Lived Experience Forum

[shanc]

I have BPD and one of many that would also abuse a substance. For me its beer and have been a heavy drinker for a while now at the age of 36. No one really knows the extent and always drink alone til i pass out. I don't get hungover and am very good at hiding the many bottles.

I have been advised numerous times by my psychiatrist to stop and have seen an addiction specialist. Also tried meetings but they were not for me. My last bood test was a few months ago and all my insides are fine.. for now!!

I know many use substances to escape and i love it and don't think i can stop. 'Find something else to do when you want to drink?' Nothing compares to a break from your brain.

I'm writing im hope that others have ideas for me to try. Those that have mental health issues and have been where i am. I risk becoming an alcoholic.

[Former-Member]

Hi @shanc

I have been where you are now many years ago - I did suffer alcoholism for 10 years. I can so relate to "I love it...the escape from my brain". It was about escaping from the emotional pain for me, plus the fact I really enjoyed drinking socially.

It definitely catches up and triggers depression and/or makes it worse. It also effected me physically after awhile, even though all my blood tests did show up as all was well also. Although I was classified as functioning - I felt the fatigue at the end of the sessions and the toll on my mind and body after awhile. 

I did realise it was not the answer to my pain, as it resolved nothing only for the pain and stesss to come back twice as bad when sober. That's the vicious cycle I found .

i thinks perhaps what helps each individual is very individual. For me I wanted better - to feel better and be better as the drinking and escapism/reckless lifestyle was making me feel empty. I lost a lot because of it - career, relationships, maturity, being responsible and self esteem. I was also promicious when drunk (not when sober), and relationships were destroyed.

I found also spirituality, forming values and having a purpose helped me back then to give up alcohol as I found something more fulfilling....this new found purpose helped to restrain the urge (which I still can have). Finding healthier healthier solutions to coping with my pain and facing it rather than avoiding the mental issues which only served to come back and haunt through avoidance and suppression.

Wanting to be a better parent also instigated my resolve to be free of addiction.

Believing in a better future, holding onto hope and taking those necessary steps to gain it with setting personal goals helped. Also avoiding initially, until I grew stronger, those places/people where I might be tempted to drink a lot. Mixing with people who valued me and cared (my drinking started from experiencing childhood abuse resulting in mental health trauma, anxiety, depression, bi-polar etc).

I never sought group help - I did this through my own resolve.

Talking through my pain and taking productive steps to face it and work through it without the crutch of alcohol. Mostly sticking to a healthy lifestyle and nutrition (sometimes slipped). Seeking counselling. All the above helped. I had to make choices and stick to them. The main key to success here was wanting to kick the habit and have a better life. Being determined even when I fell multiple times, I kept getting back up and trying until I succeeded. 

I do have damage from the alcohol that I still live with (liver etc), and cannot drink to this day. So glad to read that you also want better and that you reaching out for help to stop this addiction before it gets worse. Wishing you healing and peace 

[Amour_Et_Psyché]

Hi @shanc,

Thank you for sharing your struggles with abuse of, and dependency on, alcohol. I'm sure many other members on the forums can relate; whilst appreciating your humility and courage to admit that you are struggling with this issue and need help.

As @Former-Member said, what solution works for one individual is often specific to that individual. However, the general suggestions given by @Former-Member about trying to find better coping strategies and a sense of hope/motivation is helpful across the board. Such suggestions can be tailored in a helpful way to each individual - e.g., what helps you to cope; or what motivates you to address your issues with alcohol dependency? You may also find talking about what's going on for you with a professional/friend/family member/here, and facing your struggles, rather than finding a way to escape them (as you inferred), helpful. Either way, I hope you can gain some ideas about what might help you with your struggles with alcohol here on the forums. Then you may be able to try them out to see which of these are useful to you.

You may also be interested in checking out the following threads about alcohol use/abuse and coping: "Any recoverying alcoholic or alcoholic in the forum," by @Bubbles3; "Going off alcohol," by @Former-Member; and "I think i may be an alcoholic," by @Learninggrowing.

I hope these are helpful for you. Please keep us updated on how you are traveling and if any of the suggested coping strategies are helpful to you.

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

[shanc]

@Former-Member
@Amour_Et_Psychè

Thankyou for taking the time to respond.

My pyschiatrist basically says that she doesn't want to spend the session time trying to convince me to stop. She does bring it up and sighs saying that is a lot to drink. I have seen her for years and has helped a lot since being diagnosed.

I find is hard to say I will quit because then the guilt and bad head day sets in when i have a drinking session. These are far too regular as i spend a lot of time alone.

So, i am trying to incorporate positive choices when i can. Gym, walks and healthy meals. I'm hoping that over time if i try and take better care of myself the need to drink will slowly ease.

My GP has offered to help me try and improve my lifestyle choices as i have gotten myself very sick from mixing meds with beer.

I have finished the beer out of the fridge and the bins go out tonight so all will be hidden. Will aim for small things each day. Day by day... isn't that what they say?

Thank you again

[utopia]

@shanc. Thanks for posting about this important topic.
I have struggled the past year with my alcohol consumption. But have been drinking heavily for a number of years.
I drink alone at home and use it not to think about my problems.
Guilt when I say "I will stop tomorrow" & then don't. I understand that.
A gentle approach. Reducing volume of alcohol. Having one less. Congratulate yourself for those achievements.
Have you thought about medication to help you quit? There are different types of meds to help with this. Unfortunately we can't write names of medications - so it might be good to speak to your psychiatrist or your gp, about alternatives to help you.
There are online support groups - if you don't like to attend meetings.
Definitely finding healthy and enjoyable hobbies can help.
I wish you all the best

[shanc]

@utopia
Thank you for taking the time to respond.

I have been to an addiction specialist and was on meds tp reduce the cravings but once i made mt mind up to drink it meant i drank a few less. So i stopped going and taking the meds.

At this minute i am at my parents until i find somewhere to rent and i never drink here so that eill be a nice break for my insides.

I will look into online support groups. Thank you.