Lived Experience Forum

[Hollyblossom]

Hey folks!

I started doing a major I'm really passionate about, but which doesn't play well with my cognitive deficits. There's a lot of paper work and filling things in, and it keeps coming, week after week. The last few weeks I've stopped being able to meet the deadlines, and I'm starting to get stressed out about how much of a struggle it is. I'm an average student, I can get marks in the 60's, but I look at my other friends with ASD and see them getting marks in the 70's, 80's, even 90's, and I feel really bad about myself. I know I have bipolar, which I had for 10 years, and I think it's a bit of apples to oranges since bipolar burns your brain out even more.

At the moment my mood is pretty low, and it's hard to keep telling myself it's a long history of mental illness holding me back. I'm starting to feel like I'm just making excuses for myself. I think it would really help to hear how other people in a similar situation have fared in school, so I know where I'm at.

[utopia]

@Hollyblossom. I'm not in school - so can't help there.
But I did want to suggest that you use the supports that Uni /Tafe offer. Student support - with studying - workload - counseling.
It's hard not to look at others and compare ourselves. But it doesn't help us. They haven't lived our life. Don't have our experiences.
I'd say your doing great. Studying a subject that you love and tests you.
Just seek help from the school to keep the workload balanced.

[Lunar]

Hello @Hollyblossom

A very warm welcome to the forums from myself, it's lovely to meet you 🙂

That sounds really challenging trying really hard with a busy study load but also having some mental health concerns and comparing yourself to others, easy to do but not very helpful to keep your motivation up.

I have been studying for about 6 years now and have struggled with the load due to my personal life and always found that comparing myself to others really made a negative impact, so I really try not to ask others what marks they are getting or even where they are up too in assignments, I just try to focus on my deadlines and getting the assessments done in a way that works for me.

I would also really seek some extra support for this through a counsellor and the tutors as they are usually always so helpful and love it when you come forward and explain what you are struggling with, it shows that you are wanting to learn and they also enjoy helping you. Whenever I have reached out for extra help from them I have been surprised at how helpful they are, I tend to want to manage everything on my own so it's hard to admit I am struggling but they are aware of that so they don't mind helping.

Goodluck with your studies, it's not easy so good on you for giving it such a good go and all the hardwork you are putting in.

Lunar 🙂

[CherryBomb]

Hello @Hollyblossom,

I'd also like to extend @Lunar's welcome, and I echo what both Lunar and @utopia have suggested. Getting support from the services available at your university is a good start.

From a personal perspective, I have been a university for 8 years now as a student, and now teach other students. I think it does help to communicate with your tutors if you are struggling. You might also be able to arrange a time to meet with your tutor individually to go over assignments.  If you feel you might need more time to complete an assignment, let your tutor know in advance. 

Also, get support from your friends and fellow students. Studying can be stressful, so it's great to share the experience with others who are in the same boat. As Lunar mentioned, try not to compare yourself with others, there will always be someone who can do something better than us. So stick to focusing on your efforts and be proud of how much effort you put into your work. 

I think @-Rayne- has experience with being a student - I wonder if they can share some thoughts here?

[Ellu]

Dear Hollyblossom. It is a struggle keping up with schoolwork with cognitive defects. Why don't you have a chat to your doctor about getting around these? Notetaking for example, or learning memorization skills.

Have you talked to your school counsellor about special consideration for your condition? I know that there are several ways in which the school can help you by deceasing your workload or giving you extra time for assignments. Talk to your counsellor and see if you can't work out a way to help you. Most schools bend over backwards to help students, so please talk to the counsellor.

Ellu

[Rose6]

Hi Hollyblossom,

Thank you for your post.

I can relate to your experience v much. I am in my 5th year of a Bachelor degree (i have worked PT and had family commitments as well as my own health issues to manage during this time); I am officially up to my final year topics and I am struggling! I don't have difficulty with the content and I perform quite well in exams and other assessment. But, when it comes to essay writing I am utterly and completely paralysed with anxiety, fear, panic.. distress. I often need months of extensions to submit things because it is such a torturous task. I had really, really hoped to master this skill by now; like I said, I'm in 5th year- yet- sadly, I feel no closer : (. I understand that many students struggle with writing papers; however, I don't know of many who almost drop out evey time an essay deadline is approaching and require the amount of support that I do!?!

Over the years, I have found one of the University counsellors very helpful. I engage with them at least monthly during term; they have advocated for me re extensions etc many times. So- I would encourage you to do the same if you feel that it may be of assistance? Also, I have special adjustments in place to accomodate my medical condition (BPD/Depression/Anxiety). I'm not sure if this is available via your Institution?

Lastly, even though I am the WORST offender when it comes to comparing myself to others: PLEASE DON'T!!! My sister has a saying: Compare & Despair- so apt!! I need it tatood on my eyelids... I also saw a quote today on a website that said, "my only goal is to be better than I used to be- not anyone else".

Please keep going- don't forget that you're doing so well!!!

All the very best.

P.S. The above suggestions don't make study easy... just ideas to perhaps hopefully make things a little bit easier.

[CherryBomb]

@Rose6,

One thing that really helped me with writing is to set my timer to 25 minutes (apparently that's the peak attention span time), set myself a goal (e.g., 200 words) and write, write, write. The trick is not to stop, no editing, referencing or proof reading - just get your thoughts down. It helps to silence critical self-talk during the writing process. But to start this excercise, you need to have done your research, and have an idea of what you're going to write. I also use written kitten (I change it to puppy), I set it to 100 words, so everytime I write 100 words I get a picture of a cute puppy. Seems silly, but it somehow makes the writing experiences a less unpleasant. 

[Hollyblossom]

Thank you all for your feedback and advice, everyone 🙂

[-Rayne-]

@Hollyblossom coming late to this as I'm not around here much anymore but the only thing I would add in relation to comparing yourself to others with ASD, is that it gives you inconsistent results because people don't perform consistently over time. This is true for all students but I've also noticed it with my son who has ASD and currently doing Honours. When he's on top of things, he performs very well academically but when stress builds up (and the reasons for stress can vary from person to person) then he struggles and everything compounds in on itself. So now things might be challenging for you but in a year's time when you've settled in to your course, it might look very different. 

I also fully agree with what others have said about special consideration. Since I started teaching (I'm also a PhD student), I've really been surprised by how many students request SC for MH reasons. It's very common and the systems are set up to support it, so you should use them when you need to. 

Best of luck