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when is a loved one classified as a missing person

Hello all

 

I have started this thread to open up a discussion about the classification of "a missing person"

I have not found anything else about this subject on the forums..

I might not have typed the correct words in the search bar....I am no technology guru trust me..

 

For some time now I have felt that this is an area that does not fit within most of the current threads...

as I have said I cannot find any other thread in the past to rebirth so to speak...

If you receive phone calls ...are unable to ring the mobile ....experience constant change of mobiles....do not know the exact whereabouts of person....unable to go and visit...unable to talk face to face...unable to hug...unable to hold...listen to delusions...hang onto every word and find a gap to attempt connection...occasionally succeeding for a minuscule moment..sensing you have that loved one fleetingly...

where are you all..?

You must be out there...

 

There are so many missing people....

Unless you find yourself remotely related to this predicament you might not even be aware of this fact as was the case with myself...

I was horrified...at the statistics...

Most people associate this with people without any signs of mental illness...I have to say that I hate this term.. I cannot find something that fits...why is that... how can anyone know how it feels to be struggling within another's mind? so I use the term at the moment...mind struggles..

I have been searching frantically for nearly two years for support groups....I have been directed to a few..I have found them to concentrate mostly on the struggles of the people present opening up...

nothing has come to fruition...

why is that?

Look at the statistics..

The family members....friends....are grieving...

It is actually seen as taboo in the world that I am in..

why?

so I invite all discussion around this subject...

why?

quite frankly I am beside myself with searching for support groups.....agencies...government assistance...

I gleamed the other week that a support group that had previously been active in another state will now cease due to the roll out of ....yes you guessed it....NDIS....

In my state there are no support groups other than missing persons.....NORMAL missing persons....NO reference to "mental health"...

Research shows that many homeless people...not all..suffer from some mental health condition..

personally I hate the word mental health...

I have experienced stigma and huge struggles as a result of acknowledging that I have a history of . .....major depression and chronic trauma....anxiety...

My encounter with varying people within the medical industry has demonstrated a defensive reaction towards any of my questions in regard to the matter of my health at the time...

I know from talking to lifeline so many times when the pain becomes unbearable that there are many out there going through this..

talk to me

help me

 

My voice matters...'

My missing family member matters...

If you are still reading....I feel for you

 

7 REPLIES

Re: when is a loved one classified as a missing person

@Sophia1 My dear friend Sophia1 xxxxx

Re: when is a loved one classified as a missing person

@Sophia1

 

 Inexpressible pain.

Re: when is a loved one classified as a missing person

Hi @Sophia1

 

I don't like the term Mental Illness either - maybe it applies to someone who is really incapitated by whatever it is that ails them but not everyone

 

I prefer the term I invented - Emotional Discomfort - which I think - well in my case - in the past I had Reactive Depression and I still have Anxiety - and that can be bothersome and can really fracture a day - or an event - try changing terminals at the airport when the flight is nearly ready to leave - that was a kicker

 

But about missing persons - yes - I have been on the "safe-at-home" side of missing persons - my son was frequently missing and it was a nightmare. There were no mobile phones then and I would have no idea where he was or why he had chosen to run off again and I never will - was he abused? I will never know - 

 

But he was so unhappy - I suppose he ran away to find a better place but of course when ever he got where he was going - he was still himself and so miserable and so fragile

 

Our hearts can break for those who disappear - and sometimes forever - anything could and sometimes does happen - I feel so much for families of people who are lost forever - I cannot imagine what that must be like as my son turned up every time - but it is a horrible place

 

Don't we as their loved-ones count? Don't we matter? Have they run off to punish us for some real or imagined fault? How can we ever tell?

 

You have such a powerful point to make here Sophia - I am glad you have spoken up

 

Dec

Re: when is a loved one classified as a missing person

Thank you for such a caring response @Dec

I read my post again and realise that I was all over the place at the time of writing it....

In fact it probably does not make sense to most people...

I am tempted to delete it...

You connected with my meaning though which helped me tremendously...

perhaps that is the answer not so much the precise wording of a post...rather the feelings read between the words...particularly by those who have or are still experiencing grief of a loved one through loss within their illness...

there is so much that I can put into words...

I am just so very tired...

"family member" is all over the place during telephone calls...desperately wanting help...diverting to delusional thinking...now his cards are stolen for his bank account...he believes money stolen from his account...

his father has sent him some money and I sent him some today...

he is at least finally on some medication...

however probably being released next week...

the government has so much to answer for...

it is not the people working within the system...it is the limitations and poor pay...lack of beds...upgrades and reductions of beds...

emergency department overloads...

on and on and on...

Australia is heading down the same path as America...

The government does not care about the mental health system in this country at all....they do not care about the health system full stop...

even doctors...specialists whom I have spoken with have openly said that the system is failing ...breaking down...

one specialist told me that he has told his son not to study medicine as the government does not provide adequate facilities and staffing..

how sad is that..

I am one person...

if one more person listens and tells someone else..

then the message can continue on...

change can happen that way...

 

Re: when is a loved one classified as a missing person

@Sophia1

 

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Re: when is a loved one classified as a missing person

Don't delete the post @Sophia1 - it's a good one - you have made good points

 

You are probably too close to it all and being let down - it's hard to sort our ideas when so much is happening all at the same time - and you are tired - but it makes perfect sense to me

 

Yesterday I had a moment of melt-down - I will write about it in my thread and tag you - I wasn't triggered - it just happened - but out of nowhere I felt the pain of my son dying as he did - so broken and unhappy inside himself and losing his life - suicide - it really hit me and I had a bad night - 

 

But I understand the missing person thing and yes - in our case DHS was not what it is today - it was a long time ago and a broken system for broken families with broken teens and it was something I had my 10 minutes of fame on TV about when I had the chance to comment on the system and did and what went on after that led to the improvement

 

You are right though - the workers are often dedicated and there is not enough pay and not enough people and not enough facilities and not enough placements and your missing person is going to be out of wherever he is and this is a huge bother for you because you care so much and I understand - I have been there - I have no idea how I found placements for my son but I did - phone call after phone call in despair - he couldn't/wouldn't live with us - heart-breaking - yes - and although everyone's situation is different we have a commonality there - things can be tough and we have to work it through and we have a starving system and too many people - many in the wrong place and I can hear you and I am with you - and I really do get it

 

And you are right - Australia is heading down the same path and America - pardon my irony but we are following another blind leader and we may fall into a ditch

 

And you are one person and I am one person - I added my voice to the wilderness decades ago and now you are but we are two people and there are others - it's just that we are not all in the one place at the same time

 

Thinking of you

 

Dec

 

 

Re: when is a loved one classified as a missing person

@Dec

Thank you so much for such depth in your response...

I shall read your other post that you have tagged me in...

I want to show the respect that you are so entitled to...

I do hope that my writing on here was not a catalyst for your "moment of melt-down"

Heart:Cat Sad

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