems to me from your story that you were close to your Nan and a huge support for her, practically as you are so young, there should be no regrets in that.   

[Former-Member]

thanks @Determined 

i still regret so many things but maybe after a while it might die down abit