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Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

 

Hi Shaz51 ,

 

This Zorro and I need your help. My wife has bi polar and is refusing to taske her meds.

She got herself in a traffic incident a few months ago, she did nothing wrong but she did not stop when the police ordered her to stop.

 

Now she has to appear in court in a fortnight time, I am trying to get her to understand that she has to be there, but she is not comprehending and worse still not taking her meds. Our doctor has referred her to a psychiatrist as well to help change her meds, but she wont go to that appointment either.

 

I am caught in a catch 22 situation and there is no way out, if I cant get her to court on the day, she will be arrested and she does not understand this. I am beside myself with fear for that she will be arrested and I dont know how to prevent this from happening.

 

Mentally now I feel like I am in the process of having a mental breakdown myself, I am definately not coping. How should a carer deal with a situation like this? Shaz51 any ideas I dont know where to begin and I will have a breakdown shorlty myself.

 

Do I just not worry about it and let the law do what it does, if she refuses to go to court.

 

Please help any suggestions.

 

 

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Zorro  my first thought is - do you qualify for legal aid? If so, I would suggest you contact them and make an appt and get some advice in relation to your situation.  It is important that the court is made aware of your wife's illness esp if she is going through a manic phase.

 

Has your wife stopped meds before and if so how long before she crashes? 

 

Has your wife got a safety plan in place that sets out what should be done in case of emergency? Does she have a case worker you could call and provide some 'carer communication'.

 

@Shaz51  

 

 

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

Thank you Darcey for responding. I am going to go in to Legal Aid today and
try and lodge an application for legal aid today.

But it is going to be difficult as my wife has bi polar she does not want
to go to legal aid herself, even if I go with her but I have managed to get
her to sign the application however.

Dealing with someone who is mentally ill is so much harder than caring for
someone who is physically ill because they cannot rationalise logic.

Yes she has stopped her meds yesterday but she has not crashed yet!

What is a case worker, I have never heard of them before I have been
battling this Bipolar thing on my own for the last 20 years odds. It has
been terrible on my own.

I get no financial or other forms of support from the government, is there
people out there who can help me. I feel so much pressure on myself, I feel
like I am having a nervous breakdown myself at the moment and will probably
will lose my job in the coming months and then I will really be in trouble.

Can you advise me in this regard. This could be really helpful to me.

You cannot under estimate how you guys just being there helps, it is a very
lonely and dark life being a carer like myself.

Please send me any useful information, that I can use, I am losing the plot
myself.

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Zorro

 

Doing things on your own is tough bit there are supports available for you as a caregiver, even if your wife is not amenable to accessing any. I did it on my own for too long and I am very grateful for the supports I/we now have. If you let me know what state you are in I can give you links. 

 

Is your wife on DSP or have you a health care card? You may need that to access legal aid. I don't know what state you are in but familiarising yourself with your local mental health act might be wise (I might be wrong but in most states a magistrate can order a mental health assessment if a patient appears in court). There are some community groups that also offer free legal advice.

 

A case worker is a staff member, often a nurse,  part of the public system treating team assigned to be the contact point for a patient and carer. They help out with safety plan, appt making and generally keep an eye on the patient.

 

The public system is stretched and they often try and encourage non acute patients into the private system. We really cannot afford private health and in any event Mr D was too unwell and ended up on treatment orders - public being the only option. I try not to overburden Mr D's treating team and I am proactive in ensuring Mr D has proper follow up monitoring (ie bloods, heart etc) as per treatment protocols which I think they appreciate.

 

It took an attempt for me to look things up and understand what was happening in relation to Mr D's mental health. Since doing so, as a couple we are doing a lot better. I now know how to support him better, he understands I am on his side.  He is amenable to me being involved in his treatment and I appreciate this as when he became unwell he was doing it on his own and failing miserably. The present focus on patient responsibility for their own recovery fails to recognise that for some patients to thrive, they do need support and help with their decision making. 

 

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

Hello @Former-Member, @Zorro

I like to say sorry as my computer is at the doctors and I am using my phone at the moment

I have been doing it on my own, it is tough , over the years learning more about bipolar has helped me , but with having no support has made it harder 

My Mr shaz does not do well at decision making and I have to make them 

He has cancelled all help and centre link is far too stressful, so we don't get any support there

Some days he wants me to ring the mental health team that he had when he was in hospital 3 years ago but then he cancel it 

I am finding that if I am calm , he is OK , if I have everything under control he feels a bit relaxed but there are changes everyday

So we have lots of ups and downs everyday, it is hard for us to care for ourselves too 

And I have lots of other things happening in my life, to listen to clues like yesterday Mr shaz , I told him  no work today as you don't look well , and so he went to bed 

@Former-Member, I that no the carers link might be what I need too 

 

 

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Shaz51

This is link to various support services in Qld - it lists groups other than MI including diabetes and kidney (the latter under chronic disease)

 

https://www.selfhelpqld.org.au/directories?field_og_group_ref_tid=40&title=&field_acronym_value=&fie...

 

Mental health carer support

https://www.qld.gov.au/community/support-for-carers/support-groups-for-carers

 

Carers Qld

https://carersqld.com.au/about-us/regional-offices/

 

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

How are you going @Zorro

Quick check in too @Jacques

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

Hi @Former-Member not a good night tonight, my partner is having serious SI and I'm trying really hard to keep her safe. I'm so scared I will lose her. I just hope my love is enough to keep her safe.

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Jacques how are you going? 

@Zorro thinking of you too. 

 

Re: Supporting a partner in a crisis

@Jacques how are you going?  Is the roller coaster still running at full speed?

@Zorro thinking of you too.  Have you been able to get some support?

 

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