Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Elke]

Glad to see you made it through 🙂 I also had a colicky one. That is such a tough time.

[s-jay]

Thanks @CheerBear for coming along for tonight!

Agreed, massive changes which can be really confronting no matter how much mental preparation you do! Thanks for sharing your experience & expectations...

[Elke]

There are a lot of misconceptions out there about becoming a parent, especially the pressure to be “perfect”. What are some of the pressures that you felt about being the “perfect parent”?

[Kezk]

Yes @CheerBear, very true. We envision bringing a child into the world will bring our partnership closer together. In reality, when we havn't discussed the roles each of us will play in the family unit, it can quite often result in a disconnection between us and our partner. We also bring with us learnt behaviours from our own upbringing which we havn't had to think about which can result in different parenting styles and different ways of communicating our needs and desires to each other. 

[dani2]

Hi everyone, just signed up to join in. I had premi twins and thought I knew what I was up for after my first but definitely felt a loss at everything that went on with having premi babies. Hsopital stay etc.

I felt a lot of pressure to be perfect parent, even with a lot of support I felt like I was never on top things.

[CheerBear]

That was very much the way it was @Kezk. Looking back I think it could have been really helpful for us if we'd had conversations about our hopes, expectations, roles, needs etc.!

@Elke I was considered a young parent and think that added a layer of pressure that I put on myself to kind of prove to myself and others that age didn't matter. I felt enormous pressure to get everything right which was really not going to happen as I now know!

[s-jay]

Welcome @dani2! Thanks for signing up!

[Elke]

Here's a fact sheet that we find helpful regarding addressing the challenges that many people face during the transition to parenthood

We have a number of other really helpful tools available via our resources section on our website - feel free to have a look via: https://www.panda.org.au/awareness/resources

[Elke]

Cheerbear - Hindsight can be cruel like that. Had you known that the pressure was completely unrealistic and unhelpful it might have saved a lot of grief. As you say, this is why having these conversations is just so crucial. Well done you for wading through it!

[Kezk]

Hi @dani2, thanks for joining us to share your story. I can imagine it would have been tough having premi twins and this certainly would'nt have been the entrance into parenthood that you were hoping for. Some times it doesn't seem to matter how much support we have around us, we can still feel isolated and like we are not being the parent we 'think' we need to be. What did you believe the perfect parent looked like?