Our stories
- Mark Discussion as New
- Mark Discussion as Read
- Float this Discussion for Current User
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
23-03-2015 09:27 PM
23-03-2015 09:27 PM
Living with BPD
I'm new to this, Im 23 and I was recently diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder after a terrible low period which consisted of self harm and many many suicidal thoughts. I have been seeing a phycologist for a few months now and taking meds daily which has already helped a lot but I'm looking for support as I feel I have very little, mainly because I have not told any one of my problems beside my husband. I unfortunately do not have friends as I have a hard time keeping them. Is there anyone with similar problems? Im feeling very alone.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
23-03-2015 09:48 PM
23-03-2015 09:48 PM
Re: Living with BPD
Dear @Rose11
A very warm welcome to the forums! Thanks for your courageous, honest and open post. And thanks for joining the conversation.
Sorry to hear you are struggling so much. Self-harming is a pretty terrifying place to be, and I only went there once - it scared the crap out of me. No you are not alone. I can think of a few very kind-hearted people on the forum who I'm sure can relate to what you are talking about. @Ellie @peace & @Crazy_Bug_Lady have been talking about similar feelings as fellow-journeyers with BPD.
Whilst you are waiting for them to get in touch with you (the @ symbol is a kind forums of shout-out) you might find it helpful to use the search function on the forum and look up the posts under "BPD" as well as "borderline personality disorder". I hope you'll find much you can relate to. Feel free to like or comment on the posts as you go. Take care.
Hope for connection with others endures...
Kindest regards,
Kristin
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
23-03-2015 09:55 PM
23-03-2015 09:55 PM
Re: Living with BPD
Pleased to meet you. I was finally diagnosed with BPD and SA earlier this year after a really low two years, and I'm still struggling a bit with the SH and negative thoughts, but I'm working on that with my GP and Psychologist.
I joined this forum for some support, as I felt I had no one to talk to about this and felt so alone. I'm loving it here, everyone is so nice and supportive and happy to listen and offer advice.
I hope you find this forum as helpful as I have, and look forward to getting to know you.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
24-03-2015 12:07 AM
24-03-2015 12:07 AM
Re: Living with BPD
I am grateful for this forum. I've learned heaps.
I do have anxiety and depression and PTSD along with huge breakdowns immersed in intense fear. I've done a lot of therapy and self help/development /improvement. Management skills and heaps of other stuff. But I value the peer support.
Blessings to you Rose11
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
24-03-2015 06:21 PM
24-03-2015 06:21 PM
Re: Living with BPD
Hi Rose11 and welcome to the forum.
Sounds like you've been having a rough time of it, but at least now you have a diagnosis and can start working on overcoming this terrible disorder. I realise how hard it can be when you know something is dreadfully amiss and you don't know what it is.
Make no mistake though, BPD came be beaten. You're very fortunate in that you're still young enough to turn your life around. I spent many, many years in the wilderness with no idea what was wrong with me. I'm an older sufferer these days, but I'm still trying to get well. I too am on two different types of medication. One I don't feel has done much, but the other seems to be having a good effect and I'm feeling much better in myself since going on the recommended dose full time. Prior to that, I wasn't taking it as I should because of my negativity as in...... "nothing I take or do ever works," but I think I might have been wrong. Yes, I still have melt-downs, yes I still feel really horrible at times for no apparent reason, yes, I still self harm when dreadfully upset and yes, I continue to have suicidal ideation yet I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel and if there's anything I can suggest to help you, then please ask.
Kind regards,
Ellie.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
24-03-2015 07:44 PM
24-03-2015 07:44 PM
Re: Living with BPD
One of the best things about this forum is we very quickly discover that here, our experience is valued by our peers. That here, we are not alone and that here, we learn from each other!
Which in the midst of hard days, good days, inbetween days and great days..we are always happy to hear how our days are going!
Looking forward to getting to know you!
Here's a gentle wave, friendly smile, nod of recognition..welcome aboard!!!!
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
25-03-2015 03:49 PM
25-03-2015 03:49 PM
Re: Living with BPD
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
26-03-2015 10:32 AM
26-03-2015 10:32 AM
Re: Living with BPD
I love that I come here after a bad day and there's people to listen, and I can listen and possibly help others too. It's great to not feel so alone. 😁
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
26-03-2015 11:35 AM
26-03-2015 11:35 AM
Re: Living with BPD
"This" can most definitely be all over one day Rose. A dialectic behaviour therapy (DBT) course is just the ticket for ridding yourself of BPD. Failing that, ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is a close second. That's the easy part. Finding someone to do those programs with you is a different kettle of fish.
Public funded DBT programs are rare. Spectrum (Victoria) does them, but they only take the "worst of the worst." They also tend to only take younger people in their 20's and 30's, maybe 40's too, but I'm well outside that age group and would never get a foot in the door. In short, the entire system is underfunded.
Another alternative is to get your GP to write out a MHP or Mental Health-care Plan. You can then get 10 subsidised sessions per calender year with a psychologist who will teach you the fundamentals of either DBT or ACT, however to be quite frank, 10 sessions per year just isn't enough. You can request more sessions, but you then have to pay the going rate. The best thing is if you have private cover. You can then continue DBT in a private setting with little cost involved.
Now, all of the above isn't as easy as it looks in writing. This is a self defeating disorder. You can go to a psychologist or DBT group and know it inside out and back to front.......... and still never do anything about it. This is because of old learned behaviours. Firstly, you probably won't trust the instructor or psychologist, after all you've never been able to trust anyone your entire life! And of course even if you do take some of it onboard, "nothing ever works" or at least that's what your mind will try and tell you. A large percentage of those starting a DBT program or ACT with a therapist drop out within the first few weeks. They disengage and go right back to where they were. Perhaps after many more years lost in the wilderness will they'll finally decide to take it seriously.
Age plays a part too. By the time mot sufferers reach middle age, if indeed they do, then they're actually beginning to understand the cause and effect of their actions. I began in a limited way back in my late 40's and although I kept working, I built a home in a secluded area and remain there today. No people to bounce off you see, but it's a terribly lonely life and that becomes a danger in itself. Back then I worked in a factory environment where the other workers ignored my outbursts and my boss was a drunk who might go crook at me for throwing a hammer, but after work would invite me over to the office to discuss the incident. He'd hand me a beer, tell me how I might cause serious injury if I hit somebody with a hammer and that would be the end of it. Prior to that job, I was averaging one job every six months.
Today I work as a MH nurse, but only a few days a month. I did too much work pre-Christmas and had a melt-down which got me into trouble. They don't just hand you a beer and tell you not to do it again in a professional industry, so I backed right off the amount of shifts I did and although feeling the pain of isolation, my mental state has improved. Anyway, I'm no longer feeling so alone since I've discovered this message board.
Hmmm. This is a rather lengthy post, but hopefully you can get something out of it. Just remember, if you can get into a DBT program, STICK WITH IT! You can turn your life around. All the best with it
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
26-03-2015 06:08 PM
26-03-2015 06:08 PM
Re: Living with BPD
How are you feeling? I agree with the others about the support from this forum and it's from people that are able to provide advice vs others that tell you to think positive thoughts.
I too have been diagnosed with BPD and have been working on getting better.. Like us all.. I hope you have a good therapist and support from your husband.
To be diagnosed was scary to me so I read a whole pile of articles and a few books and am fine with it. As my lady says everyone is different with different symptoms. Would be nice to have some more positive thoughts tho.
Hope the forums are helping. They sure help me