Lived Experience Forum

[MoonGal]

@Gypsie hello.

I live with C-PTSD and OCd (and a couple of other things Anxiety, BiPolar.)

This past year has been a hell of a ride as I finally undertook a deep passage into the past to put it all to rest.

My pain build up is in my lower back (not my head). I wonder if you are a reader? I found Bessel Van der Kolk's book "The Body Keeps the Score"very instructive about trauma and how it impacts our bodies and minds. more here: a review from a trauma book club about the book

http://emdrandbeyond.com/showcase/trauma-book-club-summary-the-body-keeps-the-score/

My greatest mountain to climb was to overcome repetitive thinking and rumination.

I managed years ago to break the nexus between OCD thinking and repetitive actions through body awareness and changing behaviour, I had a large impetus to do so as I did not want to look odd at work, I used to shake my hands (like shaking water off) and rock in my seat - I haven't done that for years now.

I think though that what I did was turn it all on the inside when I did it so my anxiety grew and grew. So while I might not have looked odd I felt terrible.

The greatest breakthrough for me has been to practice being "present' in the now.

(I write a lot about that practice and how I misunderstood what mindfulness was for a long time on a thread about mindfulness: here in the forums)

Every day I remind myself a hundred times to come back to the present. I check in with my body and whether my eyes are focused or unfocused. If my eyes are unfocused, I am likely to be ruminating, so I take myself in hand and come back to the present. It takes practice but you get better at it. That above all else has relieved me of being chucked about by my thinking/feelings.

Hope you find what works for you.