Lived Experience Forum

[eudemonism]

Yea @Zoe7 any mental illness is complicated. Have you ever had racing and jumbled thougths? that were paranoid or delusional thougths? Trouble putting words together? Felt like you had two minds about everything?

[Zoe7]

Not paranoid or delusional thoughts @eudemonism I couldn't even imagine how hard it is to have those  I have had jumbled thoughts but they mostly come when I haven't slept for days - all my thinking is distorted in some way then but luckily that hasn't been the case for some time. For me the medication has helped dramatically.

How often do you have those type of thoughts?

[eudemonism]

When off my medication or before the depot... I would think up the most craziest and bizarre stuff... like really scary stuff that waz all paranoid and delusional... it would really frighten me... really detailed and intricate storylines which involved many people from my past and present life... it could all be triggered by simply bumping into someone... it would vary in nature and severity & my circumstances also played a role... the two extremes were total persecution or total grandiosity... one made me fear and one made me love... all not true though... all in my mind of course...

[Zoe7]

That is a super tough way to live @eudemonism and no doubt very scary. I can't imagine what effect that all had on you  Do you feel you are generally more 'evened out' on the medication?

[eudemonism]

Yea however i feel it's all still lurking in the background of my mind. Everything/everyone that caused it to happen or was involved is still out there. It's not like i wanna face it again.

[Zoe7]

Sometimes we can only deal with what we have right in front of us Eude. There are times when my past completely takes over but luckily at the moment I am keeping that at bay - it takes a lot of effort and a lot of work to do that but everyday I don't have a flashback, nightmare or intrusive thought is a win @eudemonism

[eudemonism]

@Zoe7 I'm going to bed night night

[Zoe7]

I am too Eude - goodnight - chat tomorrow @eudemonism 

[eudemonism]

Good morning @Zoe7

[Sophia1]

good morning @eudemonism

What plans do you have today?

I need to go to next town which is about 15-20 minute drive depending on if there are any roadworks or very slow drivers...

I am meeting my younger son there...

I went out yesterday.....quite exhausted when I got home..

the previous day had long drive down to adelaide for specialist appointment....exhausted then

good for me to be getting out of the house more though...

how are you managing?