10-10-2018 01:08 PM - last edited yesterday by s-jay
I’ve always had that ‘something’ that keeps me sane. My animals and surroundings that bring me back to reality, and never cease to make me smile. They are my safe place. My happy place.
I look forward to both small and big things, whether that’s a coffee in the morning, or upcoming travel.
I am lucky.
But what happens when someone doesn’t have any of that? What happens when the small things don’t work anymore, and there is no place you are happy or feel safe? What happens when you’ve tried medication, spoken with professionals, and nothing changes?
What happens if these are the words of someone close to you..?
There are some things I don’t need to say, because they have professional support for that. But I still do. The reality is, that they need me for emotional support, because they’re not getting that support from anyone else. They need me to listen. But what if that’s not enough anymore?
10-10-2018 11:49 AM
10-10-2018 04:09 PM
Reality is all you can do is listen and that would be enough @Invincible the reason why so many are in this forum
I guess it’s their journey and no one will know what is going to happen except the person walking it. All you can do is support. There’s no quick fix
10-10-2018 09:22 PM
Welcome to the forums. Supporting a loved one through what sounds like unremitting depression can be confusing and heart breaking. I agree with @TAB that shifting this post to the Carere's side of the forum might see you get a few more helpful responses from others who are in a similar position to you. Would you like help to do this?
Given how long a road recovery can be for some people, it can be really vital for carers to be proactive in staying well supported themselves, throughout the process. It might seem selfish to think about yourself when somebody that you love is suffering, but in reality, the better you look after yourself, the more that you will have to give to others.
There are multiple services available out there for carers, depending on which state that you are in.
Mental Health Carers Australia : 1300 554 660 might be a good place to start.
All the very best,
11-10-2018 11:45 AM
Hi @Invincible and welcome to the forums!
It's nice to hear you recognise the little things that keep you going. Animals can be amazing for mental wellbeing and can provide a great sense of comfort.
It sounds like you are very concerned about the mental health of someone close to you. It's understandable that you worry about what would happen if speaking to you no longer helped. It's good that they are seeking professional support. Having patience is important as recovery can be a long and bumpy journey.
Being someone's support person can be challenging - it's important you also have support. You may be interested in reading about "What support is available for carers".
11-10-2018 02:30 PM
12-10-2018 09:19 AM
I think we all need meaning and purpose in our lives. Seeing our loved ones struggle = living grief.
You are not alone, a lot of us struggle with this. It is heart breaking when even life is too much and joy cannot be found in simple things and there is absence of anticipation. We feel so helpless.
There are no easy answers as with many neurologic disorders, mental illnesses are poorly understood and treatment really only keeps the symptoms at bay. I think as the aetiology of some disorders is linked to trauma that perhaps in our minds we see kindness as the antidote, and that if we do all the "right things" then our loved ones will be ok. But the reality is that it doesn't work like that and as with any other medical condition, despite best intentions and best available treatment, not all patients improve or have adequate symptomatic relief. Love and kindness go a long way in this setting as they learn how to manage their conditions. This can and does include practical and emotional assistance and we should never underestimate the value of that.
I will tag you in a couple of threads that might be of interest and you can 'meet' some other carers.
12-10-2018 09:49 AM
Hi @Invincible - I have just worked a little magic and put the replies you had to this same post in Lived Experience side into this thread so you have the all in the one place now. Yay!
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