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Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

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Casual Contributor

Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

When I was diagnosed with drug-induced psychosis in a psych ward, I never really believed it to be true. I always thought I had depression. 

 

I was taking drugs for a couple of years before I was admitted. I was also in a domestic violent relationship. I had an abortion, too. GROWING up, in hindsight, I feel I never really concentrated to what was said on TV shows, or movies. I had bad attendance most of my high school years, didn't work until the age of nineteen after I finished high school, and still had bad attendance in my jobs. 

 

I loved watching movies, which is why I believed I never went to school. Or, it was because I was never the learning or studious type. I had a social life, up until I was really sick and relapsed after I stopped taking my medication. 

 

I have had psychotic symptoms for years, even though they have changed overtime. I used to have auditory and visual hallucinations, now I have angry outbursts, hear voices very rarely on the tv from the actual people on the programs, flashbacks from the past which result in feelings of hurt and anger, and yelling/arguing, crying, child-like behaviour, unwanted, unhealthy thoughts, using manipulative, reassuring sentences as a result of these thoughts, I'm anti-social, poor-hygiene, hardly do any chores, or have the desire/want to do anything (literally), sleep problems.

 

I'm at university now, and I don't have bad attendance, but I did take a year off. I was told I had Schitzophrenia in the past because a family member had it. I see a psychiatrist, and I must admit that I'm much better than before. He says I have a psychotic illness. 

 

But what kind? I really think it's something other than psychosis, but I could be wrong? I take anti-psychotics, but I've stopped taking anti-depressants. 

 

Has anyone had similar experiences, or symptoms? I'd like to connect, or maybe learn more, and find out what I really have. 

12 REPLIES
Moderator

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

Hi @Anonymouswoman

 

Welcome to the Forum and thanks for sharing your story. 

 

I hope that you will find the forum to be a supportive place for exploring all these issues. 

 

Just a tip, if you are replying to someone or wanting to notify or touch base with someone, place an @ before their username, as in @Anonymouswoman

 

All the best

Joe The Lion

Senior Contributor

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

@Anonymouswoman Hi Anonymouswoman and welcome to the forums Smiley Happy  When I was firstly diagnosed it was with a psychosis, I had been suffering depression and voices and hallucinations. It is only in the recent while that my actual mi could be defined as bipolarI and schizo. 

 

Your psychiatratist is probably just watching to see how you go on the medications before he/she gives a definitive diagnosis. I can understand however your frustration with having a vague diagnosis as 'psychosis'.  If you are in any doubt I would be bringing this up with your psychiatrist just to put your mind at ease.

 

ps: welcome again and btw I really like your name Anonymouswoman that is cool Smiley Happy

Casual Contributor

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

@greenpea Thank you for your reply.

 

I actually ended up seeing my psychiatrist today, and told him everything and how I was feeling. He's very conservative firstly, but what I gathered from my visit was that he did say I have a psychotic illness, showing psychotic symptoms. He can't give me a definite diagnosis though, but he thinks I have Psychosis, and maybe the Schizophrenia type. 

 

It's hard... What kind of symptoms do you have? 

 

I like your name, too. It's unique. 

Senior Contributor

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

@Anonymouswoman Hi Anonymouswoman I am really happy that you went to your psychiatrist yesterday and were able to talk with him about your frustrations concerning your diagnosis. My symptoms are hearing voices and a main voice both inside my head and outside my head, totally erratic behaviour (some of which I remember most of which I don't) an example would be going out for midnight walks by myself because my voice told me to,, when I was depressed I slept for over a year basically non stop the only time I wasn't sleeping was when I was eating or doing stuff I simply had to do (I was constantly tired),  Self Harming .... past trauma leaving me with parts of my life I cannot remember (working on that one), That is all I can think of right now but when I was first hospitalised I was given the label of suffering a psychosis. It was labelled along the way.

 

I hope that helps a bit. greenpea Smiley Happy

Casual Contributor

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

@greenpea Sorry for replying late. Wow, you are definitely brave and strong for going through what you've been through. Have those symptoms gone away at all, or do you still have them? 

It seems I feel I'm relapsing. I'm not all here. I'm really thinking of changing psychiatrists. I forgot to mention he said there's only one more anti-psychotic drug that can most likely help me, but will be the next only option for me. It's so scary. 

There must be new, and different medications out there. I've stopped taking my anti-depressants, so I think that may be adding to the problem. I just don't know!

How are you holding up? 

Senior Contributor

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

@Anonymouswoman No apologies necessary everyone leads busy lives and shoulders their own burdens, everyone is very sympathetic here on the forums. I think looking at different psychiatrists is a very good idea .... it cannot hurt. I am alot better but I can occasionally hear this one particular voice slip through .,.,. which is why I would never give up the meds. The meds and therapy are the key to success. I find that it never completely goes away and from what I hear that can be the case for some.

 

Good luck with everything. Let me know how your pdoc (psychiatrist) searching goes and go by your gut feeling. Oh btw I take an anti depressent along with mood stabilkizers and anti psychotics. Don't give up if he says there are no more that you can take after the current one that you are on. Time for you to shop around Smiley Happy  

 

 

Community Elder

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

Hello @Anonymouswoman

I think you are brave to post your story and reach out for peer support. @greenpea is amazing and I am learning about some her postive humourous attributes.

Schizophrenia and psychosis are scary diagnoses, but with the right help and support, it can be managed.

I am in the opposite situation as never being diagnosed well enough after 40 years with contact with MH services becasue of family diagnoses ... 

Labels can be useful ... medication can be useful ... but getting help with mnaging your life situation is more important ... use your psychology session as well as psychiatric ones.  They are supposed to be helpful and not judgemental ... you are allowed to shop around a little.  We all have to be honest with ourselves as much as possible ... but some MH workers click better than others.

Take Care Apple

Casual Contributor

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

Hello, @Appleblossom and @greenpea

 

Thank you for your informative, and wise message/reply. I shall definitely seek a second opinion, and even maybe a third, since it won't hurt to do so. 

I'm glad you're holding up @greenpea, and that your symptoms/mental health is manageable - that is what I hope for, with me. I hope you are happy, healthy, and loved. And, not lonely. 

I'm so sorry to hear, @Appleblossom, that you haven't been properly diagnosed. It must hurt, but you have so much support on this forum, and there is other support out there, too. I'm hoping to find the right psychologist as well as psychiatrist. I'm taking each day as it comes, and trying not to worry and think too much about it. That's all we can do I guess. I hope you live life to the fullest. Sometimes a label isn't everything, but it's how you deal with your symptoms, and make the most out every situation, with a great support system of course. Take care!

Casual Contributor

Re: Life lessons, undiagnosed properly, and my psychotic symptoms. This is my story.

Hello, @Appleblossom and @greenpea

 

Thank you for your informative, and wise message/reply. I shall definitely seek a second opinion, and even maybe a third, since it won't hurt to do so. 

I'm glad you're holding up @greenpea  and that your symptoms/mental health is manageable - that is what I hope for, with me. I hope you are happy, healthy, and loved. And, not lonely. 

I'm so sorry to hear, @Appleblossom that you haven't been properly diagnosed. It must hurt, but you have so much support on this forum, and there is other support out there, too. I'm hoping to find the right psychologist as well as psychiatrist. I'm taking each day as it comes, and trying not to worry and think too much about it. That's all we can do I guess. I hope you live life to the fullest. Sometimes a label isn't everything, but it's how you deal with your symptoms, and make the most out every situation, with a great support system of course.

 

Take care!

 

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