@Emelia8
Hi Em
I do understand about your grief journey. It is different to lose a husband or to lose a child and the pathway through varies but there are things in common. I found it hard to get up in the mornings after my son died - I forget how long it was before I could get up earlier but I managed it in time. I wandered around for days - weeks - totally unfocused but in time I found my feet. I went back to my work and the university fairly soon but it was hard work going to lectures. I seemed to watch the clock feeling my grief but at least I was out of the house. It's 35 years since he died in July and I remember his last Mother's Day clearly - not knowing it was his last of course.
And my mother died 6 years ago now and although I never got on with her I did have a couple of moment yesterday and before that - more this year perhaps because I haven't been well. I used to send her pretty cards for each and every occasion and I enjoyed picking them out. I never heard anything from her for years - but I did let her know I cared and wished to see her if she wanted to see me
It seems families are complex - I am sorry you have to go through grief too - and find your feet in a different world really. Going back to pilates is a good step and big one - as is caring for yourself to recover from your cancer treatment - and that's a huge ask
I am still thinking of you - wishing I could be with you - there are so many of us here wishing we could be there. I'm having a coffee right now - it would only take me a minute to get one for you
One day at a time - yes - that's sometimes too long - I would tak 20 minutes at a time - that was easier
Dec
